I got this email the other day and thought it was hilarious! And so TRUE!



> > HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Take off clothing and place it in sectioned
> > laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
> >
> > Walk to bathroom wearing long robe.
> > If you see husband along the way,
> > cover up any exposed areas.
> >
> > Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
> > make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
> >
> > Get in the shower. Use wash cloth, long loofah,
> > wide loofah and pumice stone.
> >
> > Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
> > with 43 added vitamins.
> >
> > Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
> >
> > Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
> >
> > Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for
> > 10 minutes until red.
> >
> > Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut
> > and jaffa cake body wash .
> >
> > Rinse conditioner off hair.
> >
> > Shave armpits and legs.
> >
> > Rinse off.
> >
> > Turn off shower.
> >
> > Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
> >
> > Spray mold spots with Tilex.
> >
> > Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
> >
> > Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
> >
> > Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head.
> > If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
> >
> > -----
> >
> > HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
> >
> > Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
> > and leave them in a pile.
> >
> > Walk naked to the bathroom.
> >
> > If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her
> > making the woo-woo sound.
> >
> > Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
> >
> > Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
> >
> > Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
> >
> > Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
> >
> > Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
> >
> > Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
> >
> > Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
> >
> > Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
> >
> > Pee.
> >
> > Rinse off and get out of shower.
> >
> > Partially dry off.
> >
> > Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was
> > hanging out of tub the whole time.
> >
> > Admire wiener size in mirror again.
> >
> > Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,
> > and light and fan on.
> >
> > Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
> >
> > If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her
> > and make the woo-woo sound again.
> >
> > Throw wet towel on bed.

ThreadCula said:

BAHHHH I didnt know there was a vid!! Im stealing it for FB!!

I don't shower like either.

I pee in the shower and adjust my breasts.

johnart said:

i wear clothes in the shower. nudity is bad.

johnart said:

According to this, I shower like a man

florescent said:

florescent said:

florescent said:

Ew.

florescent said:

so... what are you shakin' and makin' woowoo sounds with??

will there be pics??

I definitely shower like a man, but my wife seems to too (although she does shave legs and underarms - leaving nasty hairs everywhere....)

I’ve seen this, and it’s a good giggle.

My morning routine is much more long and drawn out:

Take off pajamas and hang over the end of bed (socks and underwear go in clothes basket).
I walk to the shower naked but I live alone. And I wouldn’t “woo woo” at anyone.
Pee (in toilet).
Put lid down and flush.
Get in shower.
Leave back of shower door open 3 inches so kitty #1 can get inside and sit on the edge of the tub.
Turn on and adjust water to perfect temperature.
Tell kitty #1 to walk from front of tub ledge to the back so she doesn’t get wet when I turn it on.
Turn on shower.
Talk to kitty #2 who is on the ledge on top of the shower doors.
Wash hair (currently rosemary juniper shampoo).
Put conditioner in hair (currently rosemary mint conditioner).
Brush teeth.
Soap up scrubby thing (currently using handmade soap that smells like cotton candy, yum!).
Wash body.
Shave pits and sometimes legs.
Wash face with calming cream cleanser.
Rinse conditioner out of hair.
Turn off water.
Grab towel and dry off in shower.
Dry hair last and wrap hair in that towel.
Put towel-mat on floor for standing on (I keep it hanging up).
Turn on water in bathroom faucet for kitty #2 to get a drink.
Dab eye cream under eyes.
Apply facial moisturizer (with sunblock).
Q-tip ears.
Put on deodorant.
Take hair out of towel (and hang up towel) and brush out my hair, parting down the middle.
Make sure faucet is turned off.
Hang up towel-mat and walk back to bedroom (yup, nude again).
Get dressed, which may include ironing as needed.
Head back to bathroom to put on foundation (with spf 15).
Go out to computer desk and log in while putting on the rest of my make up.
Check org, facebook, the weather and sometimes bus schedules (if I’m running earlier or later than usual).
Go back to bathroom and apply biosilk shine therapy to hair.
Blow dry with big round brush.
Add a bit of product after dry.
Spray perfume.
Check cat dishes for food and water.
Then I’m ready to put on my shoes or boots, grab my bag, coat, gloves, etc. and go!

My normal daily routine takes just under an hour, but I can do it in about 35-40 if I’m in a rush.

RenHoek said:

Hahahaha. Well of course, all the gross things don't apply... I don't have butt hairs for one
I always throw my clothes in a pile and walk naked to the bathroom. I don't shake anything (voluntarily).
I always leave the bathroom in a big wet mess... then I clean it later.

I never have loofahs and loads of bottles of things - I keep it simple. I never wrap my hair in a towel and I never clean the shower straight after showering either.

florescent said:

that's a relief. i was rather hoping you wouldn't tell us you fart, pee and draw willys on the mirror.

whistle said:

I don't think i've ever wee'd in the shower but i'm sure the others apply

CarrieMpls said:

So do you keep your toothpaste in the shower with your tooth brush?

florescent said:

johnart said:

I had to stop for about 5 minutes just to laugh at this.

I'm like a hybrid shower-er, then.

I do all the loofah stuff, the shampoo stuff, but I leave water on the floor. Robe optional, clothing in a pile on the counter. Oh well.

tinaz said:

Yes. Obviously, I take it out for brushing at other times, but more often than not they're kept in the shower.

The only real rule I have with showering is face first, ass last.

Anyway, I do it like the lower left.

1. Walk into bathroom
2. Take off towel and hang over the door (bathroom wall doesn't meet the ceiling)
3. Turn on water at tap/faucet
4. Pick up small plastic bowl
5. Put bowl under tap/faucet
6. Tip bowl of water over head
7. Repeat, brush teeth, use shampoo, shower cream etc.

Fauxie said:

lemme guess...

shower cream =

RenHoek said:

No, I don't want to make it too easy on her.

Actually, that is a plus of having a bathroom that basically is the shower that you just walk into and do your thing. You can shower with your partner. Saves time and it's hot.

Fauxie said:

we dream of a walk-in shower... until then our local hot tub place will have to suffice...

RenHoek said:

Nice!

A walk-in shower, yes, but nobody would dream of our bathroom.

Water restrictions = 4 minute shower.