I got this email the other day and thought it was hilarious! And so TRUE!



> > HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Take off clothing and place it in sectioned
> > laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
> >
> > Walk to bathroom wearing long robe.
> > If you see husband along the way,
> > cover up any exposed areas.
> >
> > Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
> > make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
> >
> > Get in the shower. Use wash cloth, long loofah,
> > wide loofah and pumice stone.
> >
> > Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
> > with 43 added vitamins.
> >
> > Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
> >
> > Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
> >
> > Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for
> > 10 minutes until red.
> >
> > Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut
> > and jaffa cake body wash .
> >
> > Rinse conditioner off hair.
> >
> > Shave armpits and legs.
> >
> > Rinse off.
> >
> > Turn off shower.
> >
> > Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
> >
> > Spray mold spots with Tilex.
> >
> > Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
> >
> > Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
> >
> > Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head.
> > If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
> >
> > -----
> >
> > HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
> >
> > Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
> > and leave them in a pile.
> >
> > Walk naked to the bathroom.
> >
> > If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her
> > making the woo-woo sound.
> >
> > Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
> >
> > Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
> >
> > Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
> >
> > Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
> >
> > Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
> >
> > Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
> >
> > Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
> >
> > Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
> >
> > Pee.
> >
> > Rinse off and get out of shower.
> >
> > Partially dry off.
> >
> > Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was
> > hanging out of tub the whole time.
> >
> > Admire wiener size in mirror again.
> >
> > Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,
> > and light and fan on.
> >
> > Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
> >
> > If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her
> > and make the woo-woo sound again.
> >
> > Throw wet towel on bed.

- Take off clothes and throw them on the kitchen floor
- Turn the shower on and feel tired for a minute or two underneath it
- Wash hair
- Wash it the second time
- Sing either "We Are The World" or "Lady In My Life"
- Scrub myself
- Remain blissfully unaware that I have legs and they should be scrubbed too
- Speak alone for a moment
- Turn off shower
- Dry myself a bit
- Wrap the towel around my waist
- Go play a keyboard or write nonsense on the internet
- forget where I left the towel

Water restrictions = 4 minute shower.

- Take off clothes and throw them on the kitchen floor

novabrkr said:

I enter my bathroom from the kitchen. If I threw my clothes on the bathroom floor they'd get wet.