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How do you turn down a date invitation? I started teaching Enligh in one company and one of the guys that I am teaching found my profile on the net, answered it and wants to meet me. How do you politely turn someone down? I keep on making excuses why I can´t go on a date and his last message was if my ad was still valid? What would you answer? He´s nice and all, but I am not interested in him romantically. "When Michael Jackson is just singing and dancing, you just think this is an astonishing talent. And he has had this astounding talent all his life, but we want him to be floored as well. We really don´t like the idea that he could have it all." | |
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tell him your herpes is flaring up...that should slow his roll... | |
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thejason said: tell him your herpes is flaring up...that should slow his roll...
Actually, that´s true.  I hate it. I keep on having it almost nonstop during autumn and winter. Can´t get rid of it.[Edited 2/8/10 12:28pm] "When Michael Jackson is just singing and dancing, you just think this is an astonishing talent. And he has had this astounding talent all his life, but we want him to be floored as well. We really don´t like the idea that he could have it all." | |
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dag said: I started teaching Enligh in one company and one of the guys that I am teaching found my profile on the net, answered it and wants to meet me. How do you politely turn someone down? I keep on making excuses why I can´t go on a date and his last message was if my ad was still valid? What would you answer? He´s nice and all, but I am not interested in him romantically.
Do not make excuses, because that makes you a liar, and I don't believe you're a liar. Simply say, "I'm flattered by the invitation, but I'm going to have to say no at this time. Thank you, and good luck in all that you do." He's going to hear "Rejection" no matter how you type it, but at least be nice. Keep it short and simple. It doesn't have to be, nor do you probably want it to be, a long drawn out conversation of "why" or "Yeah, but". | |
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ernestsewell said: dag said: I started teaching Enligh in one company and one of the guys that I am teaching found my profile on the net, answered it and wants to meet me. How do you politely turn someone down? I keep on making excuses why I can´t go on a date and his last message was if my ad was still valid? What would you answer? He´s nice and all, but I am not interested in him romantically.
Do not make excuses, because that makes you a liar, and I don't believe you're a liar. Simply say, "I'm flattered by the invitation, but I'm going to have to say no at this time. Thank you, and good luck in all that you do." He's going to hear "Rejection" no matter how you type it, but at least be nice. Keep it short and simple. It doesn't have to be, nor do you probably want it to be, a long drawn out conversation of "why" or "Yeah, but". This is basically what I would say. There's nothing wrong with saying no. You're not being mean by saying no. |
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ernestsewell said: dag said: I started teaching Enligh in one company and one of the guys that I am teaching found my profile on the net, answered it and wants to meet me. How do you politely turn someone down? I keep on making excuses why I can´t go on a date and his last message was if my ad was still valid? What would you answer? He´s nice and all, but I am not interested in him romantically.
Do not make excuses, because that makes you a liar, and I don't believe you're a liar. Simply say, "I'm flattered by the invitation, but I'm going to have to say no at this time. Thank you, and good luck in all that you do." He's going to hear "Rejection" no matter how you type it, but at least be nice. Keep it short and simple. It doesn't have to be, nor do you probably want it to be, a long drawn out conversation of "why" or "Yeah, but". See, I wrote something in that sense the first time and he probably didn´t get it. I thanked him for the invitation and said that I had to decline now. I probably made the mistake of using the word now. He probably thought the next time, I´d say yes. So what shall I write now? [Edited 2/8/10 12:47pm] "When Michael Jackson is just singing and dancing, you just think this is an astonishing talent. And he has had this astounding talent all his life, but we want him to be floored as well. We really don´t like the idea that he could have it all." | |
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thejason said: What´s so funny? "When Michael Jackson is just singing and dancing, you just think this is an astonishing talent. And he has had this astounding talent all his life, but we want him to be floored as well. We really don´t like the idea that he could have it all." | |
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A simple "no thank you" seems to be the best choice ~ I would think | |
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dag said: ernestsewell said: Do not make excuses, because that makes you a liar, and I don't believe you're a liar. Simply say, "I'm flattered by the invitation, but I'm going to have to say no at this time. Thank you, and good luck in all that you do." He's going to hear "Rejection" no matter how you type it, but at least be nice. Keep it short and simple. It doesn't have to be, nor do you probably want it to be, a long drawn out conversation of "why" or "Yeah, but". See, I wrote something in that sense the first time and he probably didn´t get it. I thanked him for the invitation and said that I had to decline now. I probably made the mistake of using the word now. He probably thought the next time, I´d say yes. So what shall I write now? So is this the only he's asked you out, or is this the second time, based on the "now" part? If it's the second time, then 'd still go with my statement, but take out the "at this time" part. K.I.S.S. | |
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He sent more messages and in two of them he asked me out. You know my answer to the first invitation and recently he´s sent two separate messages that I haven´t answered yet. One asking if I´d go out to have a cup of tea or coffee with him and the last one asking if my ad is still valid. I am not sure if I should answer both of them to say, yes my ad is still valid and then, to the other message: No, thank you. It seems kinda rude to me. If I wasn´t meeting him every Wednesday, I wouldn´t care that much, but this way it makes me feel bad.
I don´t know how much he likes me, I hope not too much cause i know the pain of being rejected. Luckily for me, I never got to see any of the guys afterwards which made the pain easier to take cause I can´t imagine meeting them regularly, it would hurt so much. I´d hate to feel that I am a source of such pain. Thanks everyone for your replies. I appreaciate it. [Edited 2/8/10 13:11pm] "When Michael Jackson is just singing and dancing, you just think this is an astonishing talent. And he has had this astounding talent all his life, but we want him to be floored as well. We really don´t like the idea that he could have it all." | |
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dag said: I started teaching Enligh in one company and one of the guys that I am teaching found my profile on the net, answered it and wants to meet me. How do you politely turn someone down? I keep on making excuses why I can´t go on a date and his last message was if my ad was still valid? What would you answer? He´s nice and all, but I am not interested in him romantically.
Thank you, but I am not interested. I don't want you to think like me. I just want you to think. |
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dag said: thejason said: What´s so funny? I've never heard anybody talk about their herpes and follow up with, "can't get rid of it" It really is the gift that keeps on giving... | |
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dag said: He sent more messages and in two of them he asked me out. You know my answer to the first invitation and recently he´s sent two separate messages that I haven´t answered yet. One asking if I´d go out to have a cup of tea or coffee with him and the last one asking if my ad is still valid. I am not sure if I should answer both of them to say, yes my ad is still valid and then, to the other message: No, thank you. It seems kinda rude to me. If I wasn´t meeting him every Wednesday, I wouldn´t care that much, but this way it makes me feel bad.
I don´t know how much he likes me, I hope not too much cause i know the pain of being rejected. Luckily for me, I never got to see any of the guys afterwards which made the pain easier to take cause I can´t imagine meeting them regularly, it would hurt so much. I´d hate to feel that I am a source of such pain. Thanks everyone for your replies. I appreaciate it. [Edited 2/8/10 13:11pm] If your ad is still valid you should tell him that. That's more validation that you are seeking someone, just not him. Also let him know that you aren't interested in dating him. Be upfront. It may not even hurt, but stringing it out will, it's something you could've said in the beginning rather than dancing around it. I don't want you to think like me. I just want you to think. |
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A simple "No" will suffice. | |
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Well, he sent numerous messages. The first ones were in Eglish and he was writing something in a sense that he´d like to practice his English, so I wasn´t sure what he meant. Anyways, with your help, I came up with this reply:
"Yes, my ad is still valid. I wasn´t sure if you wrote me first to practice your English or if you were "answering my ad". If the latter one, thank you very much for your invitation, but I don´t want to meet." What do you, guys, think? "When Michael Jackson is just singing and dancing, you just think this is an astonishing talent. And he has had this astounding talent all his life, but we want him to be floored as well. We really don´t like the idea that he could have it all." | |
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If it works for you, go for it. Frankly, it's a tad wordy to be a "no". I'd just start with "Thank you very much for your invitation, but I don´t want to meet". The end. | |
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ernestsewell said: If it works for you, go for it. Frankly, it's a tad wordy to be a "no". I'd just start with "Thank you very much for your invitation, but I don´t want to meet". The end.
I think you´re right. I used your reply. Thanks. "When Michael Jackson is just singing and dancing, you just think this is an astonishing talent. And he has had this astounding talent all his life, but we want him to be floored as well. We really don´t like the idea that he could have it all." | |
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Saying No is easier than cleaning up a 'YES" mess! | |
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dag said: ernestsewell said: If it works for you, go for it. Frankly, it's a tad wordy to be a "no". I'd just start with "Thank you very much for your invitation, but I don´t want to meet". The end.
I think you´re right. I used your reply. Thanks. Well that should  up the thread then. hahaha | |
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I'd just add (now that you've told him you don't want to meet), that I wouldn't answer any questions (of a personal nature) if he asks them. Simply don't reply. That seems to work when guys do that to me. | |
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heartbeatocean said: I'd just add (now that you've told him you don't want to meet), that I wouldn't answer any questions (of a personal nature) if he asks them. Simply don't reply. That seems to work when guys do that to me.
Yeah, I probably will cause he answered again. "Oh, I see. You know nothing about me. Do you have a reason for it? PLease write something more about it. If I am bothering you, please, just answer "stop bothering me". I am not huffy." I really wouldn´t answer normally, but I feel like I should since I am meeting him regularly. [Edited 2/9/10 1:30am] "When Michael Jackson is just singing and dancing, you just think this is an astonishing talent. And he has had this astounding talent all his life, but we want him to be floored as well. We really don´t like the idea that he could have it all." | |
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I'd burn down the place. Leave's a nice clean slate.
That's what I'd do.  |
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Say no...and if they are persistent to the point of psychosis....file a restraining order Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. | |
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dag said: heartbeatocean said: I'd just add (now that you've told him you don't want to meet), that I wouldn't answer any questions (of a personal nature) if he asks them. Simply don't reply. That seems to work when guys do that to me.
Yeah, I probably will cause he answered again. "Oh, I see. You know nothing about me. Do you have a reason for it? PLease write something more about it. If I am bothering you, please, just answer "stop bothering me". I am not huffy." I really wouldn´t answer normally, but I feel like I should since I am meeting him regularly. [Edited 2/9/10 1:30am] is he a student and you're his teacher? You could say "I never date my students". But i'd only say that if it's true. Otherwise, do not engage!! Another, "I'm not interested, thank you" is appropriate and polite. "I am not interested. Please do not ask again" is a stronger response. Then if he keeps at it (which I have a feeling he will), get very clear within yourself that you will not tolerate harrassment. Be decent but not friendly in your manner. Don't smile. I would not engage in the matter. | |
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dag said: heartbeatocean said: I'd just add (now that you've told him you don't want to meet), that I wouldn't answer any questions (of a personal nature) if he asks them. Simply don't reply. That seems to work when guys do that to me.
Yeah, I probably will cause he answered again. "Oh, I see. You know nothing about me. Do you have a reason for it? PLease write something more about it. If I am bothering you, please, just answer "stop bothering me". I am not huffy." I really wouldn´t answer normally, but I feel like I should since I am meeting him regularly. [Edited 2/9/10 1:30am] Uh oh. Your reasons are your own and do not warrant explanation. Let this reply of his be your first red flag for how to detect people with stalker tendencies. I honestly would not know what o say next...or at least what to reccommend you should say. I tend to be a slightly biting when when I feel people are becoming too invasive, but perhaps that's not the best way for you
Perhaps a reply of "I am not interested in communicating with you in any way outside of what is required academically, on school property. Thank you in advance for understanding and complying with request to cease contact with me, and (to paraphrase Ernest) good luck in your future endeavors." | |
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"It's not a question of having to know you. I have two reasons; firstly, I am not attracted to you and secondly, even if I was; I would never date students. Hope you will find someone that answers your feelings soon. Good luck!" >> |
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HamsterHuey said: "It's not a question of having to know you. I have two reasons; firstly, I am not attracted to you and secondly, even if I was; I would never date students. Hope you will find someone that answers your feelings soon. Good luck!"
This is good. Just take out the "even if i was" part so that you don't leave the door open for any misunderstanding or glimmer of hope on his part. But Huey's answer works too | |
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Or;
"I THOUGHT I WAS CLEAR I NEVER WANT TO RECEIVE ANY MORE MAIL FROM YOU, YOU DIRTY SKANK!" That helps too. >> |
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I usually say that I'm seeing someone, or that I'm really busy and not looking to meet anybody anytime soon  If you will, so will I | |
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