I think I have a good one...
I met this guy off of Craigslist. I should've suspected something was fishy because in the picture in his ad, was just an ass shot. So I asked him if he had any other pictures, and he said those were the only ones he had. So my horny whore slut ass said "Okay! Be over in 30 minutes!!" So I go there, and I ask for "Mike" or whatever his name was...and some middle aged guy comes says "That's me." And I look him up and down and say "Junior or Senior?" And he says "No, just me." So I went in anyway. We're sitting on the couch, and he says "So what do you want to do?" and I said "Well I don't know, let's get naked and go from there." Dude had like -0.000002% penis, and I thought "Okay, he is TOTALLY bottoming..." So we get on the bed and I start humping him...about 23 humps in, I see he's leaking some brown shit, I put my head down there and sniff, and I wish I hadn't. My nose wanted to run up inside my head. I asked him "Um...Is that lube?" he reached back and sniffed his hand and said "....I don't think so."

Ok I gotta share my worst...


So my man at the time kept beggin' and beggin' to fuck on my period. Yes I know.... Ewww.

Anyway I got tired of his whiny ass so I figure just this once. How bad could it be? Chile bad aint the word. In fact, messy aint the word either. Dude caught me on a heavy day. My Motrin must have worn off or something cuz I was cramping like a muthafucka and OMG there was just blood everywhere and it was hot and sticky and wet. I mean i felt it all on my thighs and runnin' down my ass and the sheets were damp but dude just was having an out of body experience or something. He's pumpin like his life depends on it (hell, maybe it did) and he's moaning and groanin' and talkin' "ooh baby you feel so good" and he's hitting those high notes which had me lookin at him like . So I'm thinking he's about to come and what does this mofo do? He goes down on me. Before I could say "Nucca is you crazy?" he upped and stuck his tongue in mouth tryna kiss me. I had my own blood in my mouth. On top of me vampiring myself, slapping him upside his head and telling him to GTFO (dick swinging and all), I had destroyed my Ralph Lauren bedding which cost me $375 fuckin' dollars! I have since learned that just as you need to have period panties, you also need period bedding.

While having your period, just fuck in the shower. No big deal.

Ok I gotta share my worst...


So my man at the time kept beggin' and beggin' to fuck on my period. Yes I know.... Ewww.

Anyway I got tired of his whiny ass so I figure just this once. How bad could it be? Chile bad aint the word. In fact, messy aint the word either. Dude caught me on a heavy day. My Motrin must have worn off or something cuz I was cramping like a muthafucka and OMG there was just blood everywhere and it was hot and sticky and wet. I mean i felt it all on my thighs and runnin' down my ass and the sheets were damp but dude just was having an out of body experience or something. He's pumpin like his life depends on it (hell, maybe it did) and he's moaning and groanin' and talkin' "ooh baby you feel so good" and he's hitting those high notes which had me lookin at him like . So I'm thinking he's about to come and what does this mofo do? He goes down on me. Before I could say "Nucca is you crazy?" he upped and stuck his tongue in mouth tryna kiss me. I had my own blood in my mouth. On top of me vampiring myself, slapping him upside his head and telling him to GTFO (dick swinging and all), I had destroyed my Ralph Lauren bedding which cost me $375 fuckin' dollars! I have since learned that just as you need to have period panties, you also need period bedding.

I think I have a good one...
I met this guy off of Craigslist. I should've suspected something was fishy because in the picture in his ad, was just an ass shot. So I asked him if he had any other pictures, and he said those were the only ones he had. So my horny whore slut ass said "Okay! Be over in 30 minutes!!" So I go there, and I ask for "Mike" or whatever his name was...and some middle aged guy comes says "That's me." And I look him up and down and say "Junior or Senior?" And he says "No, just me." So I went in anyway. We're sitting on the couch, and he says "So what do you want to do?" and I said "Well I don't know, let's get naked and go from there." Dude had like -0.000002% penis, and I thought "Okay, he is TOTALLY bottoming..." So we get on the bed and I start humping him...about 23 humps in, I see he's leaking some brown shit, I put my head down there and sniff, and I wish I hadn't. My nose wanted to run up inside my head. I asked him "Um...Is that lube?" he reached back and sniffed his hand and said "....I don't think so."

ScarletScandal said:

ScarletScandal said:

I think I have a good one...
I met this guy off of Craigslist. I should've suspected something was fishy because in the picture in his ad, was just an ass shot. So I asked him if he had any other pictures, and he said those were the only ones he had. So my horny whore slut ass said "Okay! Be over in 30 minutes!!" So I go there, and I ask for "Mike" or whatever his name was...and some middle aged guy comes says "That's me." And I look him up and down and say "Junior or Senior?" And he says "No, just me." So I went in anyway. We're sitting on the couch, and he says "So what do you want to do?" and I said "Well I don't know, let's get naked and go from there." Dude had like -0.000002% penis, and I thought "Okay, he is TOTALLY bottoming..." So we get on the bed and I start humping him...about 23 humps in, I see he's leaking some brown shit, I put my head down there and sniff, and I wish I hadn't. My nose wanted to run up inside my head. I asked him "Um...Is that lube?" he reached back and sniffed his hand and said "....I don't think so."

ScarletScandal said:

ewwwww. I guess there was a reason he didn't post any parts. I hate hookups with tricks like that.

LadyLuvSexxy said:

I make sure I get face pictures now, AND that they know what an ENEMA is. It's a grown ass shame that a grown ass bottom don't know how to clean his own ass. Uh uh.. after you wipe, you still got work to do.

LadyLuvSexxy said:

I make sure I get face pictures now, AND that they know what an ENEMA is. It's a grown ass shame that a grown ass bottom don't know how to clean his own ass. Uh uh.. after you wipe, you still got work to do.

ScarletScandal said:

Well that's extreme laziness in his case. Such nastiness! I also request face pics. But sometimes even that does no good. I have a few stories on that...lol.

Just...wow...you'd think a grown man would take care of that. Too lazy to scrub and irrigate and clean up...whoooowee....keep your pants on, then..lol.

ScarletScandal said:

I think I'm gonna have to take a shower after reading some of these "worst sex" stories. LOL

how attracted I wasMy best sex wasn't so much about mechanics, juabout the woman and to her.st how I felt

Worst sex was probably in the kitchen trying to be quiet because there was a house full of people sleeping. We were on the cold floor and she kept complaining that it hurt. And we still got caught before we were done!

I enjoy sex during my menstrual cycle, but I'm not a heavy bleeder and it sorta "shuts off" during intercourse. I lay a towel down but there's usually never any blood, even had him go down on me and I was terrified, but there was no blood, not even when I squirted... and yes, I kissed him after.

I've been told by more than one guy that I have "clean periods". Gotta hose your ass off extremely well beforehand though, so the coochie is fresh.

paintedlady said:

I am very interested when you use the word "squirted" You used it in your previous post on this subject. I'm just curious do you really squirt? How does that feel and if you do squirt do you do it with every orgasm? Just wondering..... I seen a amateur vid of a girl that squirted and I really liked it but I noticed she had to be manually got off that way. Is that always the case. I need a squirting 101 class.

irrisistableB said:

Squirting happens like this.. while I climax and I keep stimulating the clitoris the same way, with the same vigor after the orgasm, then the vagina sprays out. Not sure if its pee, but it doesn't smell of urine, and its not yellow, but it feels like pee.

My legs shake uncontrollably when this happens as well, and it is best to make a woman squirt during cunnilingus and digital g-spot stimulation at the same time.

Most women don't do this because since it feels like you might pee, they stop and pull back preventing the squirting. So fear will stop a woman from squirting, especially if she isn't used to aggressive clitoral stimulation.

paintedlady said:

Marry me???

noimageatall said:

irrisistableB said:

Squirting happens like this.. while I climax and I keep stimulating the clitoris the same way, with the same vigor after the orgasm, then the vagina sprays out. Not sure if its pee, but it doesn't smell of urine, and its not yellow, but it feels like pee.

My legs shake uncontrollably when this happens as well, and it is best to make a woman squirt during cunnilingus and digital g-spot stimulation at the same time.

Most women don't do this because since it feels like you might pee, they stop and pull back preventing the squirting. So fear will stop a woman from squirting, especially if she isn't used to aggressive clitoral stimulation.

paintedlady said:

oh, I have felt that feeling and thought I had to pee. thanks for that tidbit. let me go try this shit out

irrisistableB said:

Squirting happens like this.. while I climax and I keep stimulating the clitoris the same way, with the same vigor after the orgasm, then the vagina sprays out. Not sure if its pee, but it doesn't smell of urine, and its not yellow, but it feels like pee.

My legs shake uncontrollably when this happens as well, and it is best to make a woman squirt during cunnilingus and digital g-spot stimulation at the same time.
Most women don't do this because since it feels like you might pee, they stop and pull back preventing the squirting. So fear will stop a woman from squirting, especially if she isn't used to aggressive clitoral stimulation.

I enjoy sex during my menstrual cycle, but I'm not a heavy bleeder and it sorta "shuts off" during intercourse. I lay a towel down but there's usually never any blood, even had him go down on me and I was terrified, but there was no blood, not even when I squirted... and yes, I kissed him after.

I've been told by more than one guy that I have "clean periods". Gotta hose your ass off extremely well beforehand though, so the coochie is fresh.

ScarletScandal said:

paintedlady said:

I'm puttin' yo name in the prayer box next Sunday

paintedlady said: