thebumpsquad said:

Ok, you win!

Best sex: I get it all the time...

Worst Sex: Can't think that far...

I think I'm gonna have to take a shower after reading some of these "worst sex" stories. LOL

My best sex wasn't so much about mechanics, just how I felt about the woman and how attracted I was to her.

Worst sex was probably in the kitchen trying to be quiet because there was a house full of people sleeping. We were on the cold floor and she kept complaining that it hurt. And we still got caught before we were done!

xpertluva said:

i never wanna have someone walk in on me while i'm havin sex. I would bug out lol

DanceWme said:

what about the time at p-diddys pool party

Christopher said:

i forgot about that shiiiiit

it was dark

DanceWme said:

bad boy...we wont stop...

pplrain said:

Did you start having sex when you were 9?

Christopher said:

DanceWme said:

paintedlady said:

No. 21 to be exact, but I was always in exclusive loving relationships so I can't relate to a "worst sex experience". I rather not have sex than have it with someone I don't love and I don't fall in love easily, I'm very picky.

Worst?
Meeting a hot guy at a club and going back to a hotel room. He says, "Give me 15 minutes to prepare". I go out for a smoke, come back in 10 and find him squatting over the sink cleaning out his ass. The smell hit me first, then the sight of the brown water as he tried to stuff the larger pieces of shit down the plug hole.

Needless to say, I went without.

Best... squirting and an orgasm every 4-5 minutes, sweat running, with every position guaranteeing an orgasm because dude had the flexibility of a rubber band. He sucked my coochie for hours and he was the only person I could enjoy the 69 position with and actually cum that way. The sex was mind blowing.

the worst.... phimosis dick run out the house after he sucked me because I almost threw up when I I tried to deal with his okra dick running down the stairs throwing my clothes on. How bad is the sex when you don't care if you leave your purse behind?

minneapolisgenius said:

co

paintedlady said:

No. 21 to be exact, but I was always in exclusive loving relationships so I can't relate to a "worst sex experience". I rather not have sex than have it with someone I don't love and I don't fall in love easily, I'm very picky.

Best:

It was a fivesome. All five of us sucking dicks and licking everybody all over. One sucking dick, one sucking one ball, another sucking another ball, one licking the chest, just multiple people giving each other attention one by one. It ended up turning into a big arguement though when one guy couldn't control himself and didn't warn one of the guys in time. He shot his come in the motherfucker's hair and it was ON then.

Worst:

My first, only, and last internet hookup. I should have never given a truthful description of my car to someone on the internet. That way, if I didn't like what I saw, I could simply keep driving. Anyway, back in 2001, this guy was in town and was staying in a local hotel. He described himself as a white guy in his early 50s with a hairy chest. I was expecting a Tom Selleck or John Ritter type. I arrived in the parking lot and he was standing outside to meet me. He was nothing like I pictured and nothing like the description he gave me either.

I figured I would just go inside, have a few drinks, talk, and then leave. I got inside, had some drinks, and that motherfucker kept talking about our conversation we had earlier about what we would do to each other. Then he grabbed my dick through my pants. I figured, OK, I'll just let him suck it and then I'll be on my way.

Then, that motherfucker got undressed. He was flabby, completely hairless, and pale white as a ghost. Then, he turned around and spread his ass open. I said "Oh no, I don't fuck". He said "I know you said you don't get fucked but I just assumed that you fuck". I said "no I don't". His little ole dick was around three inches on hard and he wanted me to suck it. I put that whole little thing in my mouth with both balls included and just did it for about three or four seconds, then I thought to myself "hell naw" and stopped.

That motherfucker got down and started sucking my dick. He was about the ugliest motherfucker I had ever seen. Hell, I couldn't even stand looking down. Then he kept wanting me to suck him some. I told him I really didn't suck dick and didn't like it. To shut him up, I played with his little jalapeno a little while while he sucked me. Then, he got up, turned the light off, put his big ass in my face and said "You're gonna fuck me". I said "Oh no, I'm not". Then he kept putting that ass up in the air saying "Don't you want this hot juicy pussy I got". Honey, that pale white ass was glowing in the fucking dark. The damn thing looked like the moon over Miami. I told him once again that I don't fuck. Then he turned the light on, put his ass in my face, spread his cheeks wide open and said "Don't you wanna eat this pussy". I said no. Then he grabbed my face and pushed it towards his asshole and I jumped up and said "hell naw" and got the fuck up out there.
.
.
.
[Edited 11/17/09 20:40pm]

When he wanted me to suck him, I didn't want to hurt his feelings and it wasn't going to kill me to do it.

eeeeuuughhh!!!!!
you smoke?

So Desiree are you gonna tell us your best/worst or are you just gonna keep laughing at ours????

muirdo said:

I know, because the worst part of the story is my cigarette addiction, right?
The smell of the smoke barely managed to disguise the reek of his bowels though, so every cloud has a silver, but tar stained lining.

Describe the bestus and the worstus....


GO!!!!!

Best:

It was a fivesome. All five of us sucking dicks and licking everybody all over. One sucking dick, one sucking one ball, another sucking another ball, one licking the chest, just multiple people giving each other attention one by one. It ended up turning into a big arguement though when one guy couldn't control himself and didn't warn one of the guys in time. He shot his come in the motherfucker's hair and it was ON then.

Worst:

My first, only, and last internet hookup. I should have never given a truthful description of my car to someone on the internet. That way, if I didn't like what I saw, I could simply keep driving. Anyway, back in 2001, this guy was in town and was staying in a local hotel. He described himself as a white guy in his early 50s with a hairy chest. I was expecting a Tom Selleck or John Ritter type. I arrived in the parking lot and he was standing outside to meet me. He was nothing like I pictured and nothing like the description he gave me either.

I figured I would just go inside, have a few drinks, talk, and then leave. I got inside, had some drinks, and that motherfucker kept talking about our conversation we had earlier about what we would do to each other. Then he grabbed my dick through my pants. I figured, OK, I'll just let him suck it and then I'll be on my way.

Then, that motherfucker got undressed. He was flabby, completely hairless, and pale white as a ghost. Then, he turned around and spread his ass open. I said "Oh no, I don't fuck". He said "I know you said you don't get fucked but I just assumed that you fuck". I said "no I don't". His little ole dick was around three inches on hard and he wanted me to suck it. I put that whole little thing in my mouth with both balls included and just did it for about three or four seconds, then I thought to myself "hell naw" and stopped.

That motherfucker got down and started sucking my dick. He was about the ugliest motherfucker I had ever seen. Hell, I couldn't even stand looking down. Then he kept wanting me to suck him some. I told him I really didn't suck dick and didn't like it. To shut him up, I played with his little jalapeno a little while while he sucked me. Then, he got up, turned the light off, put his big ass in my face and said "You're gonna fuck me". I said "Oh no, I'm not". Then he kept putting that ass up in the air saying "Don't you want this hot juicy pussy I got". Honey, that pale white ass was glowing in the fucking dark. The damn thing looked like the moon over Miami. I told him once again that I don't fuck. Then he turned the light on, put his ass in my face, spread his cheeks wide open and said "Don't you wanna eat this pussy". I said no. Then he grabbed my face and pushed it towards his asshole and I jumped up and said "hell naw" and got the fuck up out there.
.
.
.
[Edited 11/17/09 20:40pm]

thebumpsquad said:

I was being a charitable whore that day. Some folks donate to the Salvation Army, hey, I was just doing my part for the cause.