WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary.....

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
~~~

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary....

Day 983 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards..

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now.....

Babynoz, great thread

Steadwood said:

babynoz said:

zaza said:

This was in my email this morning...I thought it was hilarious!

Funny thread. It reminds me of the following saying: "Dogs come when called. Cats take a message and get back to you later." LOL! Gotta love animals!

psychodelicide said:

Neighbours Dogs diary...

"HELP!!!"

"My owner is crazy!"

"She shouts to me in a foreign kanguage, which I have to interpret randomly"

"I get fed chilli and dried pizza"

"I can not rest"

Steadwood said:

The woman downstairs doesn't have that dog anymore (thank God, it barked all the time). I think it died or something.

psychodelicide said:

Are you sure it doesn't just have a sore throat

Steadwood said:

Pretty sure. I used to see the woman downstairs outside walking her dog all the time. I haven't seen her do that in awhile.

psychodelicide said:

Poor woman...what does she shout at now

Steadwood said:

Maybe the dog's gone deaf

Steadwood said:

She's a teacher; she probably hollers at her students.

Steadwood said:

Nah, I'm pretty sure it's dead.

psychodelicide said:

I swear I could see my cat thinking some of those things.

This is great!

babynoz said:

Mine too.

A tabby cat I know "Alien" is like a dog and would probably write his diary like the dog did. He purrs all the time.

Cats a more intelligent than dogs, they have nothing to prove, thats why they don't do tricks or try to impress their owners.
Garfield provides some good introspective into being a cat

"What do you get if you cross a dog and a cat - A very stupid cat"
"Odie's I.Q. is so low, you don't test it, you dig for it"
In one book he ranks the intelligence of pets, at the bottom is rock, dog, amoeba, slug. The top is food processor, then cat then man.

"You don't own a cat, it owns you, think them as being on long term hire"