I'm writing this in response to another thread from an Orger with a huge hangover. I read the mistakes that were made, and figured that my lifetime experience with the alcoholic sciences could be utilized by my fellow Orgers.

Here's the deal.
I'm a professional drinker. Not to be confused with a drunk. Those guys are amateurs.

So to prevent getting horrible hangovers and unnecessary vomiting, there's a few rules you should abide by.

First, there's a poem you should memorize.
Beer before liquor, you'll never be sicker.
Liquor before beer, you're in the clear.
And wine, is NEVER FINE.


You NEVER break those rules.
Wine doesn't mix with ANYTHING.
So if you're drinking wine, and you have more than a glass? Then you should be drinking wine for the rest of the night. You mix it with anything else, and you're going to feel like lukewarm dogshit the next day.

So generally, if you abide by the poem you'll be alright.
Now, that's not to say that even if you stick with one genre and you drink enough you're still going to be fucked up. So there's some other tricks of the trade.

Usually, you stick with the date that brought ya. In other words, if you're drinking whiskey at the beginning of the night? Stay with whiskey. If you start off with whiskey and go light, say with vodka?

Ditto the other way around. Light with light liquors, and dark with dark liquors.

If you know you're going to be drinking a LOT, order weak mixed drinks. TELL THE BARTENDER to make them weak. You'll still get drunk eventually, but you'll be happier in the morning.

Try to mix in a glass of water between drinks.

NOW.

Let's say, despite all your best efforts and my amazing advice that you're wasted. there's a couple of things you need to do.

So you haven't passed out yet. DRINK AS MUCH WATER AS YOU CAN STAND. It will help you flush out the alcohol.

DO NOT CLOSE YOUR EYES!!!!! I know you're tired, but if you close your eyes at this stage, you're going to get the spins, AND PUKE. So whatever you have to do to keep your eyes open, DO IT. Play video games, go for a walk, get your sex on, whatever. JUST KEEP THEM EYES OPEN.


Now, the next morning. DO NOT CHUG A TON OF WATER!!!!! I've seen a bunch of people suggest that, and it is WRONG. Here is why.

If you've managed to pass out and get some sleep, your stomach has absorbed and processed as much of the alcohol it can. You send it a bunch of water right now, and it's going to lift it out of the lining of your stomach and back into the mix. In other words, you're going to feel like ass, probably re-acquire a buzz and feel worse than you did before you drank the water.

So you're thirsty. I get it. Here are your friends.
#1) and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND it, Urban Detox by Function Drinks. You can get it at Target and Whole Foods and some other health food stores. It comes in two flavors, Citrus Prickly Pear and Goji Berry. Both are good, and work. Chug one of those and you will be feeling amazingly better in about an hour.

#2) Gatorade. You quench your thirst, and get some electrolytes back in your system.

#3) VitaminWater by Glaceau. See #2. Ditto.

Don't eat, if thinking about food makes you feel queasy.
If you can watch food commercials and feel hungry? EAT A BIG ASS BREAKFAST. Greasy and carb-loaded, will help soak up a ton of the booze.

So there you go. Advice from a professional drinker.
Use it wisely.
[Edited 1/10/10 15:24pm]

+1

well written and all very good advice...

thank you for sharing!

*copy, paste, print*


Thank you.

You could have posted this a few weeks ago
I woke up with the worst hangover after the work Christmas Party.

But that's what I say to women at the bar: "We can go over to my place, although I really don't have anything else than wine there". Who knows what they've been drinking before that? Is this morally questionable?

Good info and very well written BUT ....36 dollars for that Urban Detox drink? Are they serious? And the bottle doesn´t even look big.

I´m shocked!
Here´s the link for those who want to know:

https://www.functiondrink...t=1&page=1


Do you work for them?

chocolatehandles said:

Ugh. I'm sorry. You're right. I should've posted this for the holidays but I didn't think of it until now.

However, believe me i've broken my own rules a few times and paid for it.

novabrkr said:

maybe a little. but I ain't mad at ya.

KoolEaze said:

$36 is for a case.
You can buy it by the bottle at the places i mentioned above and it's usually around $1.25 a bottle or so. Target tends to have sales on them all the time.

ButterscotchPimp said:

okay then