This is a silly, slightly sad, and sweet story, laced with a little dose of sheer horror. I will attempt to combine these emotions briefly so as not to tax your delicate sensibilities....

Sorry if the writing isn't that good, but this is just a stream of thought--a mind dump...


For the past 3 weeks, I've been smitten with this chinese guy that works in the restaurant next to my residence. It's not anything that will lead to something substantial. Hell, I doubt it will even lead to a quick 'hookup'. He is obviously straight--his mannerisms, his 'style', his voice, and all other gaydar indications simply don't amount to even a blip.

However, it would be a lie to say that he doesn't notice me, and that he doesn't smile at me in a peculiar not-so-straight kind of way. After his shift ends (at 9 PM) he comes down to the basketball quart in front of my residence and plays a few rounds of hoops. No matter which side of the court I sit on (and I've deliberately sat on both at random), he will chose my side, and play in front of me. It's quite cute. He's obviously showing off to me--and I'm not just projecting my own thoughts and desires.

Normally, I've ignored socalled 'straights' who are bicurious, because they tend to be alpha-males and I loathe alpha-male types. Also, I'm not 100% capable of resolving my own sexual preference cunundrums to have to deal with someone else's. But this time, it's a little different. I'm absolutely fascinated by this young man. I'll stare at his him when he's playing--he's very beautiful. He's built nicely, if a bit slight, and his skin is a nice, pale, yellowish-white contrasted against coal black eyebrows, eyes, and hair. Delicious.

It's a silly school-boy crush. But one that I haven't had in a long time. I've been in a state of sexual auto-pilot mixed with long periods of self-imposed abstinance lately. Wether I'm 'hooking up' or 'chilling out', one thing has remained constant--I couldn't give two shits about my 'partners'. I simply want to get my dick wet so to speak. But with this guy, it's weird cause I don't even want sex from him....I just want to feel this silly school boy crush.. It's so hilarious and entertaining, that I will actually sit down and study my own emotions as he comes into view...It's like I'm observing myself being a dolt from a third person standpoint...it's quite entertaining.

So anyways, now to the gross part of the story:


It's raining like cats and dogs here in Bangkok right now. I mean, terrential rainy-season downpours during the 'cool, dry' season. From out of nowhere we just got pummeled about 30 minutes ago. I had gone out for a cup of Thai Iced Coffee and it just rained the fuck out of nowhere.
As I approached the coffee stand, set up on a cobblestone sidewalk elevated from the street, I noticed that I had just walked into a huge swarm of cockroaches desperately trying to escape the flooded street and get into higher ground. They were the lucky ones that crawled up from the gutter and sewers into the street, the from the streets onto the sidewalks. It looked as if I was watching one of those "Planet Earth" documentaries narrated by Sir D0avid Attenborough, where a helicopter above does a swoop down on a giant, migratory herd of wilderbeast in Africa. It was just an enormous swarm of roaches crawling from the streets all headed in one direction--towards higher ground. And I...I was in the middle of it.

Now, before you start thinking that I was feaking the fuck out, I actually have almost no fear of cockroaches. When I was in basic training in the military at Lackland Air Force Base, the first thing I became desensatized to outside of my drill instrutors constant, raspy, yelling was cockroaches--they were everywhere.
So, I only observed them with mild repulsion and curiosity. I ordered a 'Kaffer Yen" (iced coffee) from the vendor who was frantically sweeping roaches away from his coffee stand, and I took the broom from him and assisted in sweeping the myself.
Here I was, this 'American', sweeping cockroaches and having a good laugh--I must have seemed like quite a fool to these men. Finally, a woman walked out of the Internet Cafe in which the Coffee Stand was located in front of, and she sprayed a 2 feet thick boundry between the roaches and the coffee stand.
In the roaches depseration they crawled on to the poisoned patche of contrete anyway and started to die. I felt terrible for the bugs. We had opted to destroy something for no other reason that the fact that we found them repulsive---(ok, I didn't have any part in the spraying of the roaches, but I still observed it without objecting ). Sometimes, I'm not very proud to be a human being.

So anyways, I get the coffee and I start walking back home, when I realized that the street was flood up past my ankles. I trudged through the dirty water only then realizing that some of it was probably sewage, as was evident by the faint fartistic smell. I blocked any sense of repulsion, for what else could I do? Realizing this is Thailand, I also had to come to grips with the posibilty of being exposed to some exotic parasite or a cobra swimming by that would more than gladly spit venom in my eyes, or kill with a bite.

The 50 yards back home seemed like miles! But then I spotted him walking in my direction. He was trying to get to his motor scooter, and I was trying to get home. We caught each other's eyes, he smiled at me shiley, and I laughed back and him. Then he laughed. I waved, he waved, and we walked on by. I doubt he knows English and I barely know any Thai or Chinese, so a wave would be all there was.
It was sweet, silly, ,stupid ass moment , but again, there I was walking through soup de poo-jour giggling and laughing at my own stupidity.


Ohhhhh.... I love my life sometimes.


.
[Edited 1/6/10 2:51am]
[Edited 1/6/10 8:36am]

This story should be picturized. Cameron could use some of his 3D technologies, write the script for 14 months and use some new Holywood actors with S.Weaver as a cockroach. This is going to be another blockbuster movie!

Spoiler: At the end of this movie Dan is going to marry a cockroach.

zaza said:

PS - I don't think I can visit Thailand anymore. I would probably have a heart attack if I were swarmed by roaches.

Roaches NO!!!!! I would've had to be put in an insane asylum if I was in the middle of all that.

Cute Thai men, YES!!!!!

I love the romance of it all. *sigh*

TheVoid said:

Number23 said:

is that well?

TheVoid said:

N/A

Chinamen?
I find that offensive.

SUPRMAN said:

well Chinamen?

Actually upon looking it up, I see it's considered offensive by some modern day chinese. I shall change the title.

WTF is a basketball quart???

I loaf reading TheVoid...

CarrieMpls said:

It was like out of a movie. I've never seen anything like it.

this post is fucking novel-length. i don't think i can get through it.


Post-read: I CAN NEVER GO TO THAILAND NOW.
[Edited 1/6/10 16:32pm]

evenstar3 said:

I'm actually kinda surprised he didn't say "they scooped up all the roaches and deep fried them at the roadside stand! "



but, that's just me... in all, it was kinda benign...

RenHoek said:

i do well with everything but massive, wriggly bugs...

I'm not reading all that shit. Did you get some boipussy or not?

Why don't ya school him on hoops?
Show him how to do it 'Bama style!
or he can just have a good laugh at your sweet farang ball fumbling.

ScarletScandal said:

ScarletScandal said:

exactly