I was in California after the Vegas concert and I ran into my Ex boyfriend, we were together like 16 years ago (I was almost 26 yrs old).. After my divorce... Well anyway we have kept in touch over the years via Phone...Well anyway saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing I had to do...I have my life now and it is dedicated to my children , he married with his own family so NOTHING can ever come out of this relationship but a good learning experience on both sides and KNOWING we are great friends..TRUE friends! He was the one THE ONE who really loved me..UNconditionally, but I was still getting over divorce and I did not trust..Now I see his love but it is to late...Still I would not know how to love him or anybody for that matter in the way they deserve to be loved...But I am getting there ... Anyway who was your first love? Do you still see them and how is your relationship with them now? Just wondering .. P.S. He did call me when I returned home and told me the way he felt which was the exact feelings I had when we parted but I have to respect his life, his wife and his children so all I can do is hope ONE DAY I will find that again.

The lesson I learned is you can't go back..

My first love and I were first together when I was 22 and him 25...I ditched him because I knew he wasn't ready for me..

We ran into each other again, I was attached and he was to..

3 years later we were ran into each other again, and both available so we decided to try it out.. 6 years later he broke my heart.. He wasn't the person that I thought he would be. Verbally abusive, and a druggie..

Some things are meant to be left in the past.

I believe getting over your first love is not possible, it's the hardest as is the second... two long term relationships gone 5 years, then 8 years... very sad, and some feelings never ever go away. I messed them both up not in a horrible way, just messed them up - time will tell if third time lucky. I hope so, I can broke no more hearts, or my own again!

"If you break my heart one more time...it'll be the last heart you ever break, I've taken all I can take, baby this heart weren't meant to break!"

sag10 said:

I totally agree about leaving the past just were it is.. .. Sorry about your experience with this person.. This person I am talking about never did drugs or drink for that matter.. He just worked and minded his own business..I broke his heart..But now mine is lonely .. Oh well, one day ... ...I hope it will not be to late though...

Hmm Org confessional time?

My first big love in my life was when I started uni... at that age I was totally unprepared for the intensity of the feelings etc, it was quite mad! Love like that leaves you in a weird state... the slightest smile or loving glance can send you to heaven, but the slightest sharp word or angry expression can devastate you. Anyway without going into details she betrayed my trust and broke my heart... after a breakup like that, there is no "just staying friends". Anyway I don't believe in that half-way shit - I either trust someone completely or I shut them out entirely.

After the break up I did some stupid stuff, got really ill... quit uni for a year to get my head together, travelled around Asia... didn't date anyone for about 2 years... after that I made up for lost time by dating absolutely LOADS of women and being a cheating, lying bastard. Ah well, it was my early 20s so I had to get that out of my system. Then I met the woman who I later married and everything worked out fine, and it's now 5 years later!

I think everyone needs at least one big shitty traumatic breakup in their life... makes you stronger! I met her years later and I was pleased to find myself totally cool and unaffected... she has no power over me anymore. So now we still keep in touch a couple of times a year, since there's no point in obsessing over silly stuff we did when we were just hormonal teenagers

Chasing said:

... .. Like Prince says in his song " But don't you have to have a heart first before you get it broken? " ... This WAS me .. Oh well, thank goodness for time...and as Prince also said.. "Money can't buy you happiness, but it can help pay for the search" ... Me!

Oh man...I was very much in love with my high-school sweetheart once upon a time (I was 18, she was 17); I was planning my life around her, changed colleges to be near her. She just totally had me wrapped around her little finger...and then POOF! she fell out of love with me one summer while I was taking Calculus II.

I was never suicidal, but nothing has ever come close to the level of devastation I experienced...

These days I look back fondly on those times, don't really hold it against her. I figure it was just the hormones, mostly because of what I've learned about relationships in the last 15 years...

ian said:

LOL.. Good way at looking at the matter.."one big shitty traumatic breakup" ... Never looked at it that way ... Thanks I might just end up jotting this one down as that! It was not a shitty breakup for me, as I broke up with him ...I broke his heart, but as they say what comes around goes around and I guess my time is here... I hope it goes by quick though...

i've never had a first love...call me odd...

My first love was Beverly, in the sixth grade. It was, of course, an unrequited love.

I moved away after the sixth grade, but thought about Beverly from time to time.

Twelve years later, on Thanksgiving holiday, on an impulse I drove over to Beverly's old house and knocked on the door. Turned out I was two doors off. The neighbor told me Beverly did indeed still live in the house, but was away at college.

So, on New Year's Day, I screwed on my courage again and knocked on Beverly's door.

She answered. When I told her who I was, she hesitated for a minute, then embraced me. She was beautiful.

We talked all day and then made a date for the next night. We ended up at a secluded, romantic bar. When I leaned over and kissed her, twelve years' worth of fireworks went off. I'll never forget it.

We dated for a little while, then she dumped me. We dated again a year later (I saw her on "Star Search" and had to call her. At the time, she was the all-time record-holder in acting wins on that show. Never hit it big, although she's still on TV from time to time).

Nothing became of our relationship, so the fairy tale was over, but I was glad I finally got to kiss the first girl of my dreams.

And we both lived happily ever after, marrying the REAL person of our dreams.

Thank you God.

teller said:

Teller ... You..."Once upon a time" ... So did you at least pass Calculus II? I hope so, at least something good happened that year

OceanaOne said:

They say that this loneliness is called being in the meantime... Perhaps you are preparing yourself for the "big" one... That would be nice, good luck..

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

No that is not odd...I have never been "in love" I can now because I now know what love is ... My heart WAS to hard to break..now it has gone soft on me... but there is nobody to love ... My love, WHERE ARE YOU?

RodeoSchro said:

Aww this sounds like a nice lil story..glad you got to (at least) finally one day kiss her

Back in Hawaii, the high school yearbooks travel from school to school. Not quite sure how or why this happens, but it does.

My first love saw a picture of me, my senior picture, and asked a life-long friend about me. My mother was living in the 20's, lol, so I wasn't allowed to date, much less talk to any male on the phone.

One day, while I was over at my life-long friends house, she made a phone call, and handed me the phone. I kept in contact with him, by calling him whenever my parents weren't home.

We talked for hours at a time, and finally after 6 months or so, I got to meet him, secretly with my older sister. We met, hit it off, and after 5 years of dating - I agreed to marry him.

To make a long story short, he had became a cocaine addict 2 years prior, during a very brief break-up of ours. I had no clue. 3 months pregnant, 7 months into our marriage - I am cleaning out the car, and find a straw, a mirror, and a vial of cocaine.

I was crushed. He was my world. First and only guy I had ever been intimate with, I trusted him with my life, and I was pregnant with his child.

He had sucked up MY savings, and I was left with 2,000...I never monitored my savings - I had merely added his name when we got married.

I forgave him, and lived with him for another year...until my wedding ring disappeared and I could no longer trust him.

I ran as far away as I had ever been, MPLS.
[This message was edited Thu Jan 16 10:05:14 PST 2003 by LaVisHh]

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

Careful, Prince might read this and take notes...next thing we know...there's some album about you!

LaVisHh said:

..well, it wouldn't be terribly bad. he'd be smitten with a sagittarian chick.


noooo!
[This message was edited Thu Jan 16 10:06:39 PST 2003 by Handclapsfingasnapz]

sag10 said:

Thank you Sag10. I think so too...I think I am FINALLY ready...But where is he

Well, its interesting that you bring up this topic, as this is happening to me right now. Back in high school, I dated this girl that I fell head over heals for. We dated until the middle of my freshman year in college. I only broke up with her because she was going into the Airforce, and I didn't want to hold her back from her dreams (I loved her too much to do that. I never confessed how I felt to her, because I didn't want to influence her one way or the other. A couple of months later, she called me to tell me that she had been discharged from the Airforce because of her asthma. By this time, I had started dating someone else. I seriuosly thought about breaking up with the other girl, but I just felt like that would be cruel. (I wound up staying with the other girl, and it became the worst relationship I was ever in). Despite the fact that I didn't get back together with her, I continued to maintain a friendship with her.

After a while, I just stopped hearing from her altogether, and all my attempts to contact her failed. I heard rumours that she got married, but no one seemd to know where she was.

Flash forward twelve years later. I'm going through a divorce, after a year of seperation from my wife, and I'm being considered for a promotion that would take me back to my hometown of Houston. One night, I have a vivid dream about this girl, and it leaves me with this feeling that I just can't shake: I need to find her. I try to ignore the feeling for a day or two, but it won't go away. I talk with a friend, and he tells me that he believes God is telling me that I need to get into contact with her. So, I go about the task of trying to find her, this time using the resources of the internet. No luck. I search every firggin' people finding site there is, but I turn up squat. Zilch, zip, nada! Downcast, I start thinking that maybe I was wrong about the dream. Maybe all it was was a random thing.

In December, I go down to Houston for the day. I'm being interviewed for the promotion. Since I could only spare one day away from the office, I have to make it a day trip (on a tuesday, to be precise). I drive from San Antonio in the morning, spend all day interviewing, and then start to head back. By this time rush hour is in full-effect (and in Houston, it is a nightmare of epic proportions). I decide to stop and grab a bite to eat, and try to get some down time before making the long trip. I pull into a mall on the outskirts of Houston, called Katy Mills. I had never been to this mall, because it was built after I moved away, and it is about an hour away from my old digs anyway. After bumming around for about an hour, I notice something out of the corner of my eye: Its her! Naturally, I was stunned! I approached her, and she responed with a big hug and a stunned "omigod"! I ask her if she now lives in this area of town, but she tells me no. She still lives on the other side of town, and was only out there to meet some friends! I discover that she, the same as me, is going through a divorce. We chat for a while, and then exchange phone numbers.

Since that time, we've gone out a couple of times (I'm still living in S.A., but I should be transferring soon), and we talk on the phone quite a bit. We're taking it slow, because we both are coming out of long-term relationships. She's very guarded, so we're keeping it friends for the time being, but we'll see what develops. I, for my part, am totally thrilled! It seems like it just can't be a coincidence! (She told me that the day she ran into me, her horoscope said she would find her soulmate when she rekindled a long lost love. Normally, I'd be sceptical of a horoscope, but I can't deny that its too much to be coincidence)!

So there it is. I'm simultaneously thrilled, and scared shitless! Please, say a prayer for us!

Dont be Desperate Oceana. When you are NOT looking that is when you'll find it.

If you seek it -- you usually will seek out the wrong person because you are so focused on certain qualities and wanting "it" to work, you'll overlook the bad ones and then you become one of those scary girls on the BACHELOR.

Be patient and occupy your time with other things.

This is very tricky!!! I've lived my life in relationships, but never really loved them like lovers should love.

After one of my long term relationship I met someone really special to me. We started out as good friends and after 2 bottles of champagne and a bottle of red wine we became intimate. Even though we never tagged us as a couple we were only with eachother. No one else really mattered. Since I cherrished our friendship so much I had to end it because my feelings for her grew stronger. I can say she made me a better person and taught me how to love. She made me realise being physical and mentally abusive to people isn't the answer. For this I will always have her close to my heart.

Now I have found my true love, Gina. If I would of never had that first love I wouldn't of found Gina and for that I'm forever grateful. We still run into eachother here and there and I know deep down no matter what I could never see me with her, but I still have love for her.

Much Love,
LoLinex

JediMaster said:

That's wonderful! I do wish you both the best.

"Everyone feels that their first love is their last...and that their last love is their first..."

Can't remember who said that...but thought I'd throw that into the thread...

LaVisHh said:

WoW..LaV..Sorry about this experience...awful! TERRIBLE! Sorry he took ur money also...he really screwed up though you are a wonderful person..( On him! ) ... no man has gotten near my heart moreless near my money... Although I have made some nice investments with others money Thats ok..I dont want money...I have had everything my heart has desired materialistic wise...but now it wants what it was meant to have..LOVE, to love!

JediMaster said:

That is sooo awesome!!! I hope everything works out. I have a friend that just got married to her high school. He dumped her right before prom and they both went their seperate ways. They both had married and recently got a divorce. She ran into him at a store one day and got married a year later. This just goes to show things happen for a reason. They always say if it is meant to be it will happen. Good Luck and I hope y'all still have a connection and didn't grow apart in time.

Much Love,
LoLinex

Geeezzz you can tell I know how to love now... I'm stuck on a thread about love. Kinda funny cause I never thought I would ever be one of those people that get that warm and fuzzy feeling inside when ppl talk about love.

Much Love,
LoLinex

JediMaster said:

WOW...what a great story... I will say a for you both...Sometimes things are JUST meant to be...FATE! Good luck ...Yes take it slow...it works out best this way

Obscure said:

So true...this is why I think I work so much..I have had many opportunity...I work on a military base so I have had MANY men both enlisted and officers ask me out...I am not ready yet to get "involved" I do not want to hurt anybody again and for some reason it just does not seem right..Plus I do not want to marry into the military. I am not looking, just dreaming

wellbeyond said:

LoL...Thanks! Every bit of a word of wisdom helps SOMEBODY .

Oceana,
You seem to on the correct path. Just remember one small detail... Don't be to careful and protective of your heart. When I met Gina I had just got through saying I'm gonna be single forever and when I met her I had to take that chance. I took the chance but still stayed on guard a bit and everything went perfect. It's been 5 years and we still act like new lovers. If I didn't take that chance I could of missed it.

God will give you signs if it's not right and don't ignore them. And whatever you do DON'T LOWER YOUR STANDARDS no matter how much you start to fall for them.

Much Love,
LoLinex