I thought Sissy was another way to say sister.

or making pee pee.

if all I call somebody is sissy then they should feel pretty good...
I know better insults than that!

BlackAdder7 said:

It is


Rhianna is Jessica's sissy and Jess is Rhianna's sissy -

Jess is an Aunt sissy and so on and so on

I guess maybe that's one reason why I haven't really tied "sissy" to meaning weak or anything negitive

I've been a Sissy all my life and always thought that was a good thing

With the wonderful help from all of you, I replied to my friend with the following academic treatise:

I think I was aware of the connotations of the word when I used it. As a feminist and student of cultural semiotics, I unveiled it with liberty considering the word sissy expressed perfectly what I was trying to say. It contained a certain tongue-in-cheekness, yes, but in the range of derogatory terms. I do find it to be quaintly innocent, especially considering the context and intent in which it was employed. Sissy implies weakness as tied to the feminine, which ultimately is derogatory to women if used in a negative way. But in referring to my own struggles -- the awkwardness, ostracization, childlike and even playful nature of it -- the word expressed well my own feelings with regard to dealing with myself and the issue of communication...an issue generally assigned to the feminine sphere. It's not like I was talking about football. And sometimes you have to to consider the source, not simply the word itself. Methinks there are bigger fish to fry.

Not that I'm immune to or uninterested in pushing buttons once in while...

Score two points.

heartbeatocean said:

Just because you're grandmother uses it doesn't mean it's not offensive. It is.

Mach said:

But let someone post something you deem offensive and the posts are snipped.
??

ZombieKitten said:

I disagree.
And since when does the user get to determine who is or isn't offended?
If I call women here bitches, can I then protest to the mods that women should not be offended?
Double standard . . .

heartbeatocean said:

I wouldn't call that academic but . . . .

So the listener has to consider the source and work at interpreting what you actually meant?
That is on the communicator. Communicate to the listener what you intend to express, that's the purpose of communication.
Why do I have to consider your background, knowledge, awareness, intelligence etc when it comes to YOU attempting to transmit a message?
IF you say what you mean, then we're good.

I do find the word offensive, although no one calls me a sissy. I would use wuss.

SUPRMAN said:

Reaching

Show me a thread where I snipped something because I was offended

seriously

Mods usually snip comments because they were reported by another person as "offensive"

Nice try though


typo
[Edited 11/14/09 9:12am]

Mach said:

Ok, Admittedly I can't ever know that 1) someone reported it as offensive or 2) that you snipped it because YOU were personally offended.

But from where I sit it looks like that.
I just don't understand why some things get snipped or some topics are shut. IT seem arbitrary. So I apologize.

SUPRMAN said:

Oh I can see 100% how it may often look like that and you are right - non Mod people here don't know/see about reports being made or not so again, I can see how arbitary it may often look! No need for the apology, though TY ~ It takes a lot for me to choose to be/feel offended by written words on the internet and often times I struggle with actually making that snip that another feels offended by unless it's just a HUGE effort made by the poster

Mach said:

And we don't always snip something, just 'cause it was reported. That one goes both ways.

CarrieMpls said:

that's the truth

i always thought sissy was the opposite of a tomboy

SUPRMAN said:

Sure it's academic. Lawyers use that line of reasoning all the time.

I cannot control how people interpret my words. There will never be a solid fixed universal interpretation. As I stated in my treatise, I communicated exactly how I felt when I wrote "Communication is not for sissies." If the complexity of that statement and all its levels of connotation fly over your head, then so be it. Or if you're so attached to your own personal meaning of it, despite context and source, so be it.

You definitely do not have to consider my background, knowledge, awareness, or intelligence. But I wrote that message to a good friend who has known me for almost 30 years, so I think that makes a difference. I wanted him to honor the tone and mood of the deeper aspects of my statement. He is renowned for causing a ruckus all over facebook and offending people all the time. So my message has to be taken into context too.

That's how language works. It works in relation to other words and within a complex culture interwoven with communal as well as personal meanings. Words cannot be completely isolated, even profanity. For example someone can say "That fucking rocks!" to emphasize the beauty of something.

And this doesn't even get to the notion of "aberrant" readings (interpretations of literature which actually defy an author's intention) or counterculture subversions of language, or reclaiming pejoratives.

Note the quote below by Dan Savage, gay sex advice columnist, who for years began his column with the controversial "Hey Faggot!"

"...no one has to address me as "Hey, Faggot" anymore: I'm retiring the salutation. When I started writing this column in 1991, there was a debate raging in hellish homosexual circles about words like faggot. The idea was that if we used these words ourselves--Queer Nation, Dyke March, "Hey, Faggot"--straights couldn't use them as hate words anymore. I chose "Hey, Faggot" as my salutation in joking reference to this lively debate about reclaiming hate words.

Lo many columns later, it feels strange to begin every column with a joke about a debate that ended years ago. So, I'm retiring "Hey, Faggot."

Therefore, the role of language is fluid, changes over time and gets used for different purposes and for different audiences. I don't find my use of the word as offensive, but I can accept that you do.

Zinzi said:

great comparison, although notice that the word sissy has a far more humiliating ring to it

(because it's seen as more shameful to be like a girl than to be like a boy)

heartbeatocean said:

The title of the thread offers no context in asking "Is sissy an offensive term?"
You do state what you said in using it, but then you invite responders to 'discuss.' But apparently the 'discussion' wasn't intended to be anything but supportive perhaps?
If I'm asked if it's offensive, yes, it is.
Because it is not offensive to you hardly precludes the fact that others find it offensive. In any context.

heartbeatocean said:

But no one calls a boy a 'tomboy' do they?
To me it's offensive not because it's feminine, it's emasculating. A girl can call another girl a sissy or tomboy. Calling a guy a sissy isn't saying he's a girl, or even homosexual, it's saying he's less than a man.
I don't know any term other than 'bitch' to suggest a woman is less than a woman.

heartbeatocean said:

Not only is "sissy" an sexual slur toward gay men, but it's used to be consider offensive toward straight men back in the days.

When you called a straight man a "sissy", you accusing him for having "no manhood" and/or "courage".

Mach said:

Life is too short. But that will not stop the wicked from being long-time assholes toward other people that they're trying to offend.

I'm not going to say what I was INITIALLY going to say...
But..
For me, it's not offensive. It's the same as saying punk, chump, wussie, scared, yellow bellied,bitch, and all that mess. I think it's more demeaning to a person in general, than offensive to a group of people. But that's just me. If someone calls me a "sissy", I don' think to myself "they only called me that because I'm gay".

Isn't namecalling, on its face, offensive?

I don't know...why can't people just say what they mean instead of taking the chance that someone may be offended?

Is having the freedom to say what you want that great?

SUPRMAN said:

I know. We're going in circles here.

I said, "I don't find my use of the word offensive, but I can accept that you do." I also said, "I cannot control the interpretation of my words." I think both these statements, among my many other statements, leave plenty of room for people to find offense with the term. I even go out of my way to point out the offensive qualities of the term several times on this thread.

I'm wondering if you are even really reading my posts at all, or just jumping in with opinions. I did not provide a context initially because I genuinely was curious as to what people thought. You are the first person to take the strong stance that yes, it is offensive, and the discussion has thereby been enriched.

SUPRMAN said:

No but calling a girl "tomboy" and it is not as derogative as calling a boy "sissy", because ultimately it is more shameful to emasculate a boy than it is to masculate a girl -- because underlying all this is the cultural baggage that it is less to be a girl than a boy, and that feminine qualities are inferior. That's why it's easier for women to wear pants than it is for men to wear dresses.

Vendetta1 said:

Yeah, but we're talking about an extremely generalized one liner status update. It wasn't namecalling per se, because no single person was the object of the statement. I can't imagine a situation where I would actually call someone that.

Vendetta1 said:

I actually find "wuss" to be far more creepy a word. "Sissy" reminds me of the playground. I should have used Supa's term and said "Communication is not for the faint of heart"

but then where's the edge? It just doesn't have the same ring to it...

heartbeatocean said:

I agree. But even as a gay man, I don't feel effeminate or feminine which is probably why my reaction to the term is strong. I don't even want other gay men calling me "girl." I'm not the one.

SUPRMAN said:

I think freedom of speech is pretty great, actually. And if we never took the chance that we might offend someone, we might never say anything at all.

Again, context. We're talking about ME. Someone who can barely get a word in edgewise. Not that that excuses me from saying offensive things, but this is probably the most abhorrent thing I could muster.

Note on my original thread, not a single person jumped into protest my use of the term. So it couldn't have been that controversial. Or maybe people just don't read my threads.