Fauxie said:

No idea how they make the batter. The red colour's apparently crushed African beetles, though. The meat has more interesting origins. Aftet they've picked all the real chicken off the carcasses to sell to Marks & Spencer, they spray what's left over down with power hoses in a room filled with seive drains on the floor which collect all that grey marrow and matter. This is then compressed to make a huge solid block and is dyed white. This block of shit is then sliced up to sell to Asda, Aldis and kebab shops.

Alej said:

I'm a lazy bastard.

KoolEaze said:

If I started that, lots of folk would ask. And if you look at the answer to the last question, you'll see why I'd like to avoid that.

Number 23, didnt know you were a journo, but if you work for the herald can you tell me if jack mclean is still alive?

Number23 said:

You're kidding.

sermwanderer said:

Legend! I hear he is still kicking, but he was a freelancer when I worked there and I never met him. I was good pals with Tom Shilelds though. The Herald's new SMg management got shot of him in the reaper year of 2006, along with a lot of the old guard. Here's something someone said on the internet when it happened.

Feckkitty feck FECK!!!
Seriously...Dexter, what do you know?....really, has he been canned??

I'm no havin that. I am seriously, not having that. No bloody way.

The nebby know-nothin bint (and of course it had to be a bint) in his space today was one witless, uninteresting cratur - age approx 12 - by the name of Rebecca McQuillan.

If Jack has been canned, well by god I am never going to buy another copy of the bloody blatt ever again - and I am going to seriously have a go at everyone I know who does still buy it.

The thing is a bloody joke these days; a shadow of its former self; and stuffed full of the squeaky new tamponette so-called writers & journos on the block: unlettered idiots, who patently have absolutely feck all of any erudite interest to say.

I want learned journalists. I want writers who have informed opinions, untainted and unimpressed by the whims of mere fashion; who are educated and cultured; who have a grasp of grammar, and of history; who know what's what and what's not; who have a vocabulary; who add to the scope of my learning, and who are not an insult to my intelligence.

The Herald has nothing at all to recommend it these days (apart mibbe from Ian the TV reviewer, who seems most of the time to be in as bad a mood as me.) And if the powers that be have now seen it as the right thing to do to can one of their few remaining decent old school writers, then I for one am done with the cretinous buggers.

If I were to win the lottery I'd buy the bloody blatt, and get a decent newspaper on the go again. It may well sell nothing (- in a country where Tommy Sheridan is excoriated but Jack McConnell, the lyin two faced wee shitebag, somehow is the first bloody minister, I'd expect nothing else) - but at least it would be out there, defiant in the face of the bloody Golgafrinchans.

I want Jack McLean. I do not want a know nothing, undereducated, trilling tamponette, full of Andrex opinions.
This country is fast turning into a bag of shite.

If Dexter's right, this is bad, bad news.

PunkMistress said:

Nope. That's how they 'reform' meat in Scotland. They do the same to cow and pig carcasses for Scotch pies and sausage rolls, more delicious tartan delacies. It really is a complete mystery why Scottish heart disease statistics are the worst in Europe.
[Edited 12/13/09 5:52am]

Number23 said:

Believe it or not, I just googled to see if I could see anything about Jack, and stumbled across that very post.


Used to see the man in the hat in a number of southside of glasgow pubs, especially Jack's first home, Heraghty's, but i've not seen him for ages. Sharp as a tack, but he's not looked good for a while. Scots and alcohol and all that.

Tom Shields, the last I remember of him he left the diary in the herald (which was good), and took the 30 pieces of silver and went to the fucking record (which is shite), and didnt last long.



Major brownie points for ye if you can confirm this.....did Daryl Broadfoot shag michelle mcmanus?

sermwanderer said:

Ha! I was good pals with Daryl at one point, when we were both about 18. He had the same tea boy job as me, but they took him on as a reporter due to his football obsession and writing talent. I don't have a clue about sport, excpet boxing, so i had to make my own way in the world. I hear the fans don't have too high an opinion on him, especially now he's sold out to PR as chief press officer for the SFA. I could tell a story or three, but Daryl's the kind of guy who googles his own name and this thread will no doubt pop up now. I doubt he shagged big Michelle, unless it was for a bet. He was quite a handsome guy back in the day, a bit shy with the girls actually. But that was ten years ago, he probably did slap big Michelle's arse and ride the wave.

Number23 said:

If Daryl googles this then here's a wee GIRFUY for him.

That rumours been doing the rounds now for a while, I'm just assuming it's true and sticking to that.

It could have been beautiful for me and you what with both liking Prince, The Manics and Boxing, but you ruined it by hanging around with broadfoot. Next you'll be telling me you get relationship advice from joan burnie

sermwanderer said:

Like I said, I knew him before he was infamous in football circles. He were just a lad then. Why is he so disliked?

Number23 said:

I'll tidy this up

He's a delusional, overt fan of the blue half of Glasgow, who gets most of his 'exclusives' from roon the back of a u bend in st vincent street toilets.

sermwanderer said:

1. Are you sometimes a mean person? Or is it that your humor is not intended to be mean, but rather 'cutting edge' . I've seen you post simple statements to orgers before that were so assholish that I lost my damned mind laughing... maybe that means I'm mean.


2. Let's be honest, if not for the Americans, you folks would never have a proper UK invasion, would you?


3. Are you ever a label whore (outside of alcohol or consumables).


4. Do you believe the Haydron Collider is worth the expense?


5. What is your least favorite mode of travel, and why?

Imago said:

Dan, you've misquoted me in your sig. Probably karma.

1) I admit I've wrote some things here, towards certain people, their personalities and personal delusions, that others would deem offensive and outrageous. However, this is all done with the higher purpose and intent of getting a laugh. Cheap or cerebral. I'm a fan of high and low culture equally.
I'm never cunty just to be cunty, that would be silly and self-defeating. a completel waste of energy. I'm always trying to be humourous, whether others perceive it that way is up to them. Every sentence. I'm not really arsed if people think I'm just a cunt to be a cunt.
I've said before, I'm an entertainer. Like you. That might sound facecious or conceited to folk, but it's pretty obvious to me. I don't want to get into the psychbabble of why I feel the need to be the clown, as i'm sure you don;t either. However, I'm always trying to make people laugh. here and in reality. If you can make them think too that's a bonus, but it's a laugh first and foremost i want.

2)I've been to loads of invasions all over the UK! I met lots of American orgers in San Fran too. I'm always up for all that.

3)No. The polar opposite. Again, I wont get too blah and self-righteous here but I feel the labelling of anything of worth is the crack in the collective conciousess of our species. Then again, there's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.

4)Yes. It's just a thousanth of what it's cost you ad me as taxpayers to murder thousands of Iraqi children.
Wooo, political.

5)I'd like to say boat or something equally grand, but I really enjoy hauling my own arse around in my car. I loathe public transport. For many good, justified reasons.

Number23 said:

1) Isn't it amazing that every country has take out chinese food restaurants?

2) Have you seen Prince in concert? How about the Stones?

3) Do you have an all time favorite movie?

4) What would you do if there was a caterpillar with a stinger on its butt, and it was in your room?

5) Were you concerned for Jerseykrs's safety when Imago had the huge crush on him?

6) When I come to Scotland for a vacation, would it be a good idea to start in Glascow, and go up to the north, and start north and travel down south?

7) Have you ever read Dorothy Dunnett's historical novel series about Scotland called the Lymond Chronicles?

BlackAdder7 said:

1) I'm dubious whether they serve deep fried batter balls or chips with 'curry sauce' in China. I don't really see Scotland's asian community as offering culturally interesting nuggets of cuisine from home, more opportunistic chancers whoring their country's mystique and culture to pocket whitey cash. Good for them. If I was a capatalist slut I would open a Scottish bistro in San Fran selling boiled sheep brains with salt. My millions pinched from gastrically curious rich homosexuals wowed by my cute accent and reformed meat flavoured pates.

2)I've seen prince and the stones. Prince in 97 was the best, I was just 17 and had never seen anything like it. i shook keefs hand at the stones one. The skin felt like marble.

3)Angels With Dirty Faces.

4) I dunno. Sweep it out the door, probably. I can't conciously kill anything, never could. Not even a fly. I'm aware I crush countless familes of bedbugs and bacteria every time I roll over in my bed, but you need some guilt as a counterweight to greed.

5)No. I don't think Dan's physically powerful enough to be an successful rapist.

6)I'm really not the right person to ask. I hate my country.

7)Christ, no. I prefer the Spot books and things like that. Plenty of pictures and I love dogs.
[Edited 12/13/09 12:02pm]

Fauxie said:

don't listen to him!! i've had wonderful food in the uk.

Number23 said:

do you use System 7?

Number23 said:

Around these parts, you simply are not allowed to play Devil's Advocate mister!

Number23 said:

seriously? the Romo journo was an orger? small world indeed...

evenstar3 said:

evenstar3 said:

hurrah for Bovril!

I have always adored you. Your brilliance and wit are alluring. don't think i mean it in an over dealt way, just respect.

Number23 said:

You don't remember me

Number23 said:

And which one would that be
Mind, i have never seen eastenders (BBC soap ) so I need character's name.

ZombieKitten said:

No, plasticine and edible paints.

Muse2NoPharaoh said:

You know it's recipriocated. I'm still looking forward to an invite to the House of Muse!

Nikademus said:

You're Jana's pal and helped stop me from getting banned when Anxiety went a bit mad in the head and thought I was her.