I'm not sure I have so many soft spots

you mean like a fear of being a bad mother? (if anyone suggested anything like that to me, I'd knock their frikkin block off!!!! ) This is probably my biggest sore/soft spot/fear, whatever you call it.

I've found that talking about your stuff, bringing it out into the open in a loud ( ) non-tentative way, can totally take the spotlight off me if I feel under scrutiny. My shyness is going away as I realise we are all damaged, insecure humans, trying just as hard as I am, struggling for acceptance. Knowing that, and becoming experienced and competent, being good at what you do, knowing you can really help, all help deal daily with issues like this, and is great for self confidence and esteem.

I'm totally the opposite of tough front, I don't try to hide my flaws, I apologise for them, and laugh at them when appropriate

Maybe I'm more damaged than I realize?

Nah, fuck that.

I'm not sure I have so many soft spots

you mean like a fear of being a bad mother? (if anyone suggested anything like that to me, I'd knock their frikkin block off!!!! ) This is probably my biggest sore/soft spot/fear, whatever you call it.

I've found that talking about your stuff, bringing it out into the open in a loud ( ) non-tentative way, can totally take the spotlight off me if I feel under scrutiny. My shyness is going away as I realise we are all damaged, insecure humans, trying just as hard as I am, struggling for acceptance. Knowing that, and becoming experienced and competent, being good at what you do, knowing you can really help, all help deal daily with issues like this, and is great for self confidence and esteem.

I'm totally the opposite of tough front, I don't try to hide my flaws, I apologise for them, and laugh at them when appropriate

according to what you've said earlier, you're quite vulnerable about your appearance.

everyone is going around holding stuff in that they hope nobody will find out, but sometimes I think, well what is so bad if they know?

Maybe I'm more damaged than I realize?

Nah, fuck that.

i wish i could learn how to do that.

they could use it against you.

they could use it against you.

you have some awesome friends, I don't mean the general population, but those close to you that you trust.

What sort of vulnerabilities are you talking about? How I deal with them depends on what they are.

No, it's not all that. Overall I love and accept myself, and can see my own strengths and weaknesses with some measure of clarity.

I can see how that could be construed, though, based on what I've posted. It's actually my few insecurities/weaknesses that sometimes make me act like a crazy bitch. I'm not proud of it. I've had a giant chip on my shoulder since I was a tiny child.

what kind of people are they then? not the kinds of folk you want to associate with really

No, it's not all that. Overall I love and accept myself, and can see my own strengths and weaknesses with some measure of clarity.

I can see how that could be construed, though, based on what I've posted. It's actually my few insecurities/weaknesses that sometimes make me act like a crazy bitch. I'm not proud of it. I've had a giant chip on my shoulder since I was a tiny child.

what kind of people are they then? not the kinds of folk you want to associate with really

everyone is going around holding stuff in that they hope nobody will find out, but sometimes I think, well what is so bad if they know?

they could use it against you.

Or just be disgusted by you because of your weakness/fears or the way they make you act.

Some people do it without meaning to, because of their own damage.

and even if they DO mean it, it's also because of their own deficiencies, their own insecurities, their own muddled path in life

I have weeded out the problematic people from my life to be honest

Self consciousness and being vulnerable are not the same things.

I would argue that being self-conscious is a vulnerability.

I don't think so. I can be totally self conscious without really opening up to why that is. I feel self loathing and self consciousness every day but it's not like I open myself enough to ever really talk about it. I'm not comfortable with feeling that way. I'd rather suffer in solitude.

it's harder to do when you've elected to live as a kinda public figure of sorts.