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PrintableCarrieMpls said: TotalANXiousNESS said: I'm wondering this right now. Grissley Adams for the last couple weeks makes the most ignorant comments to me, then when he sees its pissing me off will automatically back it up with a compliment, that then, means shit to me. The flaws he points out are definetly there, they're things that I'm already extremely self consciense about. So it makes me pull away from him, and it's rather stupid on his part, cuz then he doesn't understand why I don't walk around his kitchen naked. Well, cuz ya just made me feel like shit. So, that kind of honesty I don't think is all that great, no. Like, you can't be pointing out things that people cannot even possibly change about themselves. Yanno, and it also just makes me feel like he wants something that I am not. I know he absolutely ADORES me as a person. He just wish I had bigger boobs. What a jerk! Why would you want to hang out with someone who’s constantly pointing out what he perceives as flaws? That’s not being “honest” that’s being rude. I know from experience (guy mentioned above) that it does happen. He would say things to me like, "You must not want to be with me if you're not willing to change." When I'd ask him why he was being so cruel, he'd say, "Most people can't handle my honesty." He also told me there is no such thing as "brutal honesty"- I just wanted to hear only positives... how could we grow if he couldn't be honest about the negatives as well.  "Love Hurts. Your lies, they cut me. Now your words don't mean a thing. I don't give a damn if you ever loved me..." -Cher, "Woman's World" | |
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chocolate1 said: CarrieMpls said: What a jerk! Why would you want to hang out with someone who’s constantly pointing out what he perceives as flaws? That’s not being “honest” that’s being rude. I know from experience (guy mentioned above) that it does happen. He would say things to me like, "You must not want to be with me if you're not willing to change." When I'd ask him why he was being so cruel, he'd say, "Most people can't handle my honesty." He also told me there is no such thing as "brutal honesty"- I just wanted to hear only positives... how could we grow if he couldn't be honest about the negatives as well. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, I just don't understand why anyone would put up with that. There’s having honest discussions about problems in a relationship and then there’s needling over petty things. You have to be able to talk to your partner about problems, but picking at someone is not the same thing. Anyone who wants to point out my physical flaws to me is not someone I’m gonna be with. Women are harder on themselves than any other person ever could be when it comes to their looks. They don’t need someone who supposedly loves them reinforcing their insecurites constantly. |
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CarrieMpls said: chocolate1 said: I know from experience (guy mentioned above) that it does happen. He would say things to me like, "You must not want to be with me if you're not willing to change." When I'd ask him why he was being so cruel, he'd say, "Most people can't handle my honesty." He also told me there is no such thing as "brutal honesty"- I just wanted to hear only positives... how could we grow if he couldn't be honest about the negatives as well. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, I just don't understand why anyone would put up with that. There’s having honest discussions about problems in a relationship and then there’s needling over petty things. You have to be able to talk to your partner about problems, but picking at someone is not the same thing. Anyone who wants to point out my physical flaws to me is not someone I’m gonna be with. Women are harder on themselves than any other person ever could be when it comes to their looks. They don’t need someone who supposedly loves them reinforcing their insecurites constantly. Oh, I totally agree. I didn't think you were saying it didn't happen- I was just offering an experience. "Love Hurts. Your lies, they cut me. Now your words don't mean a thing. I don't give a damn if you ever loved me..." -Cher, "Woman's World" | |
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CarrieMpls said: TotalANXiousNESS said: I'm wondering this right now. Grissley Adams for the last couple weeks makes the most ignorant comments to me, then when he sees its pissing me off will automatically back it up with a compliment, that then, means shit to me. The flaws he points out are definetly there, they're things that I'm already extremely self consciense about. So it makes me pull away from him, and it's rather stupid on his part, cuz then he doesn't understand why I don't walk around his kitchen naked. Well, cuz ya just made me feel like shit. So, that kind of honesty I don't think is all that great, no. Like, you can't be pointing out things that people cannot even possibly change about themselves. Yanno, and it also just makes me feel like he wants something that I am not. I know he absolutely ADORES me as a person. He just wish I had bigger boobs. What a jerk! Why would you want to hang out with someone who’s constantly pointing out what he perceives as flaws? That’s not being “honest” that’s being rude. I'm an idiot.   I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure
I layed down with love and I woke up with lies Whats it all worth only the heart can measure It's not whats in the mirror but what's left inside | |
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TotalANXiousNESS said: CarrieMpls said: What a jerk! Why would you want to hang out with someone who’s constantly pointing out what he perceives as flaws? That’s not being “honest” that’s being rude. I'm an idiot. Nah, you're smarter than that, I promise.  |
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JDInteractive said: do you believe that couples should be totally honest with each other?
Yes. |
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with out a shadow of a doubt | |
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KeithyT said: What do people think about keeping your private thoughts to yourself? As long as they don't have an impact on your relationship, is it OK to keep them to yourself? This could be anything from perhaps being attracted to someone else from afar and wondering... or not sharing some viewpoint but coming right out and stating it would just cause arguments. Does this count as dishonesty even if the reason you keep it to yourself is for the greater good of your relationship?
Ever see the movie Eyes Wide Shut? That's what happens when you tell your partner every secret thought you have. Disaster. | |
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TheVoid said: JDInteractive said: A lot of folks would say that something that they look for in a perfect partner is honesty. With this in mind, do you believe that couples should be totally honest with each other?
Hmmmm. Whenever I gave an honest response to one of my neurotic exe's, he'd clam up and get pissy. Some folks don't want to hear the truth, can not see it in front of them, and get very confrontational at being perceived any differently than how the perceive themselves. I want to say yes that you should be honest, but I guess it also helps to just keep one's mouth shut if they don't want to break that policy.... at least in certain situations. 
Yes, I am completely honest and expect that from him as well. | |
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I'm brutally honest. 
I always tell people before I become involved with them, "Don't ask me a question unless you want to hear the answer -- because like it or not, you're gonna get the truth." ACRYLIC
I do nothing professionally. I only do things for fun. johnart: Acrylic's old bras is where tits of all sizes go to frolic after they die. Tit Heaven. | |
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Acrylic said: I'm brutally honest.
I always tell people before I become involved with them, "Don't ask me a question unless you want to hear the answer -- because like it or not, you're gonna get the truth." everyone knows this about me sometimes it comes back to bite them in the  IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW DON'T ASK!@!@@@@ | |
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when it's something important yes, i expect no less than perfect honesty. other than that it really irks me when someone is just keeping it real about every damn thing. | |
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African proverb: All truth is good, but not all truth is good to say. The check. The string he dropped. The Mona Lisa. The musical notes taken out of a hat. The glass. The toy shotgun painting. The things he found. Therefore, everything seen–every object, that is, plus the process of looking at it–is a Duchamp. | |
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Yes |
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sextonseven said: Ever see the movie Eyes Wide Shut? That's what happens when you tell your partner every secret thought you have. Disaster. !!! | |
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I think it's best not to lie... that's different from beeing honost..
I hate it when someone close lies to me... it's more painful than the truth. The Borg... Partypoopers of the galaxy.. ( Medical Hologram )
------------------------------------------------- ..Where is my lovelife.. where can it be?? There must be something wrong with the machinery.. | |
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CarrieMpls said: ButterscotchPimp said: However? the problem with that is being "kind" is SOOPER SUBJECTIVE. my last ex (insane) equated anything she perceived as "negative" as "mean". Some people really don't want the truth regardless of how softly it's broken in. It's easier to just agree and tell them what they want to hear sometimes. That's true, but I can't imagine staying in a relationship with someone like that. And clearly, you didn't. Like I said above, some people might just want to pick a fight.Dumb thing is i REALLY tried. I kept coming at it from different angles. And yeah, bottom line was there was no way to win. No real way to communicate, so yeah it had to end. http://www.facebook.com/p...111?ref=ts
y'all gone keep messin' around wit me and turn me back to the old me...... | |
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The man I appreciated most was the father of my kids, he would be honest in a brutal fashion. This is why we are friends now.
I would ask a question and he would answer... "Nope, I'm not answering that question... you will not like the answer." and leave it at that. I soon learned that I could only ask him certain questions and if I had a question that would cause controversy, then I would have to rely on his actions instead. See to me men are totally honest, in their initial reactions and their activity (or lack there of) towards you. I don't really go by what a man says now.... I go by what he does. If he's happy he will show it. If he doesn't like something and it bugs him, he will tell me. If he doesn't tell me and it bugs him then he's realized he'll just get over it because to him, it's not worth fighting about.  | |
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