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There's no sense I feel like there's no sense in falling in love or in anything. Listen, all of my life I've tried so hard to find me some girlfriend who will share my love but it was always big love from my side and she doesn't give a fuck about me. Finally, when I was 17 I've met this wonderful girl. It was love like in some crappy Hollywood movie and we both thought that it will last forever. And that was the biggest mistake - NEVER say the word "forever" in any relationship. Never. Because we're just like some castles of sand and it's just a matter of time when will come this big wave which will end all of this. After almost three years she has changed so much that I couldn't believe my eyes, and what is more important, I couldn't believe my heart. I have to apologize her for HER MISTAKES. "How could I fell in love with someone who's acting like this?" - I guess I was just blind. You know, love is blindness. The worst thing is that she completely turned the whole situation against me and I'm "that bastard who broke up with her". She told me I've ruined her life and she'd never be happy again..well, that unhappiness lasted for two weeks when she found herself another boyfriend and she has told me that "time healed all of her wounds" - I mean, it was just two weeks?! What a mighty long time..  Now it's almost 4 months since we broke up. I'm in love with this one girl I know and I hope she feels the same - but time will tell.
The truth is - I'm 20. I've done nothing in my life. Now you all could say "hey, zaza..you're too young, you have all of your life ahead". But listen - what if I'll be 30 and still did nothing? In these times there are more single persons than families. But maybe I could die next week or next month, who knows, so I'd die young and as useless person..and I guess this is what is beautiful about our lives - "you never know". So you all, threat your lifes as it is something cruel but very beautiful at the same time. I know that most of you will reply "lock this shit  " or "  ". I don't know why I made this thread but I just want you all to know how much I love you and how much I appreciate that I could be a part of the org..you're some sweetest persons I've ever known - tinaz, nyse, squirrelgrease, imago, prb, aelis, mainly everyone in the GD and the list goes on.. I love you all and thanks that life is much brighter with you..  Now lock this stupid thread. | |
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i can realy relate 2 u zaza.
just stay focused on u. the right one might come along. love can realy hurt. but we live n lern | |
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Great story.
Try being 36/37 and having the same sort of experience. 
Never say forever indeed. 
What really sucks is when you know the best thing to do afterwords is to have nothing to do with each other. But that person can still track your moves, track your words, etc. In other words, they can piss in your sandbox anytime they want. I wish that when I break up with someone I could always change my mailbox, phone number, and even 'Internet' websites or accounts, but I'm realizing I can't. But you are indeed 20, zaza, and emotions burn much more intensely at that age. What ended up being feelings of abandonment, discust, and ultimately repulsion that I felt and feel to some degree now would have been amplified at your age with many other emotions. I remember the emotions I felt at 20 were sooooo.... powerful. They drive you insane. Here's what I've come to realize: The people you meet and fall in love with have the ability to help expand your world, or box it in. Aks yourself which you are experiencing, and deal with it appropriately. My world had turned into a jankity, white hot mess and I didn't ask myself that. You have the whole world, ahead of you zaza, and choices available to you that many of us reading this do not have. The only thing you are stuck with. The ((((( only )))) thing in this entire world that you are stuck with..... is me.   
GROUP. HUG. | |
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Imago said: Great story.
Try being 36/37 and having the same sort of experience.
Never say forever indeed.
What really sucks is when you know the best thing to do afterwords is to have nothing to do with each other. But that person can still track your moves, track your words, etc. In other words, they can piss in your sandbox anytime they want. I wish that when I break up with someone I could always change my mailbox, phone number, and even 'Internet' websites or accounts, but I'm realizing I can't. But you are indeed 20, zaza, and emotions burn much more intensely at that age. What ended up being feelings of abandonment, discust, and ultimately repulsion that I felt and feel to some degree now would have been amplified at your age with many other emotions. I remember the emotions I felt at 20 were sooooo.... powerful. They drive you insane. Here's what I've come to realize: The people you meet and fall in love with have the ability to help expand your world, or box it in. Aks yourself which you are experiencing, and deal with it appropriately. My world had turned into a jankity, white hot mess and I didn't ask myself that. You have the whole world, ahead of you zaza, and choices available to you that many of us reading this do not have. The only thing you are stuck with. The ((((( only )))) thing in this entire world that you are stuck with..... is me.
GROUP. HUG. Thanks Imago for your words. You're right and I agree with that part about changing your mailbox, phone number etc. I even deleted my ex from my facebook account. It hurted at first to do that but now I know it was the best thing I could do (or could have done? Damn english grammar!  ). | |
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nyse said: i can realy relate 2 u zaza.
just stay focused on u. the right one might come along. love can realy hurt. but we live n lern Thanks for your understanding bro. | |
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zaza said: Imago said: Great story.
Try being 36/37 and having the same sort of experience.
Never say forever indeed.
What really sucks is when you know the best thing to do afterwords is to have nothing to do with each other. But that person can still track your moves, track your words, etc. In other words, they can piss in your sandbox anytime they want. I wish that when I break up with someone I could always change my mailbox, phone number, and even 'Internet' websites or accounts, but I'm realizing I can't. But you are indeed 20, zaza, and emotions burn much more intensely at that age. What ended up being feelings of abandonment, discust, and ultimately repulsion that I felt and feel to some degree now would have been amplified at your age with many other emotions. I remember the emotions I felt at 20 were sooooo.... powerful. They drive you insane. Here's what I've come to realize: The people you meet and fall in love with have the ability to help expand your world, or box it in. Aks yourself which you are experiencing, and deal with it appropriately. My world had turned into a jankity, white hot mess and I didn't ask myself that. You have the whole world, ahead of you zaza, and choices available to you that many of us reading this do not have. The only thing you are stuck with. The ((((( only )))) thing in this entire world that you are stuck with..... is me.
GROUP. HUG. Thanks Imago for your words. You're right and I agree with that part about changing your mailbox, phone number etc. I even deleted my ex from my facebook account. It hurted at first to do that but now I know it was the best thing I could do (or could have done? Damn english grammar! ).At least she wasn't sending you monthly emails critiquing what you post on the Internet obsessed with perserving her howdy-dudey, squeeking nice image. I absolutely hate being manipulated, and people who attempt to manipulate me. I actually sent a very gracious reply hoping to end any future correspondences, but no.
I had an ex literally keep hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars of my stuff, only to claim she had no room for it several months later so that she could see me again. I was like, "  , we ain't having none of that. You can keep the skates, books, etc. and I'll keep my sanity, thanks much. "
[Edited 12/27/09 3:13am] | |
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welcome to hell. at least you aren't married yet. everyone's a fruit & nut case | |
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Imago said: zaza said: Thanks Imago for your words. You're right and I agree with that part about changing your mailbox, phone number etc. I even deleted my ex from my facebook account. It hurted at first to do that but now I know it was the best thing I could do (or could have done? Damn english grammar! ).At least she wasn't sending you monthly emails critiquing what you post on the Internet obsessed with perserving her howdy-dudey, squeeking nice image.
I had an ex literally keep hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars of my stuff, only to claim she had no room for it several months later so that she could see me again. I was like, " , we ain't having none of that. You can keep the skates, books, etc. and I'll keep my sanity, thanks much. "
She send me a short message "come to my house for your t-shirts and some things or I'll get rid of them". I replied: "So..do you want to get rid of rings, earrings etc. I gave you?". "No, those are mine." | |
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whistle said: welcome to hell. at least you aren't married yet.
| |
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It's very sad that you feel this way. I want to tell you, "don't worry about it, it's best to be single anyway," but I guess that wouldn't be easy for you to understand if you desire to be in a romantic relationship.
Me personally, I think it's much easier being single.  I've never intimately dated or "gone steady" with anyone, lol, and since I'm not the lonely type, I don't feel like I've missed anything. Like you, I'm very young too, but unlike you, I don't want to be with anyone romantically currently, and have had no problems not having a boyfriend. One reason is, regarding personal relationships, I'm an incredulous person who doesn't trust strangers or their motives easily. For that reason, I could never become blind to a guy's true nature/mentality instantaneously after meeting him, lol, so I can't just fall in love like that without meticulously evaluating the guy over a long period of time. I'd have to find out he's genuinely just like me from the very beginning, resulting in us loving/adoring each other equivalently, or honestly, I wouldn't be interested. Plus, from what I've observed, it's much too stressful being "in love," even more difficult maintaining that love, and overall disheartening trying to find the perfect match.  "You put water into a cup, it becomes the cup...Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend." - Bruce Lee
"Water can nourish me, but water can also carry me. Water has magic laws." - JCVD | |
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Imago said: Great story.
Try being 36/37 and having the same sort of experience.
Never say forever indeed.
What really sucks is when you know the best thing to do afterwords is to have nothing to do with each other. But that person can still track your moves, track your words, etc. In other words, they can piss in your sandbox anytime they want. I wish that when I break up with someone I could always change my mailbox, phone number, and even 'Internet' websites or accounts, but I'm realizing I can't. But you are indeed 20, zaza, and emotions burn much more intensely at that age. What ended up being feelings of abandonment, discust, and ultimately repulsion that I felt and feel to some degree now would have been amplified at your age with many other emotions. I remember the emotions I felt at 20 were sooooo.... powerful. They drive you insane. Here's what I've come to realize: The people you meet and fall in love with have the ability to help expand your world, or box it in. Aks yourself which you are experiencing, and deal with it appropriately. My world had turned into a jankity, white hot mess and I didn't ask myself that. You have the whole world, ahead of you zaza, and choices available to you that many of us reading this do not have. The only thing you are stuck with. The ((((( only )))) thing in this entire world that you are stuck with..... is me.
GROUP. HUG.
I've been dealing with some similar issues myself, so I will not say much, but I absolutely agree with what Imago said. Hopefully, it will all make sense in the end. It's important to remain oneself. And one of the best advices I ever got was to just stop thinking and analysing. Whenever I manage to do that, things just seem to get better, not just "love-wise". |
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You may not appreciate what I'm about to say but you’re lucky you broke up.
I mean its worse if you had kids then realized what they're really like, that's when it's too hard to get away. So move on because you can and when you least expect it BANG you'll be feeling that love thing again! | |
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zaza, I'm not at all suggesting that what you're feeling isn't "real" or the stuff of a baby, but trust me: Many of the fleeting interactions and white-hot passions you feel now are par for the course at your age.
Don't rob yourself of getting to know interesting people, but also don't let this all be the center of your world at 20... or you very well may look back at 30 and be like, "Where did all my time go?!?!  Concentrate on school for now. God will still be making hot women after you finish. And since you'll be increasingly better grounded, perhaps you'll give and get more from relationships as you get older.[Edited 12/27/09 4:28am] Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.” | |
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chocolatehandles said: You may not appreciate what I'm about to say but you’re lucky you broke up.
I mean its worse if you had kids then realized what they're really like, that's when it's too hard to get away. So move on because you can and when you least expect it BANG you'll be feeling that love thing again! I don't miss her so much..I just miss one part of her and that's probably the part of me I gave her. What I wanted to say is that I can't see no sense in falling in love. You see, when I try to imagine I'll be married one day and I'll have to die, I just don't want to hurt my future wife and children. I can see it on my grandma - she lived with my grandfather for about 45 years and when he suddenly died you could see the pain she felt..I don't want to leave my loved ones alone in this world and hurt them one day just because I'll have to pass away..so I guess it's better to be alone and single, so you couldn't hurt anyone. but on the other hand, love is a beautiful feeling..you see, that's why the life is cruel and beautiful at the same time. And thanks anyone for your kind words  | |
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Zaza don't give up on love just because you had a bad experience, not everyone ends up with their first love. Our grandparents lived and loved under different circumstances, things were much different then, more simple. That doesn't mean their love was any different to ours, ours is more complex and made up of a few more faces that's all. | |
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zaza said: I feel like there's no sense in falling in love or in anything. Listen, all of my life I've tried so hard to find me some girlfriend who will share my love but it was always big love from my side and she doesn't give a fuck about me. Finally, when I was 17 I've met this wonderful girl. It was love like in some crappy Hollywood movie and we both thought that it will last forever. And that was the biggest mistake - NEVER say the word "forever" in any relationship. Never. Because we're just like some castles of sand and it's just a matter of time when will come this big wave which will end all of this. After almost three years she has changed so much that I couldn't believe my eyes, and what is more important, I couldn't believe my heart. I have to apologize her for HER MISTAKES. "How could I fell in love with someone who's acting like this?" - I guess I was just blind. You know, love is blindness. The worst thing is that she completely turned the whole situation against me and I'm "that bastard who broke up with her". She told me I've ruined her life and she'd never be happy again..well, that unhappiness lasted for two weeks when she found herself another boyfriend and she has told me that "time healed all of her wounds" - I mean, it was just two weeks?! What a mighty long time..
Now it's almost 4 months since we broke up. I'm in love with this one girl I know and I hope she feels the same - but time will tell.
The truth is - I'm 20. I've done nothing in my life. Now you all could say "hey, zaza..you're too young, you have all of your life ahead". But listen - what if I'll be 30 and still did nothing? In these times there are more single persons than families. But maybe I could die next week or next month, who knows, so I'd die young and as useless person..and I guess this is what is beautiful about our lives - "you never know". So you all, threat your lifes as it is something cruel but very beautiful at the same time. I know that most of you will reply "lock this shit " or " ". I don't know why I made this thread but I just want you all to know how much I love you and how much I appreciate that I could be a part of the org..you're some sweetest persons I've ever known - tinaz, nyse, squirrelgrease, imago, prb, aelis, mainly everyone in the GD and the list goes on.. I love you all and thanks that life is much brighter with you.. Now lock this stupid thread.
I think most of us can relate. I am married to my absolute perfect match from heaven, but I didn't meet him until I was 28. I went through hell and back during the years before that, but I knew there was something more for me. I don't regret a thing. It all taught me what I do and do not want from a relationship, and made me into a person who is more careful with another's heart, because mine has been broken. Most importantly, I never stopped believing in love or in my own ability to give love, just because of the heartaches I went through. I think I speak for everyone here when I say, fuck you, zaza! | |
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Just wanna give you this and tell you that I can relate. | |
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PunkMistress said: zaza said: I feel like there's no sense in falling in love or in anything. Listen, all of my life I've tried so hard to find me some girlfriend who will share my love but it was always big love from my side and she doesn't give a fuck about me. Finally, when I was 17 I've met this wonderful girl. It was love like in some crappy Hollywood movie and we both thought that it will last forever. And that was the biggest mistake - NEVER say the word "forever" in any relationship. Never. Because we're just like some castles of sand and it's just a matter of time when will come this big wave which will end all of this. After almost three years she has changed so much that I couldn't believe my eyes, and what is more important, I couldn't believe my heart. I have to apologize her for HER MISTAKES. "How could I fell in love with someone who's acting like this?" - I guess I was just blind. You know, love is blindness. The worst thing is that she completely turned the whole situation against me and I'm "that bastard who broke up with her". She told me I've ruined her life and she'd never be happy again..well, that unhappiness lasted for two weeks when she found herself another boyfriend and she has told me that "time healed all of her wounds" - I mean, it was just two weeks?! What a mighty long time..
Now it's almost 4 months since we broke up. I'm in love with this one girl I know and I hope she feels the same - but time will tell.
The truth is - I'm 20. I've done nothing in my life. Now you all could say "hey, zaza..you're too young, you have all of your life ahead". But listen - what if I'll be 30 and still did nothing? In these times there are more single persons than families. But maybe I could die next week or next month, who knows, so I'd die young and as useless person..and I guess this is what is beautiful about our lives - "you never know". So you all, threat your lifes as it is something cruel but very beautiful at the same time. I know that most of you will reply "lock this shit " or " ". I don't know why I made this thread but I just want you all to know how much I love you and how much I appreciate that I could be a part of the org..you're some sweetest persons I've ever known - tinaz, nyse, squirrelgrease, imago, prb, aelis, mainly everyone in the GD and the list goes on.. I love you all and thanks that life is much brighter with you.. Now lock this stupid thread.
I think most of us can relate. I am married to my absolute perfect match from heaven, but I didn't meet him until I was 28. I went through hell and back during the years before that, but I knew there was something more for me. I don't regret a thing. It all taught me what I do and do not want from a relationship, and made me into a person who is more careful with another's heart, because mine has been broken. Most importantly, I never stopped believing in love or in my own ability to give love, just because of the heartaches I went through. I think I speak for everyone here when I say, fuck you, zaza! Fuck you too and thanks for your story
It's hard to find someone who would appreciate who you really are inside, not just how you look. I'm not beautiful, I'm tall and skinny, I haven't got perfect body with great muscles, I have no money (but I'm rich on the personality ). But it's me - that's a fact. I like myself, nobody's perfect and that's our perfection  | |
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zaza said: PunkMistress said:
I think most of us can relate. I am married to my absolute perfect match from heaven, but I didn't meet him until I was 28. I went through hell and back during the years before that, but I knew there was something more for me. I don't regret a thing. It all taught me what I do and do not want from a relationship, and made me into a person who is more careful with another's heart, because mine has been broken. Most importantly, I never stopped believing in love or in my own ability to give love, just because of the heartaches I went through. I think I speak for everyone here when I say, fuck you, zaza! Fuck you too and thanks for your story
It's hard to find someone who would appreciate who you really are inside, not just how you look. I'm not beautiful, I'm tall and skinny, I haven't got perfect body with great muscles, I have no money (but I'm rich on the personality ). But it's me - that's a fact. I like myself, nobody's perfect and that's our perfection Yes! Which is why we often meet our life partner a little later, when we've both realized all that and come to terms with it. You're ahead of your years. | |
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Vendetta1 said: Just wanna give you this
and tell you that I can relate.Thank you, Vendetta1
People, you are so sweet! | |
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OMG, I'm feeling like everybody on this thread just needs to fuck the fuck off 
Fuck you guys sooooo much
GROUP. HUG. | |
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PunkMistress said: zaza said: Fuck you too and thanks for your story
It's hard to find someone who would appreciate who you really are inside, not just how you look. I'm not beautiful, I'm tall and skinny, I haven't got perfect body with great muscles, I have no money (but I'm rich on the personality ). But it's me - that's a fact. I like myself, nobody's perfect and that's our perfection Yes! Which is why we often meet our life partner a little later, when we've both realized all that and come to terms with it. You're ahead of your years. Thanks and you're not the first who said this about me. At first I thought I'm weird because of my opinions on life, but then I understood that I'm more grown up in this. I was a "girl" in my relationship with my ex. I wanted to stay in bed with her in the morning (I know that almost every girl or woman want this) and she just went away, I wanted to hug, she didn't. It was totally reversed, I was really like a woman and she was like a man | |
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i hope you feel better soon, a broken heart is so painful! i went through it a few times before i met my husband, i was hurt so badly by my relationships that i did give up on finding anyone to date, and i didn't date for 2 years before i met my husband. i needed that space and time to myself, to get together my own life. and when i did meet my husband it was a huge surprise, and i never saw it coming! i would have never imagined i would meet him and fall in-love. i was starting to think no one would ever understand the person i am. that no one could truly love me for me. well, i was 100% wrong! because i have known my husband now for over 7 years, and i couldn't be more loved by him.  | |
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kimrachell said: i hope you feel better soon, a broken heart is so painful! i went through it a few times before i met my husband, i was hurt so badly by my relationships that i did give up on finding anyone to date, and i didn't date for 2 years before i met my husband. i needed that space and time to myself, to get together my own life. and when i did meet my husband it was a huge surprise, and i never saw it coming! i would have never imagined i would meet him and fall in-love. i was starting to think no one would ever understand the person i am. that no one could truly love me for me. well, i was 100% wrong! because i have known my husband now for over 7 years, and i couldn't be more loved by him. I'm glad you're happy in your relationship You're right | |
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After you give everything you have to somebody. and they takeit, squeeze all the juice out of it, then throw it on the ground..
Its hard to ever trust again. they say its better to have loved and loss, than to never have loved it all. I disagree. | |
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Lammastide said: zaza, I'm not at all suggesting that what you're feeling isn't "real" or the stuff of a baby, but trust me: Many of the fleeting interactions and white-hot passions you feel now are par for the course at your age.
Don't rob yourself of getting to know interesting people, but also don't let this all be the center of your world at 20... or you very well may look back at 30 and be like, "Where did all my time go?!?! Concentrate on school for now. God will still be making hot women after you finish. And since you'll be increasingly better grounded, perhaps you'll give and get more from relationships as you get older.
[Edited 12/27/09 4:28am] This is great advice. Doesn't make it hurt any less now, though. |
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zaza said: The truth is - I'm 20. I've done nothing in my life. Now you all could say "hey, zaza..you're too young, you have all of your life ahead". But listen - what if I'll be 30 and still did nothing?
So begin to live your life in such a way that you'll have no regrets if you die tomorrow. There are plenty of people who may look at my life and think I haven't accomplished much. I'm 34 and single, no kids, no car, average corporate job, blah blah blah. But there's not much in life for me to regret. I have wonderful friends, I'm quite well-traveled for my age and economic status, I've seen nearly every band and artist I've ever wanted to see live that has been possible (i.e. not dead or no longer a band, etc.) and I've got plans lined up for a wonderful future. Certainly there's more than that, but I think you know what I'm getting at. Someone else had a thread recently about being young and single... and the advice given there rings true here as well. Focus on making yourself happy. Just you. Live a good life. The rest will take care of itself. |
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nyse said: After you give everything you have to somebody. and they takeit, squeeze all the juice out of it, then throw it on the ground..
i agree with every word of this. Its hard to ever trust again. they say its better to have loved and loss, than to never have loved it all. I disagree. | |
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. [Edited 12/27/09 11:23am] Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.” | |
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^^^^
your just kidding. but me drinking to cure the hurt is serious. I have been doing better latly . [Edited 12/27/09 11:05am] | |
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