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Reply #60 posted 01/22/10 11:44am

ButterscotchPi
mp

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tackam said:

Yeah, but I pretty much only meet people online, so I think the culture is a little different. For me, it has been about 50/50, as far as who contacted who.

I enjoy being asked, I guess. But how the first date was initiated is such a small thing compared to how the first date WENT. shrug


I am SOOPER leery about that.
http://www.facebook.com/p...111?ref=ts
y'all gone keep messin' around wit me and turn me back to the old me......
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Reply #61 posted 01/22/10 12:14pm

tackam

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ButterscotchPimp said:

tackam said:

Yeah, but I pretty much only meet people online, so I think the culture is a little different. For me, it has been about 50/50, as far as who contacted who.

I enjoy being asked, I guess. But how the first date was initiated is such a small thing compared to how the first date WENT. shrug


I am SOOPER leery about that.


What, the online thing? Why?
"What's 'non-sequitur' mean? Do I look it up in a Fag-to-English dictionary?"
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Reply #62 posted 01/22/10 12:24pm

DanceWme

I did back in junior high school lol

But I couldn't do it now.
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Reply #63 posted 01/22/10 12:25pm

novabrkr

CarrieMpls said:

I admit, if a guy approaches me while I'm out walking around by myself in public my gut reaction is just "no". "Go away". I have a hard time getting past that. There’s some instinct in me that just HATES being approached like that. I think it’s cause I feel like any guy who hits on women in the street probably chases anything in a skirt. And that’s just so not attractive.


I've done this a few times, but of course it should be limited to those cases where there has been looks and / or smiles exchanged. Initially I just did it a few times in order to try to get over my shyness, but it also lead basically to the best dates of my life.

I admit that It's a rather unusual thing to do over here, though. I just think it's far less questionable or off-putting than picking up drunken women at bars, which is basically the standard way "to meet women" over here. It gets even shadier when you're supposed to be even buying drinks for the woman. I've never understood how that would be considered somehow more normal.
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Reply #64 posted 01/22/10 12:38pm

ButterscotchPi
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tackam said:

ButterscotchPimp said:



I am SOOPER leery about that.


What, the online thing? Why?



Too easy for the other person to be completely deceitful. You show up and YIKES!!!
http://www.facebook.com/p...111?ref=ts
y'all gone keep messin' around wit me and turn me back to the old me......
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Reply #65 posted 01/22/10 12:40pm

DesireeNevermi
nd

peacenlovealways said:

Never did and never will....I think it's more romantic if they do it.


yeahthat
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Reply #66 posted 01/22/10 12:40pm

heartbeatocean

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CarrieMpls said:

I admit, if a guy approaches me while I'm out walking around by myself in public my gut reaction is just "no". "Go away". I have a hard time getting past that. There’s some instinct in me that just HATES being approached like that. I think it’s cause I feel like any guy who hits on women in the street probably chases anything in a skirt. And that’s just so not attractive.


As for the topic, I don’t imagine myself ever asking a guy out in the future. I really do prefer to be pursued. But it’s sooooo difficult. lol I think the only reason I’ve had to sorta make the first move in the past is guys can’t tell if I’m interested or not. I’m positively terrible at flirting. It just doesn’t come naturally to me. And I’m unbearably shy to boot.


On the one hand, I feel like I'm going to start asking guys out more, because I don't care so much anymore if they say no. It's not like I have anything to lose and I don't have many expectations either. Whatever!!! (although I only seem to be able to do it through email, which is probably kind of dumb -- but then again, it gives them space and time to respond, or not respond, which I think makes it easier on both parties than being confronted in person)

On the other hand, I really need to know if a guy likes me and if he's serious, and that dynamic only seems to come about when they are pursuing me and taking the risk to ASK ME OUT. Those are the only relationships that have worked for me for any amount of time. Probably because the guys I naturally fall for, to the extent that I would ask them out, are a-holes.

biggrin
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Reply #67 posted 01/22/10 12:50pm

tackam

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ButterscotchPimp said:

tackam said:



What, the online thing? Why?



Too easy for the other person to be completely deceitful. You show up and YIKES!!!


I've never had that experience. I don't see why a person would go through the trouble.

I guess I always figure that a bad date won't kill me, so if I don't like them in person, who cares? Still way better than the crapshoot of hanging out in bars or whatever. shrug
"What's 'non-sequitur' mean? Do I look it up in a Fag-to-English dictionary?"
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Reply #68 posted 01/22/10 1:18pm

sammij

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sextonseven said:

sammij said:


falloff you're such a liar. you clearly don't see how women look at you lol


Thanks lol but women confuse me. What I think is a look usually turns out to be just something caught in their eye. confused

falloff
you lie AND you're funny, dangerous combination no no no!
...the little artist that could...
[...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...]
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Reply #69 posted 01/22/10 1:41pm

RenHoek

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moderator

thejason said:

RenHoek said:

my wife proposed to me... does that count? boxed

what did you say??? biggrin


yesh dearesht!! hic!!

drink

lol


.
[Edited 1/22/10 13:41pm]
A working class Hero is something to be ~ Lennon
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Reply #70 posted 01/22/10 1:44pm

CalhounSq

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I've given a guy my #, asked another to a show. But I'm shy so it took guts to do both & neither turned out to be worth the effort lol

sigh
heart prince I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it prince heart
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Reply #71 posted 01/22/10 1:52pm

SHOCKADELICA1

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Well, since chivalry is DEAD now, we gals have no choice but 2 ask a guy out, if we ever wanna go out. More and more of my guy friends say they wish a woman would pursue them for a change...blah, blah, blah....so it is what it is.
"Bring friends, bring your children and bring foot spray 'cause it's gon' be funky." ~ Prince

A kiss on the lips, is betta than a knife in the back ~ Sheila E

Darkness isn't the absence of light, it's the absence of U ~ Prince
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Reply #72 posted 01/22/10 1:57pm

RenHoek

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SHOCKADELICA1 said:

Well, since chivalry is DEAD now, we gals have no choice but 2 ask a guy out, if we ever wanna go out. More and more of my guy friends say they wish a woman would pursue them for a change...blah, blah, blah....so it is what it is.


Chivalry is far from dead... hmph!

it's just harder to find...
A working class Hero is something to be ~ Lennon
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Reply #73 posted 01/22/10 2:02pm

uPtoWnNY

SHOCKADELICA1 said:

More and more of my guy friends say they wish a woman would pursue them for a change...


So, what's wrong with that? Aren't we all equal?
[Edited 1/22/10 14:03pm]
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Reply #74 posted 01/22/10 2:07pm

thekidsgirl

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I'm far too shy to ask a guy out, but I don't mind suggesting that he ask me out...

Example:

"Ohh, you like that band? I love them! If you are ever going to see them or something, you should let me know...Maybe I could go with you or something, so you won't have to go alone..."


That's about as bold as I get neutral
If you will, so will I
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Reply #75 posted 01/22/10 2:23pm

sammij

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thekidsgirl said:

I'm far too shy to ask a guy out, but I don't mind suggesting that he ask me out...

Example:

"Ohh, you like that band? I love them! If you are ever going to see them or something, you should let me know...Maybe I could go with you or something, so you won't have to go alone..."


That's about as bold as I get neutral

Girrrrrl... once you develop constant boldness - you'll be SO fuckin dangerous. disbelief
...the little artist that could...
[...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...]
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Reply #76 posted 01/22/10 3:30pm

SHOCKADELICA1

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uPtoWnNY said:

SHOCKADELICA1 said:

More and more of my guy friends say they wish a woman would pursue them for a change...


So, what's wrong with that? Aren't we all equal?
[Edited 1/22/10 14:03pm]


Nope! lol
"Bring friends, bring your children and bring foot spray 'cause it's gon' be funky." ~ Prince

A kiss on the lips, is betta than a knife in the back ~ Sheila E

Darkness isn't the absence of light, it's the absence of U ~ Prince
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Reply #77 posted 01/22/10 4:37pm

thekidsgirl

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sammij said:

thekidsgirl said:

I'm far too shy to ask a guy out, but I don't mind suggesting that he ask me out...

Example:

"Ohh, you like that band? I love them! If you are ever going to see them or something, you should let me know...Maybe I could go with you or something, so you won't have to go alone..."


That's about as bold as I get neutral

Girrrrrl... once you develop constant boldness - you'll be SO fuckin dangerous. disbelief



Thanks muffin! smile
I like your confidence a lot. Send me some of that so we can be dangerous together!
If you will, so will I
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Reply #78 posted 01/22/10 4:44pm

ZombieKitten

sextonseven said:

sammij said:


falloff you're such a liar. you clearly don't see how women look at you lol


Thanks lol but women confuse me. What I think is a look usually turns out to be just something caught in their eye. confused


falloff omg

fishslap
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Reply #79 posted 01/22/10 4:58pm

jone70

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ButterscotchPimp said:

jone70 said:



Maybe try a different venue where people aren't likely to go in groups. Volunteer somewhere or join an organization. NY Cares is great for volunteering -- they have all different types of opportunities and you never know who you may meet. If you play sports you could join Urban Professionals or NY Sports and Social maybe.


thank you very much for the suggestions!!!


You're welcome. I also just had another thought: if you were in a fraternity or went to college you might look around to see if those have local alumni chapters. Both of my alma maters organize events in NYC; especially the one that is located in New York.
The check. The string he dropped. The Mona Lisa. The musical notes taken out of a hat. The glass. The toy shotgun painting. The things he found. Therefore, everything seen–every object, that is, plus the process of looking at it–is a Duchamp.
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Reply #80 posted 01/22/10 6:05pm

sammij

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thekidsgirl said:

sammij said:


Girrrrrl... once you develop constant boldness - you'll be SO fuckin dangerous. disbelief



Thanks muffin! smile
I like your confidence a lot. Send me some of that so we can be dangerous together!

But of course batting eyes
Though, I was certain some rubbed off on you when we booby-kissed at the bar that one night... lurking
...the little artist that could...
[...i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...]
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Reply #81 posted 01/22/10 6:09pm

drgnfly

shrug would never EVER ask a man out!
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Reply #82 posted 01/22/10 10:34pm

heartbeatocean

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sextonseven said:

sammij said:


falloff you're such a liar. you clearly don't see how women look at you lol


Thanks lol but women confuse me. What I think is a look usually turns out to be just something caught in their eye. confused



Hey Sexton, I think I might be coming to NYC this spring. Wanna see American Idiot the Musical with me?

batting eyes
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Reply #83 posted 01/23/10 2:43am

evenstar3

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Fauxie said:

evenstar3 said:

I did tonight! lol He said yes mr.green Though to be fair, he asked me out first initially & we've been out a couple times, but otherwise he seems too shy to make a move...so I'm gonna get over my own crippling shyness and go for it this weekend yay!

I have asked out people on first dates in the past, some like it, some don't. shrug


thumbs up!

Crippling shyness... lol I know all about that. So glad I don't need to work on overcoming that anymore.


The funny thing is that it's just with him, for whatever reason. I don't get as nervous/shy with anyone else! disbelief
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Reply #84 posted 01/23/10 12:24pm

sextonseven

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heartbeatocean said:

sextonseven said:



Thanks lol but women confuse me. What I think is a look usually turns out to be just something caught in their eye. confused



Hey Sexton, I think I might be coming to NYC this spring. Wanna see American Idiot the Musical with me?

batting eyes


I would love to! biggrin
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Reply #85 posted 01/23/10 4:42pm

heartbeatocean

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sextonseven said:

heartbeatocean said:




Hey Sexton, I think I might be coming to NYC this spring. Wanna see American Idiot the Musical with me?

batting eyes


I would love to! biggrin


not rejected! woot! I have a trip to LA in the works, and then NYC...
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Reply #86 posted 01/23/10 6:32pm

luvisuniversal

In theory I would love to ask a guy out. I think its a bold move. But I am terribly shy when it comes to guys so he would probably have to ask me out. However, since I have never been on a date, maybe its time for a new approach smile

Any guys wanna go out on a date? lol


I mean, asking a guy out on the internet is a step, right?
LUVISUNIVERSAL
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Reply #87 posted 01/23/10 6:43pm

sextonseven

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heartbeatocean said:

sextonseven said:



I would love to! biggrin


not rejected! woot! I have a trip to LA in the works, and then NYC...


Of course I wouldn't reject you! hug We have to go to the Film Forum when you're here. Or the IFC center. nod
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Reply #88 posted 01/23/10 7:34pm

Acrylic

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I posted my response earlier, but in reading some responses, I had a thought - I don't think I've ever said "I love you" first either. hmmm
batting eyes ACRYLIC batting eyes
I do nothing professionally.
I only do things for fun.

johnart: Acrylic's old bras is where tits of all sizes go to frolic after they die. Tit Heaven.
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Reply #89 posted 01/23/10 8:34pm

heartbeatocean

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evenstar3 said:

Fauxie said:



thumbs up!

Crippling shyness... lol I know all about that. So glad I don't need to work on overcoming that anymore.


The funny thing is that it's just with him, for whatever reason. I don't get as nervous/shy with anyone else! disbelief


THAT is a sign you really like the person. nod
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