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PrintableI only date people I'm attracted to. I'll hang out with almost anyone, but dating (at my age anyway) is reserved for folks I think I wanna shag.
shag....  | |
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Crush dude was not at the gym today  Crush dude has been MIA for the past week
I sent crush dude a friend request on Facebook.....  | |
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violator said: I only date people I'm attracted to. I'll hang out with almost anyone, but dating (at my age anyway) is reserved for folks I think I wanna shag.
shag.... Hot. | |
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BklynBabe said: Crush dude was not at the gym today
Crush dude has been MIA for the past week
I sent crush dude a friend request on Facebook..... That's a start... if (when  ) he accepts, you'll be able to see if he's "otherwise involved" before making a move.  "Love Hurts. Your lies, they cut me. Now your words don't mean a thing. I don't give a damn if you ever loved me..." -Cher, "Woman's World" | |
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I have to be excited by the thought of a person to want to go on a date. If you will, so will I | |
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thekidsgirl said: I have to be excited by the thought of a person to want to go on a date.
:nods: I agree! I've gotten "cold feet" before dates because I realized I didn't really want to be with that person... "Love Hurts. Your lies, they cut me. Now your words don't mean a thing. I don't give a damn if you ever loved me..." -Cher, "Woman's World" | |
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violator said: I only date people I'm attracted to. I'll hang out with almost anyone, but dating (at my age anyway) is reserved for folks I think I wanna shag.
shag.... PREACH THAT SHIT!!!!! | |
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heartbeatocean said: ZombieKitten said:
okay, let's take the one I married for example the random hook-up guy 
no romantic overtures really 
I could tell he was REALLY REALLY into me that was kind of amazing to me, since nobody before him had shown me that they were so attracted to me before  THAT excited me, but it wasn't necessarily an aspect of their person as much as it was my own narcissism - you know like my ego was so big by that point I hadn't even considered whether it was mutual yet  BINGO! That's EXACTLY what happens to me EVERY TIME. They are nuts about me, and I fall for the attention. But if I really like a guy, then it's chase, chase, chase...  
I've never found a situation that's in between the two extremes, or shall we say ...mutually satisfying... I've never chased a guy, but have secretly pined away for years at a time though | |
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ZombieKitten said: I've never chased a guy, but have secretly pined away for years at a time though Yeah, I always tell myself I'll never chase after a guy - then that's exactly what ends up happening. [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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JustErin said: heartbeatocean said: BINGO! That's EXACTLY what happens to me EVERY TIME. They are nuts about me, and I fall for the attention. But if I really like a guy, then it's chase, chase, chase...
I've never found a situation that's in between the two extremes, or shall we say ...mutually satisfying... If a guys is nuts about me, I get freaked out and turned off. Just like me enough to want to see me sometimes, share things with me. Don't worship me because that's a surefire way for me to not be interested.
not worship but I really REALLY turned him on
I think I would have been freaked out too, except there was an amount of intrigue and I found him exotic (he was older and more grown up than me, Argentinian etc etc  )
After I knew him for 3 weeks I was pretty sure I loved him  | |
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sammij said: ZombieKitten said: I've never chased a guy, but have secretly pined away for years at a time though Yeah, I always tell myself I'll never chase after a guy - then that's exactly what ends up happening. it feels so demoralising | |
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ZombieKitten said: sammij said: Yeah, I always tell myself I'll never chase after a guy - then that's exactly what ends up happening. it feels so demoralising It does. 
And even as a young woman now I still have a hard time not doing that
But most guys seem to dig girls who don't pay them any mind... I don't think I'm cut out for this dating thing. [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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sammij said: ZombieKitten said: it feels so demoralising It does.
And even as a young woman now I still have a hard time not doing that
But most guys seem to dig girls who don't pay them any mind... I don't think I'm cut out for this dating thing. the master's housemate told me to play hard to get, to get him to like me more I was like  he already likes me! I'm not playing any games 
weird huh | |
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ZombieKitten said: sammij said: It does.
And even as a young woman now I still have a hard time not doing that
But most guys seem to dig girls who don't pay them any mind... I don't think I'm cut out for this dating thing. the master's housemate told me to play hard to get, to get him to like me more I was like he already likes me! I'm not playing any games
weird huh That's what I don't like. Why does everything have to be a game? Why does there have to be a strategy at getting you to like me other than me just being ME?
dating actually depresses me to be honest... It's like being me isn't good enough.  [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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It's actually more like being me is too much. [...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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sammij said: That's what I don't like.
Why does everything have to be a game? Why does there have to be a strategy at getting you to like me other than me just being ME?
dating actually depresses me to be honest... It's like being me isn't good enough. Just hope you're not dating when you're MY age. It gets harder.  "Love Hurts. Your lies, they cut me. Now your words don't mean a thing. I don't give a damn if you ever loved me..." -Cher, "Woman's World" | |
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chocolate1 said: sammij said: That's what I don't like.
Why does everything have to be a game? Why does there have to be a strategy at getting you to like me other than me just being ME?
dating actually depresses me to be honest... It's like being me isn't good enough. Just hope you're not dating when you're MY age. It gets harder. 
[...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...] | |
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sammij said: chocolate1 said: Just hope you're not dating when you're MY age. It gets harder.
"Love Hurts. Your lies, they cut me. Now your words don't mean a thing. I don't give a damn if you ever loved me..." -Cher, "Woman's World" | |
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For one reason or the other, I'm apparently not that appealing to women (at least one woman told me I had nothing to offer to women) so I haven't been in a position to accept or reject dates.
The few times I have either asked a woman on a date or she has sensed I'm interested, I've always been rejected. I guess I would want to have SOME standards if the opportunity ever came, but then again SOME people I know keep telling me "looks aren't everything" "you need to be less shallow" "lower your standards and go home with that chubby one"
I don't know if those who say that say it because I'm too ugly to go out with hot women or if I'm really THAT shallow. | |
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purplehippieonthe1 said: For one reason or the other, I'm apparently not that appealing to women (at least one woman told me I had nothing to offer to women) so I haven't been in a position to accept or reject dates.
The few times I have either asked a woman on a date or she has sensed I'm interested, I've always been rejected. I guess I would want to have SOME standards if the opportunity ever came, but then again SOME people I know keep telling me "looks aren't everything" "you need to be less shallow" "lower your standards and go home with that chubby one"
I don't know if those who say that say it because I'm too ugly to go out with hot women or if I'm really THAT shallow. but you know that is true, right? a woman who will go out with a man who has nothing to offer but good looks is not worth the time or the effort. the same would be true of a man who can't see beyond the surface. I was thinking though, of an experiment you could do. Do you have a really hot friend who might pretend she is going out with you? For some reason I'm willing to bet that will get you some attention. Women who otherwise wouldn't look twice suddenly will try and guess what it is you have they didn't notice before, and might like to find out for themselves. Anyway, move to a country with a bigger population dude 
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ZombieKitten said: purplehippieonthe1 said: For one reason or the other, I'm apparently not that appealing to women (at least one woman told me I had nothing to offer to women) so I haven't been in a position to accept or reject dates.
The few times I have either asked a woman on a date or she has sensed I'm interested, I've always been rejected. I guess I would want to have SOME standards if the opportunity ever came, but then again SOME people I know keep telling me "looks aren't everything" "you need to be less shallow" "lower your standards and go home with that chubby one"
I don't know if those who say that say it because I'm too ugly to go out with hot women or if I'm really THAT shallow. but you know that is true, right? a woman who will go out with a man who has nothing to offer but good looks is not worth the time or the effort. the same would be true of a man who can't see beyond the surface. I was thinking though, of an experiment you could do. Do you have a really hot friend who might pretend she is going out with you? For some reason I'm willing to bet that will get you some attention. Women who otherwise wouldn't look twice suddenly will try and guess what it is you have they didn't notice before, and might like to find out for themselves. Anyway, move to a country with a bigger population dude
If I could get a job and a working permit in an English-speaking country I would perhaps move, since there seem to be no jobs available for me here at the moment. I don't know what exactly I could change about myself to be at least vaguely interesting to women - even though I acknowledge I am shallow I don't always have the same taste in women my mates have. There have been attractive (to me) women I've talked about to my mates without them getting what the fuss is about. At least I can't change my looks, so there has to be something else I need to do.... I don't have any single female friends, at least not any who are currently living in the country, so the "fake date" thing probably wouldn't be possible. I do play guitar and I always thought many chicks were interested in musicians, but when I was in band some years ago playing in places all over the country, there were NO groupies for me. [Edited 3/8/10 15:42pm] | |
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purplehippieonthe1 said: ZombieKitten said: but you know that is true, right? a woman who will go out with a man who has nothing to offer but good looks is not worth the time or the effort. the same would be true of a man who can't see beyond the surface. I was thinking though, of an experiment you could do. Do you have a really hot friend who might pretend she is going out with you? For some reason I'm willing to bet that will get you some attention. Women who otherwise wouldn't look twice suddenly will try and guess what it is you have they didn't notice before, and might like to find out for themselves. Anyway, move to a country with a bigger population dude
If I could get a job and a working permit in an English-speaking country I would perhaps move, since there seem to be no jobs available for me here at the moment. I don't know what exactly I could change about myself to be at least vaguely interesting to women - even though I acknowledge I am shallow I don't always have the same taste in women my mates have. There have been attractive (to me) women I've talked about to my mates without them getting what the fuss is about. At least I can't change my looks, so there has to be something else I need to do.... I don't have any single female friends, at least not any who are currently living in the country, so the "fake date" thing probably wouldn't be possible. I do play guitar and I always thought many chicks were interested in musicians, but when I was in band some years ago playing in places all over the country, there were NO groupies for me. I was sort of half kidding about the fake date thing, but I would have been curious to see the result
I remember karmatornado starting a thread about how now he has a hot girlfriend all the other hot girls are paying him attention. and remember, "chicks" are people too, don't resent them for not being how you want them to be. I worry they can feel that you have an underlying bitterness about it. The "you just prove my theory right" thing. I think I've said something to you about that before
Since I don't know what you are like in person and can only go by your photos where you are smiling and look like a happy fun person, and your laments on the org, where it sounds like you aren't so happy, I'm not even sure my advice is relevant! | |
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ZombieKitten said: purplehippieonthe1 said: If I could get a job and a working permit in an English-speaking country I would perhaps move, since there seem to be no jobs available for me here at the moment. I don't know what exactly I could change about myself to be at least vaguely interesting to women - even though I acknowledge I am shallow I don't always have the same taste in women my mates have. There have been attractive (to me) women I've talked about to my mates without them getting what the fuss is about. At least I can't change my looks, so there has to be something else I need to do.... I don't have any single female friends, at least not any who are currently living in the country, so the "fake date" thing probably wouldn't be possible. I do play guitar and I always thought many chicks were interested in musicians, but when I was in band some years ago playing in places all over the country, there were NO groupies for me. I was sort of half kidding about the fake date thing, but I would have been curious to see the result
I remember karmatornado starting a thread about how now he has a hot girlfriend all the other hot girls are paying him attention. and remember, "chicks" are people too, don't resent them for not being how you want them to be. I worry they can feel that you have an underlying bitterness about it. The "you just prove my theory right" thing. I think I've said something to you about that before
Since I don't know what you are like in person and can only go by your photos where you are smiling and look like a happy fun person, and your laments on the org, where it sounds like you aren't so happy, I'm not even sure my advice is relevant! I'm usually happy when in good company, but I'm not happy about some of the stuff happening in my family (stuff I've mentioned earlier on other threads), and also not happy about being still unemployed and single. But yeah, I have my fun moments. 
I do realise I sometimes need to lighten up and not overthink things. That's one of my main problem, apart from being terribly shy.  [Edited 3/8/10 17:18pm] | |
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purplehippieonthe1 said: ZombieKitten said: I was sort of half kidding about the fake date thing, but I would have been curious to see the result
I remember karmatornado starting a thread about how now he has a hot girlfriend all the other hot girls are paying him attention. and remember, "chicks" are people too, don't resent them for not being how you want them to be. I worry they can feel that you have an underlying bitterness about it. The "you just prove my theory right" thing. I think I've said something to you about that before
Since I don't know what you are like in person and can only go by your photos where you are smiling and look like a happy fun person, and your laments on the org, where it sounds like you aren't so happy, I'm not even sure my advice is relevant! I'm usually happy when in good company, but I'm not happy about some of the stuff happening in my family (stuff I've mentioned earlier on other threads), and also not happy about being still unemployed and single. But yeah, I have my fun moments. fun people will attract - I bet you ARE being too picky, there are probably very smart and fun and sexy girls you're not noticing just because they don't match your template   | |
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ZombieKitten said: purplehippieonthe1 said: I'm usually happy when in good company, but I'm not happy about some of the stuff happening in my family (stuff I've mentioned earlier on other threads), and also not happy about being still unemployed and single. But yeah, I have my fun moments. fun people will attract - I bet you ARE being too picky, there are probably very smart and fun and sexy girls you're not noticing just because they don't match your template I'm usually too shy to approach them I guess.
Sometimes I get the strong feeling like I should approach a particular girl, but I fear rejection so much that I don't do it, especially if it's someone I don't know at all or my friends don't know... and of course afterwards I instantly regret not doing anything and think about it too much. | |
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purplehippieonthe1 said: ZombieKitten said: fun people will attract - I bet you ARE being too picky, there are probably very smart and fun and sexy girls you're not noticing just because they don't match your template I'm usually too shy to approach them I guess.
Sometimes I get the strong feeling like I should approach a particular girl, but I fear rejection so much that I don't do it, especially if it's someone I don't know at all or my friends don't know... and of course afterwards I instantly regret not doing anything and think about it too much. 
what's the worst that can happen? | |
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ZombieKitten said: purplehippieonthe1 said: I'm usually too shy to approach them I guess.
Sometimes I get the strong feeling like I should approach a particular girl, but I fear rejection so much that I don't do it, especially if it's someone I don't know at all or my friends don't know... and of course afterwards I instantly regret not doing anything and think about it too much.
what's the worst that can happen? I don't know... even when I didn't make a pass at this one girl I was interested in and was around a lot (because I worked with her) - she pulled me aside after two months of me being passive but still somehow showing my interest, and she gave me the speech about me obviously fancying her and how I was very sweet and fun but she was seeing someone.... So even when I don't try anything, I still get rejected. In a way, that's probably worse than if I had actively tried to get with her. I just need to get over my shyness somehow. | |
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purplehippieonthe1 said: ZombieKitten said:
what's the worst that can happen? I don't know... even when I didn't make a pass at this one girl I was interested in and was around a lot (because I worked with her) - she pulled me aside after two months of me being passive but still somehow showing my interest, and she gave me the speech about me obviously fancying her and how I was very sweet and fun but she was seeing someone.... So even when I don't try anything, I still get rejected. In a way, that's probably worse than if I had actively tried to get with her. I just need to get over my shyness somehow. don't make "a pass" I hope you don't mean like with a pick-up line or something!!!
and stop drooling in the hot chick's presence | |
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ZombieKitten said: purplehippieonthe1 said: I don't know... even when I didn't make a pass at this one girl I was interested in and was around a lot (because I worked with her) - she pulled me aside after two months of me being passive but still somehow showing my interest, and she gave me the speech about me obviously fancying her and how I was very sweet and fun but she was seeing someone.... So even when I don't try anything, I still get rejected. In a way, that's probably worse than if I had actively tried to get with her. I just need to get over my shyness somehow. don't make "a pass" I hope you don't mean like with a pick-up line or something!!!
and stop drooling in the hot chick's presence No pickup-lines, just being more "active" about my interest. I even met that girl a few months ago and was invited to a VERY small party at her house (just she and her female friend)... even when I was just being friendly (not thinkin about anything else than being a friend) she just HAD to say "You know we're just gonna be friends, right?" and I just said "Yeah of course" And yes I promise to stop drooling. | |
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purplehippieonthe1 said: ZombieKitten said: don't make "a pass" I hope you don't mean like with a pick-up line or something!!!
and stop drooling in the hot chick's presence No pickup-lines, just being more "active" about my interest. I even met that girl a few months ago and was invited to a VERY small party at her house (just she and her female friend)... even when I was just being friendly (not thinkin about anything else than being a friend) she just HAD to say "You know we're just gonna be friends, right?" and I just said "Yeah of course" And yes I promise to stop drooling.   | |
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