OK I'm gonna throw this all out for advice because I know some of you people have fairly decent brains and a lot of understanding in your noggins.

Here's the deal.....beware the long post. Skim over if you couldn't be arsed

So for those of you who don't know I ran away from Sydney a few months ago to move to the country on top of a beautiful mountain. The idea for this year was to take six months off then move up here, find a new job and look for a place to buy. Sydney is completely unavoidable and a house there worth $600000 is only $290000 up here. It's a two hour train trip (one-way) into the city.

Now I'd decided to take six months off after losing my job earlier this year. It was a government job with a pay packet of $70000pa where I was in charge of the services provided to international students for all government schools and technical colleges in the state of New South Wales. I lost the job only because it was a secondment position and the guy who was never supposed to come back to it was forced out of his current position with none to go to. The director really wanted me to stay and offered me other positions for which I felt I was not suitable. Forcing the issue and staying in a similar position would have meant I would have had to let go one or two of my staff members to "create" the work for me to stay and as that is not my thing I decided to leave based on my moral standpoint.

I then decided to try something new so I enrolled in an architecture course. It turned out to be not what I was expecting (ie I felt I was fantastic at the designs but terrible at the scientific side and knowledge retention). I've since decided to finish it but only for myself and on my own time....not to make it my priority for a career.

When I moved up here I was doing so with this plan to study, find a new job and buy a house. I was splitting up with my live-in partner and everything was happening at once. Since then we've gotten back together, worked all of the problems out and are very happy, even more so than my previous ex who I was with for seven years. We both are happy and confident in a shared future.

But the only problem is our respective lives are totally in the way. My plans were foiled by the job situation up here (ie none in my field and pay bracket). For him it's the fact that he's been waiting for his work sponsorship visa since January of this year and it still has not been granted. His background in his home country is aged care and he really wants to move into this here and study nursing. If his current work visa is granted he can study part time but if it is denied (which is the feeling I have) he would need to switch to a student visa and study full time. This means fees of about $13000pa and a maximum legal work capability of twenty hours per week. This would mean he can't afford to live where he is (in Sydney).

Now my rent and living costs up here are about 60% of what they are in Sydney. I would hope to find a job in Sydney or Penrith and commute, buy a house and have it paid off much quicker than I could if I was buying down there. But if his visa switches the logical thing to do would be to move down there and rent so we could live together and he would get what he wanted. Iwould also get what I wanted but much slower than if I lived up here. If I bought down there I would be looking at an extra 12 years of mortgage payments!!!!!

So what the fuck should I do!!!!! My lease is up in February. Should I stick it out up here and commute (I really to do love it up here) or should I move back, set up a new home and put off the buying of a house until we are both more stable in our respective lives? I'm sooooo confused as to the best options. If we both continue on our current paths neither of us is going to get where we want to. Advice please kind people!!!

connorhawke said:

never mind all that, come to Thailand with me instead!!!

OK I'm gonna throw this all out for advice because I know some of you people have fairly decent brains and a lot of understanding in your noggins.

Here's the deal.....beware the long post. Skim over if you couldn't be arsed

So for those of you who don't know I ran away from Sydney a few months ago to move to the country on top of a beautiful mountain. The idea for this year was to take six months off then move up here, find a new job and look for a place to buy. Sydney is completely unavoidable and a house there worth $600000 is only $290000 up here. It's a two hour train trip (one-way) into the city.

Now I'd decided to take six months off after losing my job earlier this year. It was a government job with a pay packet of $70000pa where I was in charge of the services provided to international students for all government schools and technical colleges in the state of New South Wales. I lost the job only because it was a secondment position and the guy who was never supposed to come back to it was forced out of his current position with none to go to. The director really wanted me to stay and offered me other positions for which I felt I was not suitable. Forcing the issue and staying in a similar position would have meant I would have had to let go one or two of my staff members to "create" the work for me to stay and as that is not my thing I decided to leave based on my moral standpoint.

I then decided to try something new so I enrolled in an architecture course. It turned out to be not what I was expecting (ie I felt I was fantastic at the designs but terrible at the scientific side and knowledge retention). I've since decided to finish it but only for myself and on my own time....not to make it my priority for a career.

When I moved up here I was doing so with this plan to study, find a new job and buy a house. I was splitting up with my live-in partner and everything was happening at once. Since then we've gotten back together, worked all of the problems out and are very happy, even more so than my previous ex who I was with for seven years. We both are happy and confident in a shared future.

But the only problem is our respective lives are totally in the way. My plans were foiled by the job situation up here (ie none in my field and pay bracket). For him it's the fact that he's been waiting for his work sponsorship visa since January of this year and it still has not been granted. His background in his home country is aged care and he really wants to move into this here and study nursing. If his current work visa is granted he can study part time but if it is denied (which is the feeling I have) he would need to switch to a student visa and study full time. This means fees of about $13000pa and a maximum legal work capability of twenty hours per week. This would mean he can't afford to live where he is (in Sydney).

Now my rent and living costs up here are about 60% of what they are in Sydney. I would hope to find a job in Sydney or Penrith and commute, buy a house and have it paid off much quicker than I could if I was buying down there. But if his visa switches the logical thing to do would be to move down there and rent so we could live together and he would get what he wanted. Iwould also get what I wanted but much slower than if I lived up here. If I bought down there I would be looking at an extra 12 years of mortgage payments!!!!!

So what the fuck should I do!!!!! My lease is up in February. Should I stick it out up here and commute (I really to do love it up here) or should I move back, set up a new home and put off the buying of a house until we are both more stable in our respective lives? I'm sooooo confused as to the best options. If we both continue on our current paths neither of us is going to get where we want to. Advice please kind people!!!

ZombieKitten said:

Brilliant advice. When are you going to Thailand?

TOOHOT! Although my uncle does live there.....

Make this a separate thread. It's too important to get lost on this one.

connorhawke said:

we go end January!

Vendetta1 said:

Good idea. I think I will.....thanks.



we go end January!

I need to go to the chiropractor, but I don't want to shell out the $$ right now.

connorhawke said:

we go end January!

baroque said:

sort of, but with glue and pictures of cherubs and roses

connorhawke said:

Make this a separate thread. It's too important to get lost on this one.

i make shitty decisions when it comes 2 women.

I make shitty decisions when it comes to men...still.

littlemissG said:

wish u well

i make shitty decisions when it comes 2 women.

JustErin said:

Why do you think you do that?

nyse said:

I make shitty decisions when it comes to jobs. Don't laugh, it's true!

psychodelicide said:

I am beginning to wonder if there is such a thing as a good decision when it comes to jobs, unless you go into business for yourself. That takes alot of confidence in yourself and your ideas. Don't have any great ideas, except that decoupage idea??? Anybody want to buy my decoupage jewelry racks??? Anybody at all?? It's been so long I don't even know if I am spelling Decoupage right!!!

Deadflow3r said:

I hear ya, I have thought about going into business for myself many, many times!! Corporate America is bullshit, if you ask me. Decoupage jewelry sounds pretty. Got any pix to share? I won't be able to buy any due to money constrictions, but I would like to see your work.

Deadflow3r said:

Insecurity, low self esteem when it comes to men, daddy issues...I dunno.

psychodelicide said:

Unfortunately I gave them all away before leaving Atlanta in 1999 and haven't done any since. It was quite fun actually and even though I ment that post sarcastically it might actually be fun to start it again. Give me a month and I might actually have something to post

JustErin said:

Have you ever given yourself a big break from men? Like tell yourself a will not sleep with any guy for 6 months to a year to give myself time to rethink this issue?

I make shitty decisions when it comes to men...still.

JustErin said:

I believe that's called a "Hot Carl".

Mars23 said:

Or is it Dirty Sanchez?