Raise your right hand and repeat after me...

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr.Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes look like they've been dragged behind her car on the way to work and no sandal in the world is going to make her feet look good.

I promise that if I wear flip flops, that I will ensure they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I promise to go my local beauty school at least once per season and have a real pedicure.

I promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show of wear... nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.


Oh - and these rules apply to men, too.

You did this thread last year as well, didn't you?

JustErin said:

Damn straight. I ain't lookin' at a bunch of jacked up feet all summer.

Also when wearing sandals, I vow not to wear socks with them, just because Prince has been known to do that.

psychodelicide said:

Somebody need to tell Pretty Man that socks won't hide bunions.

Genesia said:

Exactly!

Let's not forget we are not supposed to wear white sandals until after Memorial Day . Is there an exception for Easter?

If I had my way, nobody but nurses would wear white shoes - ever.