It sens so long since I've posted but I gotta say I've had my ups and downs the last few months. Lost my job, which was fucked up. Last one to be laid off, so no severance pay. Oh well shit happens. Thena month later my sis decides to up and leave the house to move in with this guy who she barely knew. With her doing this she left me to care for a special needs family member. I was already cooking and cleaning, now babysitting. It's family, and I. Knew family came first. But what about me finding a job?

Then my non decided to get another dog. Four week old puppy. I ended up caring for that too . WTF is going on?? I'm 34 and being controlled by my moms!! My unemployment checks were coming in every three weeks! No money not being paid to babysit and still owing lots of rent. I at least wanted to go to school. Yeah right got put down for attempting to do that as well. But family comes first, gotta take care of the family!! Ran around for months cooking , cleaning , babysitting, running errands, etc . All along putting my self on the back burner. My sis's man unfortunatley, beat her and she came back home. Did I mention she married him 21 days before the beat down? Oh yeah drama!

I finally decided to take a job. A big pay cut but shit it was a job. I was happy. Well my mom was not. Who was gonna be her Cinderella now? This is when the cruelty and pain came in. She started criticizing me, telling me how I spent too much time with my BOyfriend and not enough at home. How I wasn't putting family first. I was neglecting house chores and disrespecting the house. She sent Lots of hurtful text messages telling me in irresponsible and need to check myself cause she is the only thing I got. at this point I'm shattered.

My dog gets sick, I get sick and I'm now at a new job. Timing is perfect. Dog ends up needing strong pain meds and I get kicked out of the house. Perfect!!

So I get my stuff and go. That god for a caring BF but pputting my burden on others was the last thing I wanted!! More worry:(.

So last night moms texts me and asks me when I'm talking shit saying I don't want my daughter around het cause i fear she might talk shit to her!!! Damn!!! I never said that! My sister and her lies again! So moms called me every name in the book, said I would regret everything I've done and dis-owned me!! Told me I had problems!!

I'm lost! Can't figure out what the fuck I did besides put my family first.

Just needed to vent, needed to write down my thoughts before I explode

family, first in line to fuck you over sometimes.

at the end of the day, you have to take care of you first. Put God or what ever sppiritual being ahead of it all. Do you! Then family, friends, work, whatever can come after....if they know how to ackrite.

My heart goes out to you.

Everything will come out in the wash as they say...

Lucky that you have an Org family that care about you. Big hugs and kisses xx

Lawd have mercy, that's family for ya sometimes, they can be very selfish. You have live so that YOU are happy not your FAMILY!!!! Sometimes family can be quite demanding, and unsupportive when you need their support the most, but that's the time when you have to stand on your own two feet. Family can say those hurtful things to you only when you aren't doing something THAT THEY WANT YOU TO DO, so the next best thing for them to do is to criticize and bitch and moan about dumb stuff, or lies as you said. But it sounds like you getting a job has put your life in perspective. Try to save as much as you can to get your own place or if you live with your BF then maybe ya'll can live together until whenever. Sometimes the BF's...if you have a really good one, can be more supportive than your own flesh and blood. So lean on the ones who give you support, guidance and positivity. I know it hurts when your family are acting wrong towards you, but you can't let that bring you down at the end of the day. Focus on you! Good Luck.
[Edited 1/30/10 15:36pm]

what in the hell!!!

you have a "victim" for a mother and it's so totally not your fault. She is playing the child to your parent, manipulating you with guilt trips.

ZombieKitten said:

I'm sad to say that I've had some family members try to manipulate me with guilt trips in order to make me do things that I had already said that I wasn't going to do for them. It's rediculous.

your family must be related to my family!!! i can relate to your feelings, i hope things get better for you!!!

I had a remarkable shitty year last year, and some of it was due to being laid off in late 2008. If you have a masters degree and lots of experience, you're expensive and nobody wants to hire you. It was the weirdest thing.

I can only hope...no... expect... that 2010 is going to be stellar in comparison. Keep your chin up kiddo.

TheVoid said:

Is this why I haven't been getting any phone calls for interviews????

missfee said:

Oh yes.
That is exactly why. I was very hastily vetted by an H.R. person for an AT&T affiliate and rushed to an Interview the next day. The next day, the hiring manager looked at my resume during the Interview (apparently for the first time), and almost chocked like he had just swallowed a chicken bone. I was overqualified for the position (which I find a ridiculous term), and he felt that I would be a flight risk if the economy picked up (he feared I'd get a better offer shortly). I desperately needed employment too. It was heartbreaking because I felt that all the debt I accumulated related to my education, all the years I put into my experience....worked AGAINST me and no for me.

It's my belief that by 2012 there will be a shortage of workers available for important jobs, but until then if you're qualified for anything...consider yourself overqualified.

TheVoid said:

See this is the shit that just makes me want to quit my current shitty job and just start my own business. I'm appalled that after all the time and effort it took for you to apply for the damn job, they called you but didn't even take the little time to LOOK AT IT before you even arrived for the interview. TRIFLING on so many levels and yes that's happened to me in the past year as well. I really, truly understand you 100% when you talk about the all the debt accumulated from me furthering my education. My damn student loan payments kicked in, in October which proved that my current salary is insufficient at the moment. Rediculous. The "overqualifed" term is nothing but bullshit...and a "flight risk"? I'm guessing the position they were trying to fill wasn't something of importance for them, I look at it as being extremely picky. This is why I've started a "side hustle", in other words, I'm taking something that I do as a hobby and turning it into a part time job for profit. If it gets big enough, I'll quit corporate America and take it on full time creating my own business.

You can pick your pets and your friends...sadly, you do not get to pick your family.

MrsMdiver said:

Yeah, been there...

It's time to prioritize. Your goal is to stabilize your life for yourself and your daughter. If you have to distance yourself to accomplish that because the family is putting obstacles in your path, then so be it. Let them know you love them but set firm boundaries on what you will not tolerate.

Sometimes family members use guilt to manipulate and if that's the case, let them know in a calm manner that they have to deal with you on a basis of mutual respect or not at all. It might take awhile for them to adjust but they usually do and hopefully you'll have a better relationship going forward.

Best wishes!

This is why my ass stays away from family simple as that

I can somewhat relate to your situation, my mother and I have not been getting along for the past few months either and it's very hurtful because I love here dearly
Hopefully things will get better for you guys

babynoz said:

That's well said.

missfee said:

Thanks. Conflict with family is tricky.

Much love to you all