zaza said:

Of course I've slept with someone I've loved - I was in a 10 year committed relationship. It's so ridiculous when people use this crap answer.

The act of sex is the same whether I'm madly in love or not. Emotional attachment, love and sex have nothing to do with each other. I don't show my love by fucking, I think that's just silly.

So, I ask again...how is it actually better when you're in love?

JustErin said:

beause your partner wont get all pissy when you tell them to make you a a sandwhich when you're done...

JustErin said:

I don't know how to answer your question When you love someone, the whole act of sex is just..I don't know I guess this can't be answered by words

roodboi said:

True!

zaza said:

Interesting...

No real answer then.

JustErin said:

SCNDLS said:

I'm just curious for someone, anyone to explain how it's different.

JustErin said:

I'll try.

For me, when I'm in love the sex is different in the following ways:

1. It's important to me on deep levels to please the person I love. I'm more selfless. If I'm not in love with the person, I am much more selfish in bed. With the person I love, I'll give and give 'til I'm exhausted because that brings me joy - precisely because I love the person.

2. There is an openness, a sense of comfort and trust, that isn't present with someone I don't love. This increases adventurousness and pleasure, decreases self-consciousness and inhibition, and just makes the whole thing more enjoyable to me.

PunkMistress said:

Excellent examples. Thanks.

I'm that way as well with people I am not in love with. I'm a giver regardless of how I feel about them.

And I'm also super open regardless and comfortable as well...because I never sleep with people I don't know well and totally trust...but that doesn't mean I love them.

JustErin said:

Yes I can do it, had been doing it for years and if things don't work out with this boy then I'll do it again!

I mean it's different than being in love with someone....sometimes its better, sometimes its not.

Erin, just because your a bottomless void pit of emotion doesnt mean the rest of these people are....

and the void bottomless pit reference has nothing to do with your cooch...

roodboi said:

roodboi said:

I'm not devoid of emotion...I just don't involve emotion with sex. I show it in other non sexual ways.

JustErin said:

ok, let me ask a question...

you've loved somebody before, right?

you had sex with that person you loved, right?

at any point while bodies were pumping, did you ever say I love you??

well definitely the best sex I ever had was with someone I loved, and I've had good sex with folk I convinced myself that I loved (but probably didn't), and I've had good sex with folk I would never love, and I've had some really bad sex and hell, no I did not love them.

if you are having sex with someone you love it should be awesome anyway!

but I've gotten older, wiser, and jaded, and I don't thinnk sex has to always go hand in hand with love. Seeing as I'm not the whole "marriage and kids" type anyway, it's cool. Half the time I don't even want to deal with people anyway, let alone some foolishness with some dude over sex and love. Unfortunately my experience has been not that great in the love department and I'd rather not really go there to deal with lies and games and bullshit just to have sex. I'm at the point where it's like can we both just bust a nut and then somebody needs to go the hell home. I've had too many men all in my personal space stalking me and shit. Let me breathe! (and I used to be big on cuddling and all...hmmmph, jaded indeed)

Whoever invented the vibrator and dildo is the best inventor EVAH!!!

roodboi said:

Um...never. I've said, "I love your cock" though.

JustErin said:

you're going to hell...

PunkMistress said:

Well put, PM.

Just that, I'm the opposite way as in the bolded part. When in love I become more selfish...I want him to give me, give me, give me.

JustErin said:

roodboi said:

I do say I love you though...just not during sex.

roodboi said:

She's a female version of me.

JustErin said:

I know you do, and I love you, too...

of course not, we've never had sex...

JustErin said:

ha, an "I love you" from a girl during the formation of the beast with two backs takes me off guard.

JustErin said:

will you tell your son that sex is unrelated to love?

whistle said:

Yup.

I'm laughing because whilst I read this thread Prince is crooning, "I love you in me"

JustErin said:

So, now you're a bad mother

whistle said:

What does her kid have to do with this convo?

I can also do sex without drama!

Nope, can't do it. Just not that type of person to give my body to someone casually that I don't care about. I don't knock other people who do, if they can do it then its their thing, but for me, nada.