bboy87 said:

So Matt, uh, did this happen on the trip to Miami?

thats question number 1...is that a girl thing? like i dont know how someone could do that, or rather i'd think i'd be looked at funny if i take a trip with someone i dont like when i know they like me...but thats me...and i know quite a few girls will...so is that a gender thing? ...whatever it is, can someone help me understand how that happens?

It's not sincere to accept a trip from anyone, male or female if you do not like the person.[/b...

[b](question 2) how do you know when you're simply behind the ball in life...or you're just a different person than the people you fall for...


Unfortunately, I have said the same kind of thing to a guy before, but in the dating stage before it got serious. It was not because he was "behind the ball in life" we were really just too different. I was more of a driving personality, wanting to do things, go places etc and he was more relaxed and contented with where he was. I honestly felt terrible, because he was a nice guy but in the end I saved him a lot of heart ache.

You should never let what someone says though about you, ever define who you are. People ARE just different. And that comes with background, personality etc.

so which is it? am i bum? or am i just falling for girls who want the moon?

You are falling for girls who want the moon. Thing is, once the moon has been reached, they will still not be satisfied. Many other things come into play in long term relationships. Just a thought. Sometimes we're attracted to people who have qualities that we don't have. They're not always the best choices, though sometimes it can work for a while. People don't change, they always return back to themselves so what we might have wanted in the beginning could change with time, and it often does. So if you enjoy your lifestyle, you should find someone that does too.


as i currently stand, [u]i have a job, an apt within reach (i plan to move out in a month or two), and no kids or debt...

Then everything is under control and you'll be a fine catch for someone who is more suited to your personality.


but i dont get it...i dont know how to feel...

Break ups are hard. Maybe you need to let it all sink in first mentally. Writing about it is a good step. The feelings will come. The feelings you feel right now are probably not what you want to feel anyway which is why they're somewhere on hold. You're obviously not denying anything that's happened which means your angry phase might come quicker and thereafer you'll probably get to the feeling stage & living out the feelings. From then on it will be smooth sailing. You'll accept, be wiser for the experieince and eventually one day when you're older you'll look back and be grateful that you didn't end up marrying this girl or having kids with her. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you!

i seriously dont know what to think...for all my "for show"-confidence...im too insecure for this shit...

Believe me, we are all too insecure for this shit. We all put on that "show" confidence. We need to, in order to assure ourselves that we're ok. And that's a good thing. Good that we're vulnerable and also able to protect ourselves by putting on a "face" when we need to.

but i guess thats usually how it is right? ...somebody has to be less satisfied...like those are the odds i imagine...

Exactly. So mentally you CAN digest it. Emotionally it takes more time. Feelings are more complex than thoughts which rationalise things.

Good luck and know that you will grow from it all and meet someone someday who deserves you, accepts you and loves you for who and what you are!

any thoughts?

sextonseven said:

bboy87 said:

dont worry about that...thats how new yorkers be

SirPsycho said:

DanceWme said:

Right? Dude's gonna hang out with someone from Jersey when he visits NY.

sextonseven said:

accordin to her? no..hell if i know tho

she said she has no desire to see this woman naked

sextonseven said:

that is actually really funny!!

N-E-W-A-R-K yeah, come again...

accordin to her? no..hell if i know tho

she said she has no desire to see this woman naked

SirPsycho said:

And really, people are going to argue over my professional assessment?!

RenHoek said:

People get Jersey and NY mixed up though, kinda how people mix up San Francisco with the rest of the Bay Area

SirPsycho said:

And she still agreed to the trip? I would have at least thrown a little something her way out of guilt. If 12 years of Catholic school taught me anything, it's that guilt can make you do all kinds of stuff.

sammij said:

we need to talk about your attention to detail sweetie

bboy87 said:

So Matt, uh, did this happen on the trip to Miami?

SirPsycho said:

SirPsycho said:

It's my compensation for not being born with a penis.

SirPsycho said:

It's my compensation for not being born with a penis.

sammij said:

hush child.. i've all the penis you need remember?

sammij said:

I got some if you need some

SirPsycho said:

really now...

bboy87 said:

sammij said:

well...some of it at least...

hell i'll even through in an amnesia inducing tongue

sammij said:

SirPsycho said:

.... keep talkin'

sammij said:

yeah..uh huh

SirPsycho said:

you reduced the offer, so i tried bargaining