Do they hit you up on Facebook?
Those of you who are friends with me on Facebook, you might see a whole bunch of Gascots in my frend's list. I havent met or known a single one.
They are cousins on my father's side. Most in PR. One I almost suspected might be one of my brothers (oh yes, one, my father was quite fertile). He didn't answer when I asked "Exactly how closely are we related? "
How do you feel about this whole estranged relatives finding you thing?
Today I found myself hinting to a cousin, that I'd love to get a picture of my father. This surprised me. I didn't think I gave a fuck. He was never a part of my life, it was just me and my mom (she was the "other woman"). I saw him a handful of times in court over child support, which was always behind. Still I realized recently, that I can't remember his face. I know who my father is, but I don't know what he looks like. I don't think I'd be able to pick him from a crowd.
That's a strange feeling.
I told my cousin, that I'm not after any kind of reunion. That I just hopes he knows what an incredible woman my mom was and what an incredible mother she was and that I am happy and well.

I've said too much. Sorry.

So anyway, Relatives you didn't know...have they hit you up on facebook? And what was that like. Go!

Please dont' be afraid of this thread. I sound weird cus I'm a lil high. It's not a scary thread.

Yeah I hit up a cousin's daughter because her last name was the same as mine. And when I started asking questions about her father (my cousin) she deleted me... I was only trying to see how my cousin was doing because he wasn't on facebook..I guess they don't get along.

I know my mom and some of her cousins are reconnecting with cousins who have been out of contact with them for over 25 years due to a tragedy

Because all my grandmother, great-aunts, and all but 2 of my great-uncles are gone, they want everyone to have a connection

My family is HUGE but I'm aware of all of them. But I have come into contact with people I haven't spoken to in years through Facebook, which is kind of cool.

I have a huge family but I'm really not that col with my dad's side of the family. They are mostly all assholes with everything relationships. I couldnever introduce any of them or be proud of them. That's why I have Facebok privacy on friends only they have to pop me a request and I will decline.

NMuzakNSoul said:

Same with me. I only know 2 of my cousins on my dad's side
Although my parents were married for 18 years and had 3 kids, his side of the family never really tried to have a relationship with us

Honestly I have NO desire to connect with my family none whatsoever.

bboy87 said:

My sister and I have a sister and brother that we've never met on our father's side. We don't know anyone on our father's side {like that} and our father has been dead for some yrs. Also I really like to refer to him as our sperm doner ! I mean, I've met my father's father {he's an asshole, forgive me lord } and my sister and I met his mother when she was in the hospital but none of them cared to keep in touch so why should we give 2 monkey doodle fucks about how these people are doing?! My sister is more enthusiastic about meeting our sister and brother more than I am but I wouldn't mind. I tried to look them up on facebook although I'm not that familiar with thier names and I couldn't find them so fuck it, I went and made some waffles instead.

IAintTheOne said:

This is kind of what I felt. There's a few folk who I genuinely like from our communications on FB (or they find my website and write to me), but others just automatically friend me because they see the name and we never communicate.
I wouldn't mind doing a lunch or something with a couple if I were down visiting PR, but I can't imagine being comfortable at some sort of big family reunion.

KidaDynamite said:

Right I can relate to how you and Jay feel very much so. I just be like oh well. That's just how things are sometimes my grandma on my father's side from what I heard is doing bad physically but I have no desire to even see her after what she has done to my father and her history of doing fucked up things. On the other hand my mom's family is awesome and I'm real cool with them but my dad's side i don't give a flying...

I'm relatively new to Facebook...but I'm thinking of trying to reach "distant" cousins in Honduras. I mean distant as in thousands of miles away (they're actually first cousins).

I dunno, I have a couple un-immediate family members on my Facebook... my information section probably scares them.

Acrylic said:

That's a good point.
Between bantering with dumbass orgers (you know which ones you be) and my Snuggie pics, not to mention the photoshop album (with nekkid bear dude)...it's really quite amazing they still want to reach out to me.
Maybe I need to give them a little credit for that.

I Haven't seen my dad in years and most of the time I don't really care.
Like you, I have pretty much forgotten what he looks like and I sometimes wish I knew what he is like now... just to know... especially since I have children.

I have relatives on his side on facebook but my dad is such a **** that even they don't see him!

KidaDynamite said:

Me too!

I have a half sister but she's fucking mess and I haven't seen her since I was 2 and I don't have a desire to meet her. When my parents were divorcing when I was 9, my brothers and I found out we had another brother in the phillipines but he may have moved to the states so I'm more interested in finding him (I'm trying to get clues out of my dad if he knows anything)

In my 22 years on this earth, I can count on one hand how many times I've met relatives on my dad's side.....5 times

My dad's cousin moved to Virginia when we were living there and he was fuckin annoying

When I was 3 or 4, my dad took my brother and I to Mississippi to visit his family and it was not a pleasant visit. It was the first and last time my dad's parents and siblings have seen me

My dad's aunt and her kids and grandkids came down to VA back in '96 or '97 for the Fourth of July and used our house for a BBQ. Them country muthafuckas can EAT but I didn't attain a connection with any of them

One of my cousins came down to California (2 years after I moved here) when my brother came back for good (he moved to Mississippi with my dad for 9 months) and we're still in contact. Cool guy

When I graduated highschool, my dad's uncle and grandmother called me.....that was one of the most awkward conversations I've ever had in my life!!!


I hate when I hear that the father's side of the family doesn't have a relationship with the children. That's my mom, brother, other relatives and I are making it a point to be involved in my nephew's life

None of that "I don't know my uncle bboy" bullshit, that kid is gonna see me as much as possible

bboy87 said:

interesting family you have.

I found some cousins that I haven't seen since I was three, and one I never have met. Very cool, as I am not from a large family. I have a ton of relatives on my husband's side, so I am blessed with a large and a small family!

All of my dad's brothers are unfaithful and have women on the side multiple women. My worst uncle was/is also physically abuse to his women. I remember hearing them saying staying faithful is for losers or something like that... I wnder why my dad is so different from them...But I'm happy about it.

I'd never introduce any of them, and probably will never see them again since my dad broke all contact with his mother, cause my uncle got physically abusive towards my aunt and she said that's how it is and didn't think it was too bad.

NMuzakNSoul said:

HA! I can beat that

My paternal grandfather has 26 kids, and only 2 have the same mother (my dad and his older sister)

My paternal grandmother and her sisters never got married but all had a gang of kids


It's crazy because my mom's side is the complete opposite

bboy87 said:

damn man.

26 man...my uncles mess around and my uncle did make a baby in thailand but usually they don't knock people up just down...

in common with you is my mom's side though. they way different.

See. . . this is precisely why I'm not REALLY on Facebook. I ain't looking for folks OR trynna be found by NOBODY.

However, it is nice to know that I can do a general Google and find someone I really want to find. A few months ago, I found one of my nieces by Googling and of course she had a Facebook page. I was able to send her a message and got a call in 30 minutes after not communicating in 10 years. So, I'm back in her and her sister's life, and I even have a great nephew.

I mean
[Edited 1/27/10 4:27am]

SCNDLS said:

right i understand thats a positive side and i'm happy for you sis. still though i made sure everything is private even the google search for me.

NMuzakNSoul said:

It's amazing how much of our stuff is out there. A friend from college said she found my unlisted home telephone number by Googling me.

I thought I was pretty incognegro
[Edited 1/27/10 4:38am]

i know thats the scary stuff about the internet man. makes u wanna change numbers every few months.

if u did make a facebook be sure to check out your privacy settings, it can help alot, thats what i had to do.

I've been emailing back and forth with the cousin who contacted me most recent to let me know that a great aunt in the family passed. She's a first cousin (daughter of my father's sister). We never met. I never met her mom. But she knew of me all her life because her mom always told her (and siblings I guess if she has some) of me, that I exsisted. That it didn't matter what the circumstances were (my father being a married man and meeting my mom and their relationship and me being the product of that) because I was family regardless. It's been an interesting thing, this conversation we've been having.
She said just from the pics I have on facebook (a lot) she can tell I look like my father...just lighter skinned. My mom always told me I looked like him.
She said she's going to get me some photos when she returns home (she's in Fl visiting an ill aunt).

I'm kind of excited to see the pics. And kind of nervous, for no real reason.

SCNDLS said:

When my grandma passed away, my mom notified her half sister (my grandfather's daughter) the news. She and some of her kids came to the memorial service and I walked right passed them. My other aunt said "Jay, did you see so and so?"

I was

My maternal grandfather's family is a mystery to me too. I don't have a relationship with them either
That's where I get my west indian heritage from though

just a few days ago i added an aunt on my mom's side of the family to my facebook, i've never met her, but she seems nice, i'm always a little afraid to add any of my mom's family though. because so many of them are kinda nuts...

Well a lot of fam from my momma's side who I haven't seen for a while but speak 2 on MSN.