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What's the funniest thing someone said to you this week??? Today, at lunch with my homegirl, she said:
"Girl, my love don't cost a thang, but maintenance . . . is a muthaFUCKA!" 
What about you? 
Oh, I forgot, me and my same girl, yesterday at lunch: Her brother who lives at home with their mother in Brooklyn asked his mama for gas money, her response, in a thick Puerto Rican accent: "I told that mo'efer he don't need no gas to go nowhere, he better keep his ass home and masturbate wit TWO FINGAZ!!!"  (I see where she gets it from)[Edited 2/19/10 17:50pm] | |
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the stupidest thing I have heard today....
A patient came in and says" wow I just got home 4 hours ago...so I say to her .oh did you work last night.... she says... well no I was out at the bar until 4am WTF... HOW or WHAT do you say to this? .do people really do this and think it is like  WTF!
Sorry I don't have a funny just a WTF! | |
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drgnfly said: the stupidest thing I have heard today....
A patient came in and says" wow I just got home 4 hours ago...so I say to her .oh did you work last night.... she says... well no I was out at the bar until 4am WTF... HOW or WHAT do you say to this? .do people really do this and think it is like WTF!
Sorry I don't have a funny just a WTF! That'll do | |
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Oh I am sure I could post stupid things people tell me everyday  but this one just TOPS it for the day/week | |
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"The gays shouldn't be allowed to adopt. It's sick." |
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I need some one to unplug my bathtub and then leave | |
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SCNDLS said: Today, at lunch with my homegirl, she said:
"Girl, my love don't cost a thang, but maintenance . . . is a muthaFUCKA!"
What about you?
Oh, I forgot, me and my same girl, yesterday at lunch: Her brother who lives at home with their mother in Brooklyn asked his mama for gas money, her response, in a thick Puerto Rican accent: "I told that mo'efer he don't need no gas to go nowhere, he better keep his ass home and masturbate wit TWO FINGAZ!!!" (I see where she gets it from)
[Edited 2/19/10 17:50pm] !!!! That is exactly something MY Puerto Rican mom would say! 
I remember being like 9 and asking my mom for some money because the icecream truck was outside and she was bent down in the tub scrubbing linens she answered: "If you can pull two hairs off my ass and sell them you'll get money for your icecream then." ah, my sweet urbanized childhood memories....  | |
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paintedlady said: SCNDLS said: Today, at lunch with my homegirl, she said:
"Girl, my love don't cost a thang, but maintenance . . . is a muthaFUCKA!"
What about you?
Oh, I forgot, me and my same girl, yesterday at lunch: Her brother who lives at home with their mother in Brooklyn asked his mama for gas money, her response, in a thick Puerto Rican accent: "I told that mo'efer he don't need no gas to go nowhere, he better keep his ass home and masturbate wit TWO FINGAZ!!!" (I see where she gets it from)
[Edited 2/19/10 17:50pm] !!!! That is exactly something MY Puerto Rican mom would say!
I remember being like 9 and asking my mom for some money because the icecream truck was outside and she was bent down in the tub scrubbing linens she answered: "If you can pull two hairs off my ass and sell them you'll get money for your icecream then." ah, my sweet urbanized childhood memories....  Ya'll fuckas spayshul!  | |
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Not funny HAHA but funny scary strange:
"someone should take care of his family because he died for what he believed in"-- in response to that idiot who flew the plane into the building in austin yesterday.  
We all should know that diversity makes for a rich tapestry, and we must understand that all the threads of the tapestry are equal in value no matter what their color. Maya Angelou | |
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butterfli25 said: Not funny HAHA but funny scary strange:
"someone should take care of his family because he died for what he believed in"-- in response to that idiot who flew the plane into the building in austin yesterday. Fuckin' nuts! | |
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SCNDLS said: butterfli25 said: Not funny HAHA but funny scary strange:
"someone should take care of his family because he died for what he believed in"-- in response to that idiot who flew the plane into the building in austin yesterday. Fuckin' nuts! that is just a sample of the dumbshit I hear everyday girl.
We all should know that diversity makes for a rich tapestry, and we must understand that all the threads of the tapestry are equal in value no matter what their color. Maya Angelou | |
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.. [Edited 2/19/10 19:54pm] | |
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"If you're too embarrassed to go in the public baths I have a solution. We'll buy a stun-gun and electrocute the water before you get in. Then you can have a bath all by yourself"
Instead, I swallowed my pride and got naked No murders committed.[Edited 2/19/10 21:56pm] "...and If all of this Love Talk ends with Prince getting married to someone other than me, all I would like to do is give Prince a life size Purple Fabric Cloud Guitar that I made from a vintage bedspread that I used as a Christmas Tree Skirt." Tame, Feb | |
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Some teenaged girl complimented on my ass crack when I bent town to tie my boots.
Dunno, I've had a pretty slow week.  | |
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Someone sent me a long-ass rant of an e-mail and at the end told me not to bother replying because they were done with me and weren't going to waste another second on me. I didn't reply and then 3 days later, today, they sent an e-mail simply saying 'blocked'. I win? MY COUSIN WORKS IN A PHARMACY AND SHE SAID THEY ENEMA'D PRANCE INTO OBLIVION WITH FENTONILS!! | |
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Fauxie said: Someone sent me a long-ass rant of an e-mail and at the end told me not to bother replying because they were done with me and weren't going to waste another second on me. I didn't reply and then 3 days later, today, they sent an e-mail simply saying 'blocked'.
I win?
Yup, you win! "...and If all of this Love Talk ends with Prince getting married to someone other than me, all I would like to do is give Prince a life size Purple Fabric Cloud Guitar that I made from a vintage bedspread that I used as a Christmas Tree Skirt." Tame, Feb | |
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A crazy friend of mine during art class:
"I'd like to experience living in many cities of the world, being poor and sensual. And meet bohemian artists." Pause "I'd like to meet at least one bohemian in each city. But, you know, not if they're too dirty" |
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"Dude, don't move to the soi 24 apartments. There's this old ass dude named Steve there who scares everybody. I don't know why he hasn't been fired yet. He's always got some stray ladyboy busting into the department demanding money for services rendered, and it's obvious he's still drunk from the night before while he's arguing with them. I don't know why he isn't fired. Dude, don't move. He's scary." | |
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We are holding a fashion event at this venue in March and my boss said she wanted to let loose vicious dogs at the end of the show. To make a thief, make an owner; to create crime, create laws. | |
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Cuddles said: We are holding a fashion event at this venue in March and my boss said she wanted to let loose vicious dogs at the end of the show.
| |
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Cuddles said: We are holding a fashion event at this venue in March and my boss said she wanted to let loose vicious dogs at the end of the show.
Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.” | |
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That a guy who says he's going to kill innocent people is totally sane. | |
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Cuddles said: We are holding a fashion event at this venue in March and my boss said she wanted to let loose vicious dogs at the end of the show.
!!! |
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Cuddles said: We are holding a fashion event at this venue in March and my boss said she wanted to let loose vicious dogs at the end of the show.
Damn | |
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Cuddles said: We are holding a fashion event at this venue in March and my boss said she wanted to let loose vicious dogs at the end of the show.
| |
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During a conversation about Jennifer Lopez:
Me - 'I've got a bum like Jennifer Lopez haven't I?' My husband - 'Yes you've got two' | |
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TheVoid said: "Dude, don't move to the soi 24 apartments. There's this old ass dude named Steve there who scares everybody. I don't know why he hasn't been fired yet. He's always got some stray ladyboy busting into the department demanding money for services rendered, and it's obvious he's still drunk from the night before while he's arguing with them. I don't know why he isn't fired. Dude, don't move. He's scary."
I knew a Steve like that. Had a problem with horse tranquilizers. Somehow I'd always end up sat in a bar drinking whiskey with him, wishing I were anywhere else in the world. MY COUSIN WORKS IN A PHARMACY AND SHE SAID THEY ENEMA'D PRANCE INTO OBLIVION WITH FENTONILS!! | |
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Fauxie said: TheVoid said: "Dude, don't move to the soi 24 apartments. There's this old ass dude named Steve there who scares everybody. I don't know why he hasn't been fired yet. He's always got some stray ladyboy busting into the department demanding money for services rendered, and it's obvious he's still drunk from the night before while he's arguing with them. I don't know why he isn't fired. Dude, don't move. He's scary."
I knew a Steve like that. Had a problem with horse tranquilizers. Somehow I'd always end up sat in a bar drinking whiskey with him, wishing I were anywhere else in the world. No wait, he was Paul, but he looked a bit like a Steve. MY COUSIN WORKS IN A PHARMACY AND SHE SAID THEY ENEMA'D PRANCE INTO OBLIVION WITH FENTONILS!! | |
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"you not gonna sit here in this bed and fart all the night away, I SWEAR TO GOD!!!" ..that just cracked him up..roflhao ... THE B EST BE YOURSELF AS LONG AS YOUR SELF ISNT A DYCK[/r]
**....Someti | |
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florescent said: During a conversation about Jennifer Lopez:
Me - 'I've got a bum like Jennifer Lopez haven't I?' My husband - 'Yes you've got two'  That ain't right  | |
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