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Reply #30 posted 01/16/10 2:22pm

Cinnie

garganta said:

Efan said:

I'm gonna be a contrarian and say go for the hot sex. Rock that boat for as long as you can.

Love is overrated. Love will mess you up worse than anything. Love oughtta come with a warning label. And when you're in love, you have to do all kinds of degrading stuff, like put up with his stupid friends and family and go see movies that are just plain awful. Love'll make you sit through Transformers 2. Good sex will put a bounce in your step, a smile on your face, and make you look 10 years younger. Best of all, good sex goes home and lets you sleep nice and comfy in your bed, all relaxed and peaced out.


that was a genius reply and i would love to agree with it. right now i think i do nod


I have to admit, Efan's post was the tipping point.
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Reply #31 posted 01/17/10 11:26pm

PoorGoo813

avatar

I say keep 'em both.
When love pops up on either hand, then U'll know.

That fact that you are with both men should be a hint that there is, most likely, no love for the possible love guy.
[Edited 1/18/10 0:08am]
Peace&BeWild
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Reply #32 posted 01/17/10 11:50pm

JustErin

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Keep both until something better comes along.
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Reply #33 posted 01/17/10 11:55pm

CHIC0

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neither.
heart
LOVE
♪♫♪♫

♣¤═══¤۩۞۩ஜ۩ஜ۩۞۩¤═══¤♣
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Reply #34 posted 01/18/10 12:25am

DesireeNevermi
nd

gabeez said:

Having trouble deciding between possible love with one man and some damn (I mean damn) good sex with another.

The possible love, is great in all other areas, but the sex is so so. However, there is potential there for something great and sex can always get better when you get comfortable enough to ask/tell someone how to please you.

The damn good sex, well - i don't sleep around much, but i'm not exactly an amatuer, and this man is really gifted. It's not likely that true or even a lasting relationship will develop because outside of the bedroom, not much of a connection.

How do you leave some damn good sex like that? How do you walk away from possible love? How do you decide!!!???

Don't judge me either, i practice safe sex and have not talked about "exclusive relationship" with either.


.



have either expressed the desire to be with you exclusively? if they aint steppin' up then keep doing what ur doing. right now you don't owe either a damn thang. happy new year!
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Reply #35 posted 01/18/10 2:06am

ZombieKitten

irrisistableB said:

go with love You can teach him what you want done and how you like it. Also the passion is best if there is love.

but don't leave it too far down the track hammer teach him NOW
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Reply #36 posted 01/18/10 5:10am

minneapolisgen
ius

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Keep both of them. smile
"I saw a woman with major Hammer pants on the subway a few weeks ago and totally thought of you." - sextonseven
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Reply #37 posted 01/18/10 7:26am

wishingonastar

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Follow your heart and the sex will follow.

When my husband and I were first dating the sex was overwhelmingly blah but everything else was so great between us I decided to keep him around and give it a chance. Once we fell in love and really opened up to each other, hot damn did the sex get AMAZING! Even after all these years and with two kids it's out of this world!

If he cares about you he'll want to please you. Take full advantage of that and teach, teach, teach!
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Reply #38 posted 01/18/10 7:34am

vivid

Depends what you want at this particular moment in time. Are you looking for love or hot sex? What are you 'up' for?

And surely at this early stage, a little bit of overlap is to be expected. boxed
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Reply #39 posted 01/18/10 7:41am

ThreadCula

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Get rid of both of em and start fresh shrug
"Nobody makes me bleed my own blood...NOBODY!"
johnart says: "I'm THE shit"
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Reply #40 posted 01/18/10 7:48am

Giovanni777

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Acrylic said:

Go with the love... always go with the love. And if the sex is so-so, teach them. nod


Well put, and good advice! The sex can get better with the guy U have feelings 4, once the floodgates R open, and U both develop in love.

The guy that is "amazing" might just be skilled right out of the box, so 2 speak. His skills may fade, whereas the other guy might need more time 2 learn, and please U.

I've been with Women that were amazing right from the start, and some that weren't, but ended up being incredible, because they had the DESIRE 2 please, which both partners must have 4 longevity. Personally, I mold my skills 2 the specific woman I'm with, and I have a passion 2 please, so I love the process of discovery, giving, and learning.


.
[Edited 1/18/10 7:56am]
"He's a musician's musician..."
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Reply #41 posted 01/18/10 11:51am

JustErin

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Giovanni777 said:

Acrylic said:

Go with the love... always go with the love. And if the sex is so-so, teach them. nod


Well put, and good advice! The sex can get better with the guy U have feelings 4, once the floodgates R open, and U both develop in love.

The guy that is "amazing" might just be skilled right out of the box, so 2 speak. His skills may fade, whereas the other guy might need more time 2 learn, and please U.

I've been with Women that were amazing right from the start, and some that weren't, but ended up being incredible, because they had the DESIRE 2 please, which both partners must have 4 longevity. Personally, I mold my skills 2 the specific woman I'm with, and I have a passion 2 please, so I love the process of discovery, giving, and learning.


.
[Edited 1/18/10 7:56am]


Maybe, but sometimes the sexual chemistry is just not right no matter how much you wanna please. Love can't make that better.
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Reply #42 posted 01/18/10 12:27pm

evenstar3

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JustErin said:

Giovanni777 said:



Well put, and good advice! The sex can get better with the guy U have feelings 4, once the floodgates R open, and U both develop in love.

The guy that is "amazing" might just be skilled right out of the box, so 2 speak. His skills may fade, whereas the other guy might need more time 2 learn, and please U.

I've been with Women that were amazing right from the start, and some that weren't, but ended up being incredible, because they had the DESIRE 2 please, which both partners must have 4 longevity. Personally, I mold my skills 2 the specific woman I'm with, and I have a passion 2 please, so I love the process of discovery, giving, and learning.


.
[Edited 1/18/10 7:56am]


Maybe, but sometimes the sexual chemistry is just not right no matter how much you wanna please. Love can't make that better.


agreed- and to me, the risk would be that now you're in a messy, complicated situation with someone who's never gonna satisfy you. confused i'd rather cut it off early.
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Reply #43 posted 01/18/10 12:57pm

MacDaddy

Genesia said:

It is possible to have both, you know. With the same person, even.
[Edited 1/16/10 7:09am]


Hell yes! nod
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Reply #44 posted 01/18/10 2:16pm

Tremolina

The best is good sex with somebody you have good love with.

I wonder, do you really love that other man or does he simply have many good things going for him except the sex?

If you respect him, you have to ask yourself if you really love him and would be willing to sacrifice the great sex with the other one for. If you hesitate answering that you probably don't love him enough. Then you should not stay with him and hurt him but leave him.

=
[Edited 1/18/10 14:17pm]
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Reply #45 posted 01/18/10 2:50pm

gabeez

avatar

Tremolina said:

The best is good sex with somebody you have good love with.

I wonder, do you really love that other man or does he simply have many good things going for him except the sex?

If you respect him, you have to ask yourself if you really love him and would be willing to sacrifice the great sex with the other one for. If you hesitate answering that you probably don't love him enough. Then you should not stay with him and hurt him but leave him.

=
[Edited 1/18/10 14:17pm]



**thanks for the feedback, sometimes you really are to close to the forrest...

anyway, i'm not in love, but i feel like my feeling are growing and so it is possible, too soon to tell. I'm usually a one man at a time woman, and its difficult to handle the two given my busy schedule. I've tried to let the goodsex go, but he is so so charming and i end up giving in to his invites.

The possible love guy has not mentioned anything about being exclusive, he seems to be very rational and would probably not do so until things progressed a bit more.

I hate lying about where i am, but don't want to say where i was when he asks, so i lie. One will have to end soon, def leaning towards the potential for love, because that is what i ultimately want, the real thing, but i'm 35 and it is hard to find a man who knows what he's doing. Anyone who says different, is lying.

yikes, sorry for the babble!!!
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Reply #46 posted 01/18/10 3:40pm

ZombieKitten

if you have to ask us, then neither is for you nod
if you truly loved the one, you wouldn't be fucking the other
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Reply #47 posted 01/18/10 7:31pm

nyse

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love
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Reply #48 posted 01/18/10 8:23pm

Cinnie

minneapolisgenius said:

Keep both of them. smile

smile
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Reply #49 posted 01/18/10 8:28pm

tackam

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Wait. Hang on to both for now. Something will change with one of them to make it more clear eventually.
"What's 'non-sequitur' mean? Do I look it up in a Fag-to-English dictionary?"
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Reply #50 posted 01/21/10 12:05pm

gabeez

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ZombieKitten said:

if you have to ask us, then neither is for you nod
if you truly loved the one, you wouldn't be fucking the other


If you can't take the time to read the entire origianl post, you shouldn't bother to respond - I never said I loved either, i said possible (read title) like there is some rule book on relationships...

.
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Reply #51 posted 01/21/10 12:21pm

novabrkr

Bad, bad, zombiekitten. sad
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Reply #52 posted 01/21/10 12:23pm

ThrillUorKillU

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Sorry but fucking two guys at the same time is just dirty as hell to me. imo
"Don't make me chase u, even doves have pride.."
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Reply #53 posted 01/21/10 3:59pm

ZombieKitten

novabrkr said:

Bad, bad, zombiekitten. sad

falloff falloff
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Reply #54 posted 01/21/10 3:59pm

ZombieKitten

gabeez said:

ZombieKitten said:

if you have to ask us, then neither is for you nod
if you truly loved the one, you wouldn't be fucking the other


If you can't take the time to read the entire origianl post, you shouldn't bother to respond - I never said I loved either, i said possible (read title) like there is some rule book on relationships...

.


OK biggrin
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Reply #55 posted 01/23/10 9:19am

chocolate1

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gabeez said:

ZombieKitten said:

if you have to ask us, then neither is for you nod
if you truly loved the one, you wouldn't be fucking the other


If you can't take the time to read the entire origianl post, you shouldn't bother to respond - I never said I loved either, i said possible (read title) like there is some rule book on relationships...

.



I went back and read the "original post", I then read ZK's post...

Of all the responses you got, why did you single ZK out?
I don't think what ZK said was so wrong. Yes, she said, "truly love"- semantics. But the truth is, if you're thinking about "possibly loving" one, how can you concentrate on cultivating it if you don't want to give up the "good sex"?

You asked not to be judged, but like ZK said, you asked us...

"Love Hurts.
Your lies, they cut me.
Now your words don't mean a thing.
I don't give a damn if you ever loved me..."

-Cher, "Woman's World"
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Reply #56 posted 01/23/10 9:24am

Dave1992

Acrylic said:

Go with the love... always go with the love. And if the sex is so-so, teach them. nod


nod
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Reply #57 posted 01/23/10 9:25am

Dave1992

ThrillUorKillU said:

Sorry but fucking two guys at the same time is just dirty as hell to me. imo


hmph!
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Reply #58 posted 01/23/10 9:25am

PurpleRighteou
s1

avatar

gabeez said:

ZombieKitten said:

if you have to ask us, then neither is for you nod
if you truly loved the one, you wouldn't be fucking the other


If you can't take the time to read the entire origianl post, you shouldn't bother to respond - I never said I loved either, i said possible (read title) like there is some rule book on relationships...

.

confused What's with the backlash. That sounded like good advice to me. shrug And why did you choose her response to get mad at out all these answers?
I graduated bitches!!! 12-19-09 woot! dancing jig
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Reply #59 posted 01/23/10 9:26am

chocolate1

avatar

PurpleRighteous1 said:

gabeez said:



If you can't take the time to read the entire origianl post, you shouldn't bother to respond - I never said I loved either, i said possible (read title) like there is some rule book on relationships...

.

confused What's with the backlash. That sounded like good advice to me. shrug And why did you choose her response to get mad at out all these answers?



That's what I said! nod

"Love Hurts.
Your lies, they cut me.
Now your words don't mean a thing.
I don't give a damn if you ever loved me..."

-Cher, "Woman's World"
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