mostbeautifulboy said:

too late now!!!!!

ZombieKitten said:

yeah, there no going back now, I suppose I should just jump in head first.

Is sad healthy?

I am often sad, but I don't think it is unhealthy. It adds to the balance of life. If I was never sad I wouldn't appreciate what happiness is.

What is important is what makes us sad. I guess this is why it has evolved. The things that make us sad are the things we try to avoid in life, such as death, lonelyness etc, events that are counter evolutionary.

sadness is how we cope with those things, it's the process we go through in dealing with certain things that are part of life.

ZombieKitten said:

So sadness is active, not passive?

I always thought as anger as being active, whereas sadness is passive- and the healing process isnt part of sadness but something seperate again.

I don't like being sad.

I really don't. It destroys motivation, it completely transforms me into somebody I'm not in general, and it derails me often for weeks or months at a time.

I much more prefer anger over sadness. I find anger to be a very motivating emotion and one in which I am able to more quickly overcome.


But either way, there has to be some reason we've evolved to feel these emotions. They must provide some benefit to our lives, no?


I find that when I read a book with tender moments in it, I'm filled with a certain reverse-sadness . What I mean by this is that I feel joy for the characters in the book, but only because I've experienced sadness as a result of the opposite conditions or outcomes the characters have gone through. Sure, I'd probably feel happy for them anyway--but the emotions are deeper, more gratifying, and intrinsic when it relates to something I myself went through but with bad results. Does this even make sense to yall crazy motherfuckers and hos?




Anyways, I would love to hear your take on it. Even those of you who hate me and whose hatred I absorb with amusement and a healthy dose of self-agrandizing smugness.



.
[Edited 2/28/10 3:29am]

Funny you bring this up, Dan. In February's Scientific American Mind there's an article about new thinking around depression.

One theory is that sadness and depression -- both -- are evolutionary responses that cull rumination on a problem toward getting rid of it. In this way, you could think of sadness as the mind's way of taking good crap. In the same vein, depression might be like psychological diarrhea -- uncomfortable, even potentially dangerous separate of the problems that brought it on, but geared toward an all-cylinders focus and purging of something toxic.

The real problem with depression, according to these researchers, is that we are poised not toward engaging the rumination, but fogging it or removing it altogether. Folk insist that depressed people cheer up, meds are pushed, we resort to drugs, alcohol and -- in the most dire cases - suicide. But notice each of these obscures the rumination, rather than fixing the precipitating problem.

This makes some sense to me. My only question is around depression that isn't primarily situational, but rather biochemical. In these cases depression isn't geared toward solving a real problem, but is rather like an auto-immune response (i.e., NOT healthy).

Lammastide said:

you said it so much more than me

Sadness does suck. Recently me and my ex decided there was no hope for us to ever continue a relationship; and she seemed so calm about it, and I'm here all devastated and shit. It helps I have good friends and I deleted like all the lovey dovey pictures from my facebook, but when my mind goes back to her, I get all lazy and shit, and have to remind myself, there ARE brighter days ahead.

TheVoid said:

No, Void, what you say makes total sense. When you are in a funk, depression, a "void" you feel sad at first and then angry! And then self-amusement peels in and realization that part of it is self-righteousness! But that doesn't mean you are wrong! LOL It might just mean that your judgment is temporarily skewed or screwed! That is life! But it doesn't mean that you stay in the Void--you just visit it sometimes!

Why are so many of you Music & More folks up in heh?

CoolTarik1 said:

I'm sorry you're experiencing so much pain. It doesn't make it any better that she doesn't seem to be feeling the same level of pain.

You'll get through it.

Funny you bring this up, Dan. In February's Scientific American Mind there's an article about new thinking around depression.

One theory is that sadness and depression -- both -- are evolutionary responses that cull rumination on a problem toward getting rid of it. In this way, you could think of sadness as the mind's way of taking good crap. In the same vein, depression might be like psychological diarrhea -- uncomfortable, even potentially dangerous separate of the problems that brought it on, but geared toward an all-cylinders focus and purging of something toxic.

The real problem with depression, according to these researchers, is that we are poised not toward engaging the rumination, but fogging it or removing it altogether. Folk insist that depressed people cheer up, meds are pushed, we resort to drugs, alcohol and -- in the most dire cases - suicide. But notice each of these obscures the rumination, rather than fixing the precipitating problem.

This makes some sense to me. My only question is around depression that isn't primarily situational, but rather biochemical. In these cases depression isn't geared toward solving a real problem, but is rather like an auto-immune response (i.e., NOT healthy).
[Edited 2/28/10 20:15pm]

CoolTarik1 said:

One of mine broke up with me, pretended it was a difficult time, then had pictures posted on facebook from the pub (just 2 days afterwards). To add insult to ingury, wearing some of my clothes and a watch I had bout the person. I imagine the pictures were taken with the camera I bestowed as a present as well. It grossed me the hell out. Needless to say the person will need to stay the hell out of my sandbox possibly for the rest of our natural lives...and I'm fine with that cause I'm an evil motherfucker.

There are totally brighter days ahead. You'll reach a point, as I have, where you ask yourself, "what the hell was I thinking?" I know this doesn't help being that it seems by your post that it's a pretty fresh wound, but you'll reach a point where you just move on. You may never harbor good or neutral feelings about the person, but at least you've moved on. And this requires turning the sadness into anger and disgust. At least for me, it does. Luckily I 'm able to do that very quickly.

TheVoid said:

Oh man, all I have to say is that there are very evil people out there
wow, that totally sucks man

Lammastide said:

I think any type of sadness, is really for the most part something happening outside of yourself which you take personally, like the loss of a loved one, or a bad break-up; and often times its more about finding and realizing your self-worth than just automatically saying, "eh, why should I be sad, be happy" or drinking or the others you have listed. It is about confronting those thoughts and feelings and accepting them for what it is, and accepting sadness as a part of life, at least in my experience.

CoolTarik1 said:

Except with the biochemical onset I mentioned above, I think you're probably right.

The criticism of the popular approach seems to suggest this sort of resolution/self-affirmation, though, is actually fought against... because the depressed person is buffeted with any number of things to "soften" their experience. The scientists are suggesting we need to find better ways to help the person not around, but through, the sadness, so that recognitions and solutions can be met.

Lammastide said:

I think that is the key, finding out what is making us sad and deal with it instead of just taking a drug to mask the feelings and numb everything.
I think that when you go to a dr for your depression and the firs thing they do is hand you a script, you suddenly feel like there is something wrong with you and you need to be fixed.
It makes you feel damaged and it makes you think that what you are feeling inside is not right.
I know for me, when I have had severe depression, many times it has been situational. No drug can cure that.

MrsMdiver said:

Yep.

And what makes this a bit tougher is the fact that those with depression (of whom I'm one) may know they have things to deal with, but hurt so badly in the moment that they will gladly depend on the drugs, etc.

Not that I'm knocking meds altogether. I suspect the best therapies are mixed, but conservative -- meds (but only where necessary) to control for any unbalanced electrical/chemical/neurological goings-on; and talking therapies to help the person face precipitating issues.
[Edited 3/1/10 7:59am]

I think it's probably necessary. The real painful kind, not the wallowing, self-absorbed feeling sorry for yourself kind that you can almost enjoy.

CarrieMpls said:

I hear ya! Mine were more stable when I was pregnant. Since then, they have been all over the place. I guess that is why some ppl say they enjoyed being pregnant.
I can say that my depression was much better when I was pregnant.

So TheVoid is Dan?

Serious said:

Even though he has given me shit for having more than one user name.

Alej said:

I understand that, there are alot of people like that,Including me but in certain cases .

And it depends on the situation , If something Horrible happened,I get so angry to the point i start to cry.

crying is the cure for sadness, if you are sad and you want to cry then cry as much as you can, don't keep it inside, it will kill you.

So...

Sadness is very UNhealthy.

TheVoid said:

I ota cry when I'm very angry. I'm not a girl. I promise