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Thread started 01/09/03 8:24pm

AnotherLover2

Tell Us A Story about Amazing People!

*Today I helped an Ethiopian woman challenge her employer--she's pregnant, has 2 other children, and is separated from her husband (and finances are tight). Her work manager told her she had to stop working completely and go on disability/pregnancy leave after the Midwife wrote a letter asking them to give her "light duty" on her cleaning job (she's toward the end of her pregnancy, and has been a perfect, hard, reliable worker). More than likely, they are trying to not pay her that whopping hourly wage of $8.50 per hr. by taking advantage of the fact that she doesn't speak very good English and is very passive. This makes me very angry--they DO have light duty work available! evil This is where unions do come in handy, btw!

*Yesterday I met with a couple from Iraq. They'd both been imprisoned and tortured for years during the 90s in an Iraqi prison, and suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The pregnant mother was referred to counseling; however, the doctor didn't show for the first 2 appointments and then the interpreter no-showed on the 3rd appointment. She's now given up hope of people following through with her, and won't go to anymore appointments. I have some trust-building to do! sad The four and a half year old daughter wants to go to school so badly that she cries each morning when her older brother goes to school. When I was at their home doing the assessment, she thought I was a teacher and she got out a pen and paper to pretend to write like I was doing. She wanted to show me what a great student she'd be--she wanted me to take her to school. cry They live in low-income housing and the windows and floor of the entire house are scattered with a film of mold, which they are allergic to. I'll be advocating to have them moved.

*There are several West African women I have as clients who are "circumcized" (mutilated). Their clitorises--and in some cases, their inner/outer vaginal lips--were removed without anesthesia as young girls in their home countries. As you might imagine, sex is associated with excruciating pain and fear for these women. Delivering a baby vaginally is quite a challenge. One of these clients of mine just delivered twins. I looked at them, then at her, when I went to her home the other night and barely held back tears as I imagined how much she's been through.

~~~

Aren't people just fucking amazing?! Isn't it incredible what we experience in life? Far from finding this work I do "depressing", I find it a huge blessing. Truly, I am grateful to be reminded everyday via this work just what it means to be human and what I was meant to be doing in this life! smile

Your turn! Tell some amazing stories of people you know! smile
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Reply #1 posted 01/09/03 8:28pm

Natsume

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AnotherLover, you amaze me. You are making such a difference in the lives of these people.
I mean, like, where is the sun?
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Reply #2 posted 01/09/03 8:33pm

4LOVE

You are not just anotherlover.You the THEE lover.I love to hear stories of people helping people.I do little things here and there but one day i hope to give someone a new life.Like watering a flower and watching it grow.To see another human reach new highs as a result of something you did has to be a serious rush.Keep doing what you do Anotherlover and maybe it will get contagious.
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Reply #3 posted 01/09/03 8:41pm

AnotherLover2

Ah, jeez, you two--this is sooo not about me! evil I am not Mother Teresa rolleyes lol Anyone who really knows me, knows how down to earth and evil I can be! wink

I'm serious, think of someone you know who's been through a lot and tell us their story! smile
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Reply #4 posted 01/09/03 8:44pm

salaciousV

AnotherLover2 said:

Ah, jeez, you two--this is sooo not about me! evil I am not Mother Teresa rolleyes lol Anyone who really knows me, knows how down to earth and evil I can be! wink

I'm serious, think of someone you know who's been through a lot and tell us their story! smile



The couple with the mold on the floor --- will they be moved? that stuff is slow killing poison. I want updates on these ppl dammit!

How can we help?
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Reply #5 posted 01/09/03 8:45pm

AzureStar

big grin

Thanks for sharing that, anotherlover... smile
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Reply #6 posted 01/09/03 9:02pm

AnotherLover2

salaciousV said:

AnotherLover2 said:

Ah, jeez, you two--this is sooo not about me! evil I am not Mother Teresa rolleyes lol Anyone who really knows me, knows how down to earth and evil I can be! wink

I'm serious, think of someone you know who's been through a lot and tell us their story! smile



The couple with the mold on the floor --- will they be moved? that stuff is slow killing poison. I want updates on these ppl dammit!

How can we help?


They'll be moved--I'm calling the office to try to expedite it. The low-income housing authorities are asking for medical records for proof of health problems rolleyes. The family did go to the ER once, but I don't know if they informed the hospital about the mold. The mold is easily visible to the eye, and they came in and sprayed once already. It just grows back! evil
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Reply #7 posted 01/09/03 9:06pm

AnotherLover2

I have another client who is 14 yrs. old, was sexually assaulted by a boyfriend of her mothers when she was 9. Started having sex at that age, too. Got pregnant when she was 12, miscarried in her 9th month. Got pregnant again 2 more times. Is now pregnant, in her 7th month, is a ward of the state but keeps running away. Was living in a Tent City for awhile, til they found out how old she was. The father of the baby is 21 and a meth addict (just came back from rehab). The client considers herself bisexual and a Wiccan. She also says birth control works the opposite on her--that it makes her get pregnant.

sigh

This girl is a survivor--I've got to hand it to her!
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Reply #8 posted 01/09/03 9:22pm

AnotherLover2

One of my clients and her husband lived in a refugee camp in Africa for 10 years before getting a visa to the U.S. I felt kinda stupid asking them about "depression" and "anxiety" redface But one of my favorite responses ever to a question of mine, was when I asked them whether they ever have disagreements. The wife started laughing and answered incredulously: "we lived in a refugee camp for 10 yrs--fighting is for rich people. There's nothing for us to fight about because we have nothing".

At the core of it: all we really have is each other in the end, and that's all that really matters.
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Reply #9 posted 01/09/03 9:37pm

salaciousV

Amazing. Tell us more.
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Reply #10 posted 01/09/03 9:51pm

AnotherLover2

Sheesh, I could tell ya zillions of stories! But sometimes it's the little things that just slay you about people: a look of vulnerability and trust, an expression of abject pain, the motherfucking incredible smile of a baby...being the first person a client's ever confided a particular thing to...watching a woman leave an abusive situation and rebuild her life successfully, go to school and get a degree...

redface Ah, I just sound corny, now! redface
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Reply #11 posted 01/09/03 9:55pm

salaciousV

bumpin' fo' mo'.
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Reply #12 posted 01/09/03 10:14pm

AnotherLover2

Yesterday I saw a client of mine for the first time since she'd had to terminate her pregnancy. She found out at 5 months that her fetus hadn't developed (and never would) kidneys, a bladder or sufficient lungs. She's married, but hates her husband and has a boyfriend (she's not positive whose baby it is, either rolleyes). She says she tries to leave her husband, but always goes back because he tells their little girl that Mommy hates him and is being mean to him and he cries--and so her little girl refuses to leave with her mother, and the mother can't live without the little girl...also, the husband threatens to commit suicide if she leaves.

This one is a really screwed up story, actually... sad This woman's misery is all in her own hands...
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Reply #13 posted 01/09/03 10:16pm

salaciousV

True realization of reality. No wonder you goof on these boards. Damn. How do you stay sane?
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Reply #14 posted 01/09/03 10:29pm

Christopher

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miss AL2 what kinda work do you do?
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Reply #15 posted 01/09/03 10:31pm

AnotherLover2

Christopher said:

miss AL2 what kinda work do you do?


I'm a social worker in a midwifery clinic--I work with pregnant women and babies, usually from poorer families.
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Reply #16 posted 01/10/03 1:23am

Natsume

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4LOVE said:

You are not just anotherlover.You the THEE lover.I love to hear stories of people helping people.I do little things here and there but one day i hope to give someone a new life.Like watering a flower and watching it grow.To see another human reach new highs as a result of something you did has to be a serious rush.Keep doing what you do Anotherlover and maybe it will get contagious.

wiping away a tear

Wow that is sweet, 4LOVE
I mean, like, where is the sun?
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Reply #17 posted 01/10/03 1:29am

Natsume

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Here's my story:

I have been friends with a girl for six years now, through high school and she attends college with me now. She is half Vietnamese and has a ton of siblings, and doesn't know her parents - all the kids were adopted at fairly young ages by a couple in Oregon. The couple was very religious, the father was a pastor, and used to beat religion into the kids. Literally. One day my friend gathered up all of her strength and ran away to the neighbors. When social services found out about the abusive home, they took her to live with the couple's grown and married daughter in California. (The couple has disowned my friend since and doesn't allow any contact between her and her sibs.)

The daughter and her husband treated my friend like absolute shit. She was literally the nanny to their two kids. She had to cook and clean and get good grades and do all that shit, just like Cinderella. Not to mention all of the verbal abuse that went on. When she turned 18, they cut her off - financially and in every other sense - most likely because she left for college at that point and wasn't able to be their slave anymore. She has been on her own since then, working and being a student and supporting herself. It's pretty nuts. Sometimes I can't believe her strength.
I mean, like, where is the sun?
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Reply #18 posted 01/10/03 7:17am

AnotherLover2

Natsume said:

Here's my story:

I have been friends with a girl for six years now, through high school and she attends college with me now. She is half Vietnamese and has a ton of siblings, and doesn't know her parents - all the kids were adopted at fairly young ages by a couple in Oregon. The couple was very religious, the father was a pastor, and used to beat religion into the kids. Literally. One day my friend gathered up all of her strength and ran away to the neighbors. When social services found out about the abusive home, they took her to live with the couple's grown and married daughter in California. (The couple has disowned my friend since and doesn't allow any contact between her and her sibs.)

The daughter and her husband treated my friend like absolute shit. She was literally the nanny to their two kids. She had to cook and clean and get good grades and do all that shit, just like Cinderella. Not to mention all of the verbal abuse that went on. When she turned 18, they cut her off - financially and in every other sense - most likely because she left for college at that point and wasn't able to be their slave anymore. She has been on her own since then, working and being a student and supporting herself. It's pretty nuts. Sometimes I can't believe her strength.


Thanks, Nat! What a story! Ya know, I hate it when people adopt children out of a sense of "duty" rather than love mad. In fact, my supervisor was just telling me about a woman she knew who told her that she and the other adopted kids in her family had to sit at a separate table at dinner time. This just infuriates me! evil
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Reply #19 posted 01/10/03 7:21am

AnotherLover2

4LOVE said:

You are not just anotherlover.You the THEE lover.I love to hear stories of people helping people.I do little things here and there but one day i hope to give someone a new life.Like watering a flower and watching it grow.To see another human reach new highs as a result of something you did has to be a serious rush.Keep doing what you do Anotherlover and maybe it will get contagious.


Oh, and btw: in my opinion, you doing "little things here and there" is just as amazing as anything supposedly "big" that anyone else is doing. It's all about what's in your heart and the interaction between the two individuals! smile
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Reply #20 posted 01/10/03 9:40am

sag10

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Truly amazing, and heart warming stories...

Humanity never ceases to amaze me..We are given the gift of healing..
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect, it means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections... unknown
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Reply #21 posted 01/11/03 12:49pm

AnotherLover2

sag10 said:

Truly amazing, and heart warming stories...

Humanity never ceases to amaze me..We are given the gift of healing..


My opinion is that people heal themselves, while others (family, friends, kindness of strangers) try to show them that healing is desired and possible.
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Reply #22 posted 01/11/03 5:48pm

AnotherLover2

I know I'm not the only person with stories to tell! C'mon Orgers! smile
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Reply #23 posted 01/11/03 6:30pm

AzureStar

AnotherLover2 said:

I know I'm not the only person with stories to tell! C'mon Orgers! smile


You might be...

big grin
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Reply #24 posted 01/11/03 6:33pm

AnotherLover2

AzureStar said:

AnotherLover2 said:

I know I'm not the only person with stories to tell! C'mon Orgers! smile


You might be...

big grin


I think you have some stories in ya!
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Reply #25 posted 01/11/03 6:44pm

AzureStar

AnotherLover2 said:

AzureStar said:

AnotherLover2 said:

I know I'm not the only person with stories to tell! C'mon Orgers! smile


You might be...

big grin


I think you have some stories in ya!


lol... perhaps...

(I am out so I can't respond... the second one.) smile
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Reply #26 posted 01/11/03 6:46pm

AnotherLover2

AzureStar said:

AnotherLover2 said:

AzureStar said:

AnotherLover2 said:

I know I'm not the only person with stories to tell! C'mon Orgers! smile


You might be...

big grin


I think you have some stories in ya!


lol... perhaps...

(I am out so I can't respond... the second one.) smile


I can't remember which was 1st and which was 2nd lol Was it the B? smile
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Reply #27 posted 01/11/03 6:46pm

AzureStar

AnotherLover2 said:

AzureStar said:

AnotherLover2 said:

AzureStar said:

AnotherLover2 said:

I know I'm not the only person with stories to tell! C'mon Orgers! smile


You might be...

big grin


I think you have some stories in ya!


lol... perhaps...

(I am out so I can't respond... the second one.) smile


I can't remember which was 1st and which was 2nd lol Was it the B? smile


Yes, it was. lol smile
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Reply #28 posted 01/13/03 6:14pm

salaciousV

bump
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Reply #29 posted 01/13/03 6:42pm

careydevi

Thanks for your stories anotherlover.
Today, I signed up for sociolgy as my second choice for college now.I think I have a story to tell, of my mother. but not now.
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