Yes? No? Are they always a disaster to attempt?

It depends on the 2 people involved I think. If you know that you could not keep your business and personal relationships separate, I'd say a definite 'no'.

For me, I would not want to pursue something with a coworker now that I'm in my career-job.

99% of the time it's a DISASTER.

Trust me.

PunkMistress said:

You are 100% correct!

Ive heard stories of them working out but I have only witnessed the ones that go bad and I personally don't feel like its something worth trying

thekidsgirl said:

true, if you're both nondramatic people who can be discrete i think it improves the odds.

evenstar3 said:

Even discreet, intelligent, nondramatic people can develop feelings that they didn't see coming.

I dated a coworker once upon a time. Actually, I have more than once.

Both times it didn't work out (clearly) and it was no big deal.

A handful of people I work with have married other people they work with.

I really think it depends on the people involved. Some people can handle it, some people can't.

PunkMistress said:

one of my friends at work has been seeing a man who's separated from his wife. he trained her for her position, and his desk is RIGHT by hers. he's now back with his wife, and literally no one has any idea they had a relationship but me. it's trippy. i don't know why she made the decision, but so far there haven't been any negative repercussions for her at work...it's just strange.

I think very bad idea. If it doesn't work out then you're stuck seeing the person everyday.

At one of my previous jobs there was a work couple who had been dating/working together for like, 7 years. They eventually got married. The entire company was all . Then the husband had an affair with someone else, and the wife found out, and it was divorce city. They both still work at this company (and are both upper management); but it was really uncomfortable -- even for co-workers. I was closer to the girl, but got along with the guy; but she was pissed (obviously) at him so it felt awkward if you were in the elevator with both of them, or you were talking to one and then the other walked in/by.

Don't fish off the company pier.

RodeoSchro said:

Agreed!

PunkMistress said:

That's very true. And it would probably feel very uncomfortable to work in the same company with them on a daily basis. They could even skewer your job or career. Not a good idea if things go sour. Eventually both of you or one of you will leave your job.

It's an unwritten taboo of office politics.

And if you can hide it in the office, forget it. People know.

Although I used to know of a couple (former friends) that kept their office romance a secret and eventually came out with it and eventually got married, Dunno if they are still married.

Some jobs actually have a clause prohibiting office dating and relationships, but even if there isn't a clause, I don't think it's the best thing. I've seen both sides where couples went on to wed, and others when couples broke up and one was bitter when the other starting sleeping with other office employees. So, it depends on the maturity level of the persons involved.

evenstar3 said:

Alej said:

don't get your honey where you make your money

evenstar3 said:

No one at work interests me enough, but I wouldn't want a relationship with a co-worker regardless. Seems like I spend 90% of my time there.....why would I wanna see them outside of work. That's why I cringe when some co-workers asks if I wanna go to a bar w/ them after work. Maybe it's just my co-workers though. [i]

PunkMistress said:[quote]

evenstar3 said:

True. I dated a really good friend/co-worker this past summer and it ended terribly and now there's nothing but tension and awkwardness when we talk. It feels like our "friendship" is a series of formalities we go through at work more than anything. We don't hate each other or anything like that, it's just normally pretty weird whenever we interact now, and even attempts at normal conversation feel forced. And both of us were generally considered discreet and non-dramatic 9and occasionally intelligent) by those around us, but the fallout afterward was anything but that.

FauxReal said:

I really think you should change your avatar to this one.

JustErin said:

Why is that?

FauxReal said:

Oh, no reason...

Ok.

FauxReal said:

So, you gonna do it?

JustErin said:

I think it's a brilliant idea...

JustErin said:

That was an ok toward your reply, not so much toward the request, lol. Not that I am against it, just hesitant to do so when I don't know why you requested it...

thejason said:

It is, isn't it?

FauxReal said:[quote]

PunkMistress said:

That's what I'd be afraid of. But what if your workplace is large enough that you never have to see the other person or interact with them afterwards?

Oh, and I think you should change your avatar to the kitten picture too.
[Edited 1/24/10 20:45pm]

evenstar3 said:

My workplace is large enough to not worry about constantly running into the person, fortunately. We work in different offices. But for whatever reason, I guess there's this idea (in my situation at least) that knowing we're both at work in the same building at the same time, we're supposed to be all civil and friendly and talk from time to time, though if we stopped talking altogether, we wouldn't really have to interact with one another at all. Anyhow, I'm rambling and don't really have a point right now.

There is no way in hell I would do it.


EVER. I mean, EVER...


E-V-E-R.

Of course I said the same thing about dating someone
I met online, but did any way. I should have heeded
my own fucking advice.



Hell naw.