Describe the bestus and the worstus....


GO!!!!!

nothing comes to mind either way

Best... squirting and an orgasm every 4-5 minutes, sweat running, with every position guaranteeing an orgasm because dude had the flexibility of a rubber band. He sucked my coochie for hours and he was the only person I could enjoy the 69 position with and actually cum that way. The sex was mind blowing.

the worst.... phimosis dick run out the house after he sucked me because I almost threw up when I I tried to deal with his okra dick running down the stairs throwing my clothes on. How bad is the sex when you don't care if you leave your purse behind?

Best sex: with my last ex boyfriend. All the licking and sucking and fingers and flipping and spanking and wall scratching-up thrusting....whew!! I hate to admit it but dude is still on my mind sometimes. My next lover will have to seriously work his butt muscles to top all the insanity my bed has seen. We started out as demure and ended up breaking a very expensive couch playing loveseat mambo!

Worst sex: UGH.... Too many of those. I will combine them. 1 dude thought he was a jackrabbit. Since he was "big", I guess he thought he had the magic. 1 dude was just small. He took two hours to lead up to 30 seconds and told me I was too wet. Another dude was also too small and he BIT an "area". All he could do was eat anyway. And he slobbed...blech.

I think with those bad ones, I was just young, lonely, and dumb. I wanted to be someone I wasn't. I just can't do casual sex (as far as I know...they've all been bad!) and seem to do better in relationships.

I kinda miss that part...the lovemaking and then the wild, sweaty, dirty talk filled nights... I haven't found anyone yet, though. Maybe I should try hook ups again now that I'm older and know what I like.

best is the guy i fell head over heels over.

he ended up breaking my heart like he said he would.

i'd still go out with him if he called. i know i'm sick


he does porn i've posted his photo here a few times though i've never stated who he was.

the worst sex was my first time and i'm glad i never have to repeat it.

paintedlady said:

I'm sorry but that has to be the best sex sound byte of the year!!! If I could I would send this in to my ex-editors at Cosmo

paintedlady said:

Ottensen said:

I swear I just wanted OUT.OF.THERE! I didn't care about identity theft at that point, take my credits cards, my ID, my favorite lip gloss shit keep the whole bag, just get me outta here! I didn't even put my shoes on, I was barefoot when I left his house, RUNNING away. He did come to me (shirt backwards) to give me a ride home with my purse in his hand.

He was like, "What's the rush baby?". I lied like a rug and gave him a million excuses why I had to go home at that very moment. I think he already knew why. He just opened the door to the SUV and told me to get in, he even commented on the fact that my shoes were off.

When we got within a two block distance from my house I told him I was fine and practically dove out his car before it came to a stop and jogged to my house.
The next day I took inventory, I left my panties, stockings, my favorite silver earrings, oil, and condoms at his crib...its OK though, I just had to run from that dick.

best sex i had? ...when we started, we smoked, she bathed me and when we were done my body jumped everytime she slightly touched me

worst? ...she fell alseep giving me head (i mean, dick IN mouth)...i literally removed my self, placed her head on the pillow, and went and had hot chocolate with her roommate...

just wasnt a good look all around...sex with her kinda felt like sex with a plastic bag, and i didnt wanna believe it but we had sex 3 times

SirPsycho said:

that sounds kinda suspect, metaphorical even....

SirPsycho said:

OMG

Best sex - alot & often

worst sex - rape

Mach said:

dayum

Best sex: I was 20 years old, in the army, and I hooked up with this 44 year old lady. She rode me like a penny horse at the store. She was yelling and screaming calling me "Mandingo" and crap. It was funny and sexy, all at the same time. And the "Head" oh my gosh!! She could do some damage.

Worst Sex: Getting my freak on with this fine girl. She is licking the joy stick and holding the family jewels. Then all of a sudden, she is trying to lick my dookie shoot!!

I am nasty, but NOT that nasty. To me, that door says Exit Only. Do not enter.

JellyBean said:

roodboi said:

nah...she told me when she met me she didnt like black men

SirPsycho said:

man, I thought everybody was equal opportunity when it comes to fucking....

SirPsycho said:

Wow!

nothing as of late.

the first time though... that was great.

I clicked this with full intentions of answering...but when I tried to describe the worst I just started laughing...too hard to type it lol

I have had lots of really good ones though..and while I could probably make a top 5ish list..Im not sure I could pick one.

roodboi said:

well you know what...for that matter it might've been different...i wouldnta known tho

MoniGram said:

yeah...to her defense...it was late(early) as hell and she was pretty drunk but..wow..

i was like "how comfortable are you with a dick in your mouth that you fell asleep???"

SirPsycho said:

That is a serious case of narcolepsy.

JellyBean said:

my penis was highly offended

SirPsycho said:

did she snore, 'cause that might have felt interesting

roodboi said:

nah...but now that you mention it, i do remember "helping her bob" and then having the impulse to take my hand away and see what happens

that was an interesting night... the next morning she told me how much of an asshole i was for not wanting to be her man (not that she didnt have one already, of course )

Worst?
Meeting a hot guy at a club and going back to a hotel room. He says, "Give me 15 minutes to prepare". I go out for a smoke, come back in 10 and find him squatting over the sink cleaning out his ass. The smell hit me first, then the sight of the brown water as he tried to stuff the larger pieces of shit down the plug hole.

Needless to say, I went without.

thebumpsquad said:

eeeeuuughhh!!!!!
you smoke?