LaV you are answering your own question.

You know what you need to do. You can do it and think of what a stellar example you will be setting for your daughter.

n LaV again...You can do this!

Nothinbutjoy said:

oooh,yea!

sag10 said:

To both chickengrease and sag10

My gut feeling tells me this is gonna just cause me more pain, but I am in dire straights. I need to make up my mind, to do what he wants, or venture out on my own. With a child, and no money.

It's a tough call.

Therapy said:

Exactly, Therapy. It's been this way for years. I want to be monogamous and committed. He wants to have freedom, but keep what he has at home.

LaVisHh said:

Then do what y a gotta do for the time being and till you get on your feet again...knowing to keep strong. And make it temporary and get out asap! That means work on getting on your feet and out and NOT working it out.

There'll be too much stress and tension, too often, no matter how good of friends you are...it may be ok for a short time, but in the long run you'll find yourself back in the same situation you're in now: wanting a place to move into and trying to figure out how to afford it...

I'd find another way if at all possible, Lav...and I wish you eternal luck in doing so...

LaVisHh said:

And he knows this Lav!

There altenatives out there, put your pride aside and show your daughter what a strong woman can do..

....
[This message was edited Tue Jan 14 1:37:31 PST 2003 by katt]

So ya'll living w/ him will make easier for him? Not the best for ya'll's daughter or for all of you, just easier for him.

Okay, not saying anymore.

Luv ya LaV

careydevi said:

4 years old.

I have no relatives in Minnesota. I have friends whom I would burden greatly if I were to accept their offers.

I am done with school. That's why all of this is happening, it's time to do something - but there is no money.

I never thought the economy would suck so bad when I got out of college. I was counting on so many things that went flat.

I was once in exactly the same position. I have a 2 year old son. I am on benefits. I am a trained counsellor, yet it takes an age to get established and even then, I need to find another career to rely on financially.

I have found that it takes quite a lot of effort to do initially, yet, the reward of being independant is freedom.

Maybe you have more choices of what to do to improve things for you than you realise? And maybe, some of the hardship is a temporary hardship?

There is always a way...

LaVisHh said:

Lav you would not burden your friends...they made the offer..

Nothinbutjoy said:

katt and Nothin

I hear what you are saying. See, he is totally guilt-tripping me for moving away from him. He claims I am doing this purposely, to take her away from him.

It's so twisted.

I hear what you are saying. See, he is totally guilt-tripping me for moving away from him. He claims I am doing this purposely, to take her away from him.


A control freak will say this.

Thanks everyone.


It seems this is definately not the way to go, all of you agreed on one thing. That this is not a good idea.

I felt the same, but really needed it pounded into my head. When he is home, all he does is convince me to go along with him "if I am a good person".

I so want to add something that includes giving him a swift kick in the nuts on the way out the door LaV...but I said I wasn't gonna say anymore.


n LaV

sag10 said:

Do you realize he says this continuously? Until I can no longer stand it, and go to bed?

It is driving me insane.

LaVisHh said:

If you are a "good person"???...

He should already know you're a good person...hell, we all know it and we don't even live witcha!!!...

Ah, hell no...don't move in with him...nope...

I am also considering moving closer to family. I have a brother and neice out in the Oakland area. That seemed like the best of all my options, but that's one hell of a move.

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[This message was edited Tue Jan 14 1:38:56 PST 2003 by katt]

LaVisHh said:

That sucks... guess what else... he will also try to fuck you when he is unable to get it elsewhere... he wants you to be his little concubine... don't do it.

wellbeyond said:

I am at fault, you know. I left twice, before getting pregnant with his daughter, and came back. I've known the type of person he is.

I am a very ugly person to him. He and I are like oil and water. He wants to have his cake and eat it too, to coin a phrase.

Yes, in the end, it is up to me - many valid points have been made, some I had never even considered.

IceNine said:

IceNine, he's been doing that for years now. I know he doesn't love me. It's really pathetic.

Sorry, everyone for airing out my dirty laundry, but I have nowhere else to seek out such a diverse audience to see all sides.

That is what he wants.

LaVisHh said:

Oakland sounds good to me! Just think the ocean, seafood, and serenity!

The hell of a move will result in peace of mind.

sag10 said:

It is the one thing I want to do. I feel it's the best choice. If I could just swing it.

LaVisHh said:

what do you need to swing it?

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[This message was edited Tue Jan 14 1:40:37 PST 2003 by katt]

sag10 said:

Money. In order to do that, I would need to wait for my tax refund - which will most likely get to me the end of February.

katt said:

I'm all done with school, katt. It's just I am in a major rutt, and he isn't helping by putting so much pressure on me.

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[This message was edited Tue Jan 14 1:41:25 PST 2003 by katt]