needs to have the latest expensive designer whatever and have hair and nails done at allll times, and freaks out if they are not.

has to seem to the outside world that they are perfect- when in actual fact they may not be

demands things or asks for things on a constant basis- i don't mean asking to eat out once in a while but asking to be taken out at this fanxy palce or this place and here and there and whine when they don't get it

shows off the credit cards when u go out to lunch and acts all snotty- im better than u

I guess everyone has different definitions. I'm not even sure how I'd define it.

I will say, I don't think there's anything wrong with being high maintenance. Some people require more maintaining than others and there are plenty of people who like to, well, maintain them.

JuliePurplehead said:

Really? Cause I want effort. Maybe that makes me high maintenance. I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who wasn't willing to put in any effort and I expect to put effort in as well. Now, it may feel effortless most of the time 'cause of how you feel about each other, but there are gonna be times that you're gonna have to suck it up and do what is necessary even when you don't want to. Heck, friendships require that. Good ones, anyway.

CarrieMpls said:

Yep. I know people who have trouble finding somebody who WANTS as much attention as they want to give. A friend of mine just got a dog so she would have somebody to fuss over instead of her boyfriend, because he doesn't like it.

I can be a little like that too, I think. Intense and affectionate. Though nobody has ever accused me of being high-maintenance.

But anyway, yeah, I don't want drama ( ), but I don't mind somebody wanting my focus and attention with some regularity. That's fine.

For me, someone who takes longer than 45 minutes to an hour to get ready on a daily basis seems high maintenance. (Time frame meaning from start to finish: shower, hair, dress, etc.) Exceptions can be made if you are going somewhere fancy or special occasion, but if a guy takes longer than me to get ready I think it's too much. Maybe that sounds a bit unfair, but I'm a girl who rarely leaves the house without doing full hair & make-up so if I can do it in less than an hour, why can't a guy?


That being said, I could probably be considered high maintenance in certain regards. I don't care so much about materialistic things, but I do like to have everything look a certain way (clean, matching, clutterless) and I get very attached to doing things a certain way or buying the same brands (for food, cleaning supplies, etc).



.
[Edited 1/6/10 7:46am]

Someone that needs A LOT of attention or time or material things or ALL to keep them "happy"

ZombieKitten said:

Female.

Zing!

I think it means that their flaw is not accepting any of your flaws. Meaning you have to be perfect all the time.

You have to be romantic, wealthy, funny, energetic, focused on them, sexually gifted, appreciative of them, etc etc, and all for the privilege of being with them.

High maintenance = control freaks. Which I love to torture

theres alot of sad folx out in the world
[Edited 1/6/10 12:28pm]

I think that the definition of "high maintenance" is different to each individual. Where as some would deem another as "high maintenance" and therefore undesirable, they may be PERFECT for someone else.

I have been called "high maintenance" before; but it's generally by people... but they were ALWAYS people who didn't know me, who judged on assumption alone. I always have my nails and toes done, my hair perfect, my makeup flawless, and I do nice clothes, whether I'm going for a night on the town or a trip to the grocery store. However, I don't make a man support that habit. I don't impose it on him. People take from that, "high maintenance", "superficial", and "shallow"... but people who KNOW me, know otherwise. I don't think the fact that I put effort into my appearance makes me any less of an intelligent, good person. IMO, you only make a first impression ONCE, so I like to make it a good one.

And therefore, I think that "high maintenance" is in the eye of the beholder.

connorhawke said:

not you your partner

Mars23 said:

problem solved

CarrieMpls said:

The key word is "consciously". I naturally put forth an effort but if I have to start thinking about it, I'm done.

JuliePurplehead said:

That's interesting. I put forth conscious effort in my relationship every day, but I would never consider Chris high maintenance.

PunkMistress said:

I guess I'm probably speaking more from a dating/new relationship frame of mind. And I'm disregarding the conscious effort that I'm making in the relationship due to my own bullshit. When it's totally his bullshit, then it's high maintenance...for me.

I guess I don't know what I'm saying!

High maintenance means to have high expectations in a relationship, like going out to eat at expensive restaurants, expecting expensive gifts, shopping every weekend, trips every month, always pampered, label dropping, etc.
[Edited 1/6/10 17:07pm]

JuliePurplehead said:

I think I know what you mean. In the very beginning of a relationship/getting to know someone, it's supposed to just feel good and be kind of effortless. If you're having to overthink everything or make sure you're going along all kinds of obnoxious demands or rules, then yeah, that's high maintenance.

high maintenance is essentially one that is expensive to keep in good condition

ZombieKitten said:

Yeah that's why I said I get it.

Well yep, high maintenance because I'm kept on my toes. Although it's a high maintenance factor that I'll happily deal with but only because I know it doesn't stem from selfishness or spite.

For me the impossible high maintenance situation would be being with someone who was self-destructive.

yep its true lol i wanted to get with my boyfriend's friend also

it was a trip cuz i haven't met his friend, then one night i didn't show up

i wonder if he was cute and if so i don't think my boyfriend/ex would enjoy that.

the dated before the lol it was funny cuz he told me he didn't want a serious relationship so now i understand .....being in a relationship means commitment

i don't know what the definition is to yall?

And most guys hate that cuz the all the mushy lovey dovey stuff romance comes to play and when a guy sees that its over and some have a different view of what a relationship should be like
[Edited 1/7/10 1:30am]

ZombieKitten said:

+

cborgman said:

+

thekidsgirl said:

I associate the expression mostly with expenditure. I've known some girls myself who just seem to be taking it for granted that the guy spends a considerable amount of money on them - and also just sort of demand that he does so at least indirectly. The "if you're not prepared to spend, there's always someone else who will be" -mindset.

Say, if you were going out together on a Friday night, the subway wouldn't be an appropriate means of transportation. It would have to be preferably a cab, both ways. Something like that's not even about convenience necessarily, it has more to do with some really naive ideas about social status. I'm not sure if that can be exclusively linked to individuals who put an extra effort to their appearance or wear expensive / designer -stuff either, for I've also known quite a few women who play the role of the "poet" or "philosopher" girl - yet still fail to understand that not everyone can afford to eat at a restaurant every day.
[Edited 1/7/10 3:03am]

Visualizing an ex : Someone whose perspective involves expecting others to cater to their larger-than-normal insecurities and whims. Someone who holds their significant other to extremely high standards but gives themselves all sorts of ethical loopholes. Someone prone to drama and, quite often, someone who lies.

PunkMistress said:

But if you want to put forth the effort, I think it's just love, not that they're high maintenance.

NDRU said:

It can also be a form of self abuse. I'm a pleaser and gave willingly to my partner for 5 years. When I had no blood left in my lifeless body, it was no longer a pleasure

the guy dated for a while said most girls are stuck up cuz he doesn't have a car, so he takes the bus. so he used to being alone.

so anyway he just moved into his place and didn't have anything in it so he was so worked up over owning a car and all these things. Even tried to hussle me for things.


however, im not that type of girl just cuz a guy doesn't have those things, that i won't like him. im more interested if we get along/personality more so then all that stuff. I'm not saying i have the answers lol but that be a sign of a lasting relationship.


but i guess thats a man. it's easy to own car and get around so i ain't mad at that.

it's just nasty what money does to a relationship.

ya well i suspect i had more money then him


it's just sad to see what $$$$ and those material things can do to a person
i won't be held responsible for it
[Edited 1/7/10 13:50pm]

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

But that's not good for either of you long-term! Short term sounds pretty good for him, though

luv4u said:

^WINNER!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Yeah, I have that unfortunate tendency as well.

But we've learned, and now we're better, right? RIGHT?