was abusive and hurtful..how would you know what it is liked to be touched??

Introspection

yeah, but how would a person know ??? or are you saying thats a personal journey??


more than that i guess i'm trying to figure whats good for myself.
[Edited 1/17/10 6:10am]

therapy. lots of therapy.

I can only speak from what I experienced and lived. However self-assesment sounds like the best part of personal development. I know it takes an iron will to overcome, but still, I don't know any other way.


And being supported by trustful people you can rely on helps al lot, of course.

It's crazy, but then flip it around. Let's say you grew up in a loving, wonderful situation....how would you know abuse?

There is so much to learn every day, good and bad, and then deciding every day how is it going to affect you., are you going to change, do you want good things for yourself, do you love yourself?

My biggest issue in life has been dealing with other people and the (forgive my lack of PC word) retardness that we do. Whether you believe in the Bible or not, let's take the story of Adam and Eve They had it all. Life was beyond good! All that was asked of them was to leave one little tree alone. Sounds simple enough, right. But they couldn't do it.

Well, you know what. Life could still have been really good. Human beings could have used their brains and figured out how to make it garden-like again. Do you really believe people should be suffering and starving and living in fear from being robbed and murdered or treated badly. But yet we still act like it's so complicated. We cause a lot of our own suffering with our own actions. And then we don't want to accept the consequences.

Imagine a world where everyone treated each other with basic love and respect. Life would be good. If you saw someone starving, you would give them some bread because it was the right thing to do. You don't have to believe in the Bible, but a lot of what is said is just plain common sense and decency. You shouldn't disrespect people by lying. You shouldn't steal. You should want to help a person in need. You should not be greedy, or evil, or selfish.

Sorry....I got all tangenty because I was just explaining this to the kid for the umpteenth time. Yesterday I gave him breakfast and left him as I usually do to eat his meal and do what he is supposed to. Instead, he decided to play with the telephone (which actually isn't mine) and then lie, and then tried to run from the inevitable consequences. He is 9. I have cameras set up in my own home to watch him all the time to make sure he is doing right. Life shouldn't be so miserable but since he refuses to think or to do what is right, we have to go through this same shit every day. It's awful. I can't let him play outside by himself because I truly know he would go run in the street. I can't trust him by himself. I can't believe a word that comes out his mouth. I'm scared that when he is grown he will end up in jail or a mental institution All because he cannot understand about love or respect. I know it's a mental issue he has, but it's still very painful to watch a person not want to do right by themselves.

Life will be good if you not only love and respect others but also love abd respect yourself. So if you want love and you want to be touched, then yes you have to work on yourself personally to know what it is you want from life. Do you want to stay miserable or do you want to be happy. Are you going to let other people who do wrong hold you back from your own happiness. When you are young it is hard, because you can't get away, but now you are grown. It's not easy at all to get your mind right (Lord knows how I struggle) but the rewards would be so worth it if you can do it. I can't trust him to not lie or steal. I have to check his pockets every day.
Stay strong!

I know it's a mental issue he has, but it's still very painful to watch a person not want to do right by themselves.

scary sad but true Babe..self-love is important and a lack thereof would probably cause problems, we otherwise could use the time to do more enjoyable things...







j/k .. ..i trust the truth, good or bad. if a person is being truthful, then they are a truthful person and so on, until proven otherwise. i trust the org for truth, most times, good or bad, so much so to where i'm addressing some thoughts right now.

i have heard before, that i dont feel others, or i'm cold, or i dont help out, bitchy, bossy, etc, so i'm just trying to relate to where that comes from. sometimes my own children dont want me to touch them, but then they get in a position where they need to be touched. :confused: .. Either way, i lack that ability and i haven't been afforded much since. My heart belongs to them, and i care for them deeply, greatly, but, i dont love them. ..aint that crazy???

BklynBabe said:

I heard similar facts about autistic and hyperactive kids, maybe a therapist could help...

MarySharon said:

we do all of that. medicines, counseling, self help....everyone tries with him. trust!

at the same token, you cannot help those who don't want to help themselves...

you can't make people love themselves, although for some reason it is easy to make people hate themselves...

BklynBabe said:

I can relate, believe me

My mum suffers from personality disorders, we took her to a mental institution against her own will cuz the doctors said so and agreed. She's been like "what am I doing here?" all the time and still considers we stabbered her in the back.

myfavorite said:

I get like that a lot too but I'm all antisocial disorderly and whatnot, plus I just get easily irritated by people. but I'm trying to maintain...
[Edited 1/17/10 9:56am]

I'm dogmatic about some things, because when stuff just doesn't make sense to me..I COULD DIE! ... (it feels that way, anyway)

but about your son, babe, it would really be hard to say unless a professional saw you guys in action. i often wished i was a life coach. i used to be able to assess family damages and help them make corrections.