Would you ever have a child?

How would you go about doing it?

Do U think you would be a good father?

DO you have a child and what are your experiences?

1 - Not likely. I don't have the drive. Thank God.

2 - If I did, adoption first. Invetro second.

3 - Hell yes.

4 - Somehow I never had kids but ended up with a bunch of kids to help raise. The experience overall has been horrifying but hopefully I helped more than I damaged. The kids came fucked up and now that I'm in school I'm expecting that I can help guide them in a more responsible and loving way. Having to play dad they resented me and I resented them. I'm moving into the natural relationship of uncle/nephew and I expect this to make a difference.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I understand you totally! Having to basically help raise my little brother and sister from birth to seven I understand how sometimes they can look to you as a dad...and you cannot help but to feel that way because you are always with them. I bet people even asked you were they your children right?

You indeed should bring space into the "uncle" role because that will bring so much relief. Those small titles have such HUGE roles in the way children think about what you 'should' be to them.

paisleypark4 said:

No
N/A
Yes
N/A

Would you ever have a child?
I used to say definitely. Now I'd say maybe.

How would you go about doing it?
Adoption only.

Do U think you would be a good father?
Yes.

DO you have a child and what are your experiences?
Fostered. I've posted about it before. The experience was not easy but fantastic. The end broke my heart and crushed my faith in the system.

paisleypark4 said:

absolutely. that was my biggest life goal.


adoption. as a former foster kid, adoption is VERY important to me.


i'd like to think so. I would be the more stay-at-home-shuttle-the-kids parent.



no, sadly, but i have been the surrogate "uncle" to a whole lot of them.

I wouldn't even have a pet goldfish.

Hell naw.



Nope.

Would you ever have a child? i'd like to, someday. just not any time soon.

How would you go about doing it? no idea yet. could be adoption, could be my own biological son.

Do U think you would be a good father? i hope so as it's something i'd like to happen to me.

DO you have a child and what are your experiences? i don't have any, but I've mostly raised my youngest sister. she's a good kid now.

Would you ever have a child? Another one? Absolutely! In a few months, we're gonna start working on another girl, in fact.

How would you go about doing it? Adopt. I've already "been fruitful and multiplied." It's a blessing that I don't take for granted. But so many children already in the world need good parents, and I know they can be an amazing blessing as well.

Do U think you would be a good father? Lawd yes. With flaws, like any other father -- but a darned good one!

Do you have a child and what are your experiences? I've got a daughter who turned 9 just today!! She gets on my last nerve sometimes (and vice versa), but my life is 1000 x fuller for her being around!

Lammastide said:

happy birthday to her

PricelessHo said:

Thanks!

I have a niece, whom I absolutely adore

that´s more than enough form me, thank you

I wonder how much of the desire, drive and need for gay men to have kids stems from the early imprinting of societal expectations.

Would you ever have a child?
Somedays I think I would and other days I don't even wanna think about it. too much hassle but then again if i met the right guy it might be worth it.

How would you go about doing it?
adoption.

Do U think you would be a good father?
probably. (but then again i've never babysat for more than several hours at a time. a 24/7 duty just might kill me.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

i think a lot of miine is from having such a shitty, broken childhood more than societal.

I love that some of you guys want to have kids and I think you guys would make awesome dads.

I have a friend that I would definitely been a surrogate mother for.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Interesting question. I had no such desire, drive or need. I always said I'd be perfectly happy with a cat. My wife had the drive, though, and as I wasn't actively opposed to having a kid, nature just sort of took its course.

Funny thing is, upon my daughter being born, my latent "daddyness" instantly kicked in. There was no effort, no mind over matter, no pretending I was happy involved. I was just suddenly, reflexively on.

Lammastide said:

Awww. I have a 14 year old you can have.

Nope I enjoy being a total selfish SOB that can do anything and go anywhere at a drop of a hat. I'm not restricted by society norms and that's a blessing in my eyes. Plus I have plenty of friends that luckily enough still retain a bit of their child like wonder bout things to feel I'm not missing out on anything.

Vendetta1 said:

The daddyness instinct has its limits.
[Edited 1/27/10 17:45pm]

I've only had one male relationship which would have progressed to that level, and it was a topic of conversation. But after getting to know the person I knew early on that it would be a disaster to have children as I'd end up having to take care of them exclusively.

I haven't actually met any male couples where I would be confident they could raise children.

Please note that this doesn't mean I don't think gays should adopt--just that I haven't personally seen male couples I believed were stable enough nor lived lifestyles that were conducive to brining up children.


Johnart could possibly be in the only man-couple that I would say I think would be great for kids.


.

as far as straight couples, I'd say 30% of the ones I see are fit for raising kids (and that's 30% of the ones who I see with kids already " ).


Live the life you want and the following what ever pursuance of happiness you want, I say. Just don't bring kids into the picture until you've asked yourself who you're doing this for---yourself or them?
[Edited 1/27/10 17:50pm]

TheVoid said:

Name dropping.... pure ploy!



It's never for the kids.

Lammastide said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

You really think that? I think it's never exclusively for the kids, but I know couples -- adoptive couples at least -- who chose to become parents to do some good for a child.
[Edited 1/27/10 17:57pm]

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I don't know that it does.

I knew I wouldn't have children and it wasn't related to my sexuality.

Lammastide said:

Only then but children are either accidents or vanity projects.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I don't necessarily disagree. But, in a sense, that could be said about everything we do. Even supposedly altruistic deeds have an element of self-interest. At an extreme that's contemptible, but there's no doubt some intrinsic value in it.

My personal inclination is to hold off on reproducing again. The world won't suffer from one more mini-Lammastide not being conceived these days. But in more critical times the happenstance/vanity thing, even on an unconscious level, kept the species going... and while I know you're not a blind fan of humankind , certainly our being here isn't altogether an objectively bad thing. I mean, just look at Stanley Tucci.
[Edited 1/27/10 20:55pm]

Lammastide said:

Happy birthday to the lil' Ms.
She's been on my mind today.
[Edited 1/27/10 20:59pm]