I will get cold feet if there isn't some sort of attraction before dating someone.

sammij said:

i mentally swore off this one guy today after not talking to him for a while, and of course he messages me a half hour later asking me out. i swear to god men have a psychic alarm that goes off whenever they think we might actually be losing interest

evenstar3 said:

what is that sound? little pieces crumbling away from your ego?!? omg a girl LOST INTEREST!!!!!

ZombieKitten said:

their psychic alarms span thousands of miles and all levels of closeness. it's fucking bizarre.

evenstar3 said:

It drives me insane, and is actually kind of a turn off.
Granted, I will push myself away from a boy if I know I need to get back to ME.
But I don't like the games.

I'm not woman enough to deal with it I guess

sammij said:

me either. i suck at playing them

evenstar3 said:

I don't know if I'll ever get good at them..

What games do people play?

evenstar3 said:

YES! That guy I was stuck on (sent you his picture) would do that to me every time! Just at the moment when I was convinced he had no interest, and I would truly let go... BAM! He would poke back into my life big time. It drove me nuts! THANK GOD he has a real girlfriend now so I can feel normal again.

heartbeatocean said:

GAWD this thread title!!!



I have high standards and they don't include any old schmoes!

Fauxie said:

I know you've been married since the 90s, but please - how about playing dumb?

!

Cinnie said:

I've been married since only 2007 actually.

I could probably think of a few, but I'm tired. I was hoping that somebody with them closer to the tip of their tongue might be able to give a few examples.

Are we talking about stuff to do with calling, not calling, and all that? What else? I'm picturing myself being single now and it would be a hilarious mess.

heartbeatocean said:[quote]

evenstar3 said:

Fauxie said:

I don't get the game thing either and I'm single.

But maybe that's why.

I won't go out with just anybody, but I'll go out with a lot of people. I always figure, what's the harm? Worst thing that happens is a bad date. Big deal. What was I going to do with that time otherwise? Fuck around on the internet? May as well take the risk.

I've made some really good friends by agreeing to go out with people who weren't immediately super hot to me, but who asked nicely and seemed intelligent.

That's my big thing. If you strike me as smart, I will almost certainly go out with you at least once.

i went out with a pan handler who begs for money once i made a couple of bucks. im not cold hearted cuz i do give out my money if i see someone is in need.
then walk away nothing personal at all...
i've had guys were the communication is totally off and theres misunderstandings....

lol
[Edited 3/9/10 22:07pm]

tackam said:

So you go out with them, decide you don't want to "date", then you stay friends and even get together as friends?



I'm definitely getting very familiar and friendly with one guy who invited me to "sit together" at a play...but then again, I want a rock star.

CarrieMpls said:

I think the game thing comes from people not being clear on what they want, so they send all kinds of mixed signals, teasings, yeses then noes. People who don't have their shit together psychologically can play a lot of games. They can be on ego trips, not completely honest, ashamed of things, trying to impress, self-absorbed, the list goes on and on. I think not playing games is being real and honest, being aware of the other person and COMMUNICATING.

I'm actually trying to avoid games, by deciding now what I want to get by going out with someone and who I want to go out with. If I took a more casual approach, go out with anyone, not think about it too much...I might get cold feet, like Cinnie said...and that's a kind of a game. That is, to agree to something then suddenly back out. Not that all the variables and emotions can be predicted beforehand. But I think the more self-aware you are, as well as having awareness of others, the less game-playing you do.

Speech over.

ZombieKitten said:

I don't even remember anymore what dating was like. After that 17 year long relationship I started my new one without dating .

tackam said:

Those were my thoughts when I dated. I made the mistake in my late teens early 20's of sizing people after 30 seconds of meeting them; I missed out on getting to know a lot of people who probably could've taught my dumbass something.

I tell my daughter date....not one guy at a time either, juggle.

Serious said:

I think by dating they mean "calling each other boyfriend/girfriend" not necessarily going on "dates" from what I understand, and until you are living together or married you are "dating".

ZombieKitten said:

Well I am living together with him when we are in the same country. I was living with him after having known him for 3 days so to speak . But you know about the crazy circumstances don't you

TD3 said:

I'm experimenting with this as we speak. It's a new experience for me.

tackam said:

I'd rather mess around on the internet.

CarrieMpls said:

I combine the two.

vivid said:

Heres what my new dating requirements are gonna be:

Have to be willing to atleast TRY to listen to my music.
Not wear Cologne.
Not try to dress up. Like just wear your reg clothes.
Be funny.
I have to be insanely attracted to him.
He has to not text 18 year old girls.
He has to be willing to have sex with me with my bra on.
Be good with kids. Not just good, but like active with kids.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

purplehippieonthe1 said:

just till i get my boobs done. and that wont be for a while.