http://www.fwdemails.com/...questions/

1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

2. Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough money?

3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

4. Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?

5. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

6. Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

7. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

9. Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lips”?

10. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?


11. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

12. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

13. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

14. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

15 Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

16. How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

17. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, “It’s all right?” Well, it isn’t all right, so why don’t we say, “That hurt, you stupid idiot?”

18. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

19. In Winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in Summer, when we complained about the heat in Summer?

20. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

They can't edit out the actor going "Ouch" when the gun smacks them, but you can CGI bullets bouncing off his chest all day long.


Stop peeking through my window.
[Edited 3/1/10 19:50pm]

littlemissG said:

I pick up the nozzle and feed the string to it

that.is.SO.true.

RenHoek said:

I used to have an account that charged me less fees each month the more money I had in it

ZombieKitten said:

Out here I get charged 1.5% by my UK bank when I withdraw from an ATM (4.5 GBP on my max. 300 GBP) and charged by the Thai bank 150 baht (3 GBP) too! That's up to 7.5 GBP on 300 GBP, or 2.5%! I'm good with my money, don't use my credit card, and don't go into my overdraft, yet for a while I was still paying monthly fees sometimes as high as 90 GBP ($150 AUD). That's just wrong!

I've now found one Thai bank that doesn't have that charge though, so I've at least reduced what I'm losing a little.

thesexofit said:

Good question. I wonder if they buckle up too?

AnckSuNamun said:

Simple. Protects their heads so they've the best possible chance to reach the target they want to crash into. No good coming up short and crashing into the sea because of a head injury that could've been prevented by a helmet.

No 10 is easy. We didn't evolve from apes. Apes and Humans evolved from a common ancestor. That common ancestor no longer exists. Next.

I think #9 is "an S in LISP, not LIPS"

thesexofit said:

6. Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? <<<<

seriously though, why ?

Here's one I heard a while back:

Why is there braille lettering on drive up ATM machines?