I peered out the window tonight while reading a book, and the Bangkok skyline from the 14th floor of my window beckons me. It's gorgeous at night, a sea of endless lights that seems to go on forever.
On New Years eve, I stood on top of one of the nearby buildings with a bunch of drunk professors, students, and such and watched the sky go ablaze with fireworks everywhere. It was riotous.

Last year was the biggest change in my life since I was 20 years old. I lost my job at the end of 2008, and ended up having to live with my mother in rural Alabama--a fate worse than death (the location that is). Though I struggled to find employment, and had dozens of interviews (mostly phone), I was unable to land anything. It simply was not in the stars for me.

But I started thinking as I looked otuside the window. Life doesn't always deal you the cards you want it to, but this doesn't mean you just throw your arms up and surrender to it. I keep telling my undergrads that even if they loath a subject for an exam they're about to take, that is no reason to just give up. Study, study, study. Work hard, and you'll succeed.

But this confidence was lacking in myself with regards to how I went about my life. I realize now that last year wasn't all that bad. I vacationed for almost a month in Germany...got laid by super hot Turkish delight...wandered the streets of medieval cities...and found time to bond again with my nephews. I also visited Thailand and had ...an adventure... Also, met Fauxie and his lovely wife, and discovered I wanted to live there again.

I came back to the states, got the necessary certifications for working in Thailand (in about 1/3rd the time it normally takes folks ), and was back in Thailand by November of 2009.

Why am I rambling on and on about this? The reason why I'm saying this is because even when life feels really really shitty sometimes...If you go about moving in the right direction, even if it doesn't feel like anything is happening... SOMETHING REALLY (((( IS )))) happening. It's not about instant gratification. It's not about how you feel at any given moment. IT's about how you live your life.

Everything is different now. All the names, faces, voices, languages, and experiences I have encountered over the last 2 years have been astounding. My life in the last two years has been .... if anything, beautifully unhinged.

It's so hard to be brave. It's so hard to endure. It's so incredibly difficult to persevere. But you don't have a choice. Like Dave1992 says, you either have a big sloppy clitoris, or you have a cute little one---but it's still your clitoris...and you still need to keep it clean, even if you think it's unfair.


Thank you.

Do you die at the end?

Number23 said:

TheVoid said:

Ah, fuck.

I'm truly happy for you.

TheVoid said:

Oh, but we do have a choice. Every day is chock full of choices. From opening our eyes in the morning to closing them at night, we decide most of what happens to us.

You made active, positive choices, Dan. You had something bad happen to you and, instead of moaning at the unfairness of it all, you decided that you didn't want to be where you were and changed the situation. You took a leap, had faith that it would all work out in the end, and discovered amazing things about the world and about yourself.

Granted, not everyone has the skills and audacity to do what you did. But there are other, smaller choices that everyone has the chance and the ability to make. Something as simple as stepping away from the computer and getting out into the world, or deciding that, for even one day, you are going to be the best employee/spouse/sibling/parent you can possibly be, can change your entire life.

You deserve every bit of the joy and wonder that have come your way, because you created them.

I only read the last paragraph. Did I miss anything enlightening?



Ha! J/K!
Reading that brought a lot of the same feelings/thoughts I have to the surface.

I hear ya!

It is good to sit back and reflect and be thankful for each day, even the shitty ones.

You've been here since November and we haven't seen your Alatamplinasian ass.

Even Jane's asking if she can meet you because we've told her you're super-charming but street and incredibly complex.

i was waiting for some butthole references but then he brings up clit !!

i guess it's the water down there or something...

Have you ever considered a career in writing feminine hygiene product commercials??.

Still a very interesting read, though. Even if you sometimes have to make decisions that are different to how you imagined your life to be, they don't have to be bad decisions at all. You play your part in making your life and sometimes the world around you has a hand in it too. We can't fight it, nor can we deny it, nor are we always prepared for the spontanious changes in our lives, but if we find balance and peace, there is no way those changes must be negative and make life worse.


Even a clit can change, though.

Dave1992 said:

Ewww, now I got these visions of vulva's with teeth.

johnart said:

HamsterHuey said:

As if it mattered to you.

HamsterHuey said:

Isn't that a mouth?

Dave1992 said:

Come here, bunny.

Dan what the FUCK ARE YOU SMOKING?

ScarletScandal said:

cock.

baroque said:

Ouch!

vivid said:

I just noticed your sig.
<---shut the fuck up Dan.