If you knew a friend was cheating on their significant other and they asked you to keep the info on the DL and maybe even help them hide the affair, would you:

A) Comply with your friends wishes
B) Reject their request and immediately inform the other partner of what's been going on,
C) End your friendship so as not to be anywhere around when the shit hits the fan.


Truthfully, how many of us would do as some of Tiger's friends have done and help him keep up the facade of faithful partner. How many of us would want to be in Elin's situation where we are the last to find out all the gritty details. There is a code of silence but...


let's discuss

(B) I would tell the other party, but then the other party may already know.

But really a woman KNOWS when her man is fooling around. They just refuse to take the rose coloured glasses off

My gut reaction would be to tell the other person but then what if they don't believe you and think you're just being a

What if you like both people and don't want to see them break up? Would you be inclined to keep up the lie if you didn't like the other person?

Years ago, a good friend of mine started having an affair with a younger guy. When my friend told me about it, I told him I wished he hadn't, because I liked his partner a lot even though we weren't exactly close or friends or anything. I really had to draw the line when my friend asked if he could use me as an excuse (say he was going over to my house or hanging out with me, etc., when he was really with the affair guy). I told him I wouldn't bust him, but I also wouldn't lie to his partner if asked, so you probably don't want to use me as a cover. Cut to now: My friend and his partner are still together, the affair is long over, and no other affairs have occurred, and they're both happy. The partner never found out.

C) I would stop being friends with the cheetah. There's no way I could be around them and respect them as a friend anymore, especially if I had to be with their spouse too. I'd constantly be looking at the cheater sideways.

Depends very much on how close I am to the other person. There's no way I could just do B) or c). People have their faults. I think B) would be betrayal. C) would be overreacting. But I surely would have long discussions.

I have been in this situation. I did not say anything, just lent an ear to listen. I would not have agreed to help cover anything up and was never asked to. When the truth came out, the wronged party was initially upset with me but ultimately understood it wasn’t my place to get involved and I still maintain a good relationship with both of the people.

i don't say anything.

my name is not Bennett but I still won't be in it!
I certainly won't aid and abet with the cheetah ways.
If the cheater is my friend then I probably won't snitch, cuz shit happens.
If the partner is my friend I might leave lil hints around LOL...

I've never cheated on anyone, but I have somehow always ended up the other woman (usually unexpectedly ) and it's hard once folk start catching feelings. But to possibly sabotage your relationship over pussy/dick I will probably cut you the eye just for being stupid.

Most of you have a lot more integrity than I do apparently. I definitely wouldn't say anything. I wouldn't feel as if was my civic duty to do so.I might urge my friend not to do whatever dirt he's doing but ultimately, it's his business. I know friends have covered for me in the past. Of course, I've never been married. That's another ball game.

luv4u said:

How in the hell do y'all know this?

I've known or been around quite a few instances where high-powered men stepped out on their wives. Their wives did not know.

Maybe it's easier to know if your husband is cheating when he's a 9-to-5'er and is supposed to be home all the time, but then starts not showing up. OK, I get that.

But powerful men that have jobs which demand a lot of travel and late nights at the office have NO problem concealing affairs from their wives. That would be true of athletes like Tiger Woods, I assume.

So I don't buy this "Elin HAD to know" argument. It's coming from people that don't understand what the time and travel demands are of people in his income group.

I would tell my friend to leave me out of their business.

And if the s/o was suspicious and asked if i knew anything, i wouldnt say a word. I'd just tell them to talk to them about it.

i've been in this situation before. hated it.

DesireeNevermind said:

I would either go with (C) or I would add:

(D) Tell your friend he's an idiot and explain to him exactly what he has to lose when his wife finds out

DesireeNevermind said:

D) Would not betray their trust, but also would not help them hide it and would encourage them to do the right thing.

Ace said:

Totally, other than give my opinion of it...I'm minding my own business.

I would stay the fuck away. It's not my business

Comply with my friend's request. It's easy. I'm not betraying my friend's confidence.

DesireeNevermind said:

I'd go for option #3.
But I would also let them know why I was distancing myself.
I'm not good at assisting someone doing something like that.

I make it a point not to get too involved with my friend's significant others.
They're people I smile at and am polite to, but not people I would consider
friends myself (IN GENERAL--there are a few exceptions to this rule).

Anyways, I've been in the situation and I didn't say anything. I told my
friend that he shouldn't have told me about it and that I'd rather not
know the details. He confided in me not because he was bragging but
because it was eating him up inside--you see, he cheated on his 'other'
because of the way she was treating him. Not a justification of sorts,
but being that I've cheated on my others when I was not satisfied or happy
with the relationship, I understood. Hell, my view is that men
will cheat quite easily and those that don't should be praised--and are rare.
My other view is that if you cheat, it shouldn't be your friend's problem as
well. You should keep it to yourself.

Ultimately, it colored my friendship towards him not because I was passing
judgement, but because I didn't want to be dragged into a situation where
his wife goes all Glenn Close on everybody---and believe me, this crazy
bitch would have.

So far the general consensus has been "not get involved" or "keep mouth shut". My count may be off though.

Now this is interesting. How can one not say something especially, in the case of Tiger-type friends, you know all the sordid mess. It's tricky but maybe it's good to drop hints or plant suspicion so the betrayed party can feel like they discovered the spots of the cheetah all by their selves (themselves?).

DesireeNevermind said:

If I move away, that's all the hint the partner is going to get from me. If she doesn't want to know and doesn't want the breadcrumbs then I've created a problem for myself.

luv4u said:

the reason she "knows" is because men are very bad at covering their tracks - women on the other hand employ stealth.

ZombieKitten said:

So true.