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PrintableI have to say, it's also scary for me, because I come from a family where rage and fighting were a constant, so I don't hold a clear barometer for what is too much. I actually tend to overcompensate 90% of the time in the opposite direction -- mince my words and understate.
So...case in point. I sent a strong email, a little bit shrill? It got the response "Jesus." I backtracked the next day by making light of it, and actually got a very REAL honest response from this person who did not seem swayed at all who actually stepped in closer to relate to me. No harm done.  In fact, one could say, it was a major success in communication. | |
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heartbeatocean said: I have to say, it's also scary for me, because I come from a family where rage and fighting were a constant, so I don't hold a clear barometer for what is too much. I actually tend to overcompensate 90% of the time in the opposite direction -- mince my words and understate.
So...case in point. I sent a strong email, a little bit shrill? It got the response "Jesus." I backtracked the next day by making light of it, and actually got a very REAL honest response from this person who did not seem swayed at all who actually stepped in closer to relate to me. No harm done. In fact, one could say, it was a major success in communication.Well, sounds like you crucified them and they needed you for resurrection  You're able to get away with that backtracking because you look like a beautiful innocent little creature. I can't get away with that I don't think 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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heartbeatocean said: ZombieKitten said: like not being a fake and phony person, you know, agreeing with everyone else, saying yes just to please 
(this is probably right off the track  )yeah, it's kind of about that. It's about expressing something that you're afraid will shake things up and go against the grain, which can be pretty darn scary. yup  | |
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heartbeatocean said: Mach said: How so ? they're just so strong and uncontrollable, I may do things I regret, especially in the workplace where emotions are frowned upon. But then again, it's important to concede to my own truth which is a truth, after all. It's a fine line. But if emotions were not so pesky, I would not have these kinds of problems.  You sound like my oldest daughter. Seriously, the more you love yourself for who you are, including your sensitivity and not in spite of it, the more balanced your emotions will be. Do nice things for yourself when you feel emotional. Take scented baths and drink teas or coffees you like, instead of beating yourself up for being a basket case - that only makes you more of a basket case. Being nice to yourself instead builds you up and it doesn't make you less emotional, just more in control.
Sensitivity is a good thing. We need more sensitive people in the world. | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: heartbeatocean said: I have to say, it's also scary for me, because I come from a family where rage and fighting were a constant, so I don't hold a clear barometer for what is too much. I actually tend to overcompensate 90% of the time in the opposite direction -- mince my words and understate.
So...case in point. I sent a strong email, a little bit shrill? It got the response "Jesus." I backtracked the next day by making light of it, and actually got a very REAL honest response from this person who did not seem swayed at all who actually stepped in closer to relate to me. No harm done. In fact, one could say, it was a major success in communication.Well, sounds like you crucified them and they needed you for resurrection You're able to get away with that backtracking because you look like a beautiful innocent little creature. I can't get away with that I don't think Are you saying my physical appearance came into play? | |
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PunkMistress said: heartbeatocean said: they're just so strong and uncontrollable, I may do things I regret, especially in the workplace where emotions are frowned upon. But then again, it's important to concede to my own truth which is a truth, after all. It's a fine line. But if emotions were not so pesky, I would not have these kinds of problems. You sound like my oldest daughter. Seriously, the more you love yourself for who you are, including your sensitivity and not in spite of it, the more balanced your emotions will be. Do nice things for yourself when you feel emotional. Take scented baths and drink teas or coffees you like, instead of beating yourself up for being a basket case - that only makes you more of a basket case. Being nice to yourself instead builds you up and it doesn't make you less emotional, just more in control.
Sensitivity is a good thing. We need more sensitive people in the world.  whenever you find yourself in judgement, love yourself.2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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heartbeatocean said: SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: Well, sounds like you crucified them and they needed you for resurrection You're able to get away with that backtracking because you look like a beautiful innocent little creature. I can't get away with that I don't think Are you saying my physical appearance came into play? Yes. You look like the most innocent angel on the planet! 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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PunkMistress said: heartbeatocean said: they're just so strong and uncontrollable, I may do things I regret, especially in the workplace where emotions are frowned upon. But then again, it's important to concede to my own truth which is a truth, after all. It's a fine line. But if emotions were not so pesky, I would not have these kinds of problems. You sound like my oldest daughter. Seriously, the more you love yourself for who you are, including your sensitivity and not in spite of it, the more balanced your emotions will be. Do nice things for yourself when you feel emotional. Take scented baths and drink teas or coffees you like, instead of beating yourself up for being a basket case - that only makes you more of a basket case. Being nice to yourself instead builds you up and it doesn't make you less emotional, just more in control.
Sensitivity is a good thing. We need more sensitive people in the world.  | |
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I say find a way to communicate honestly as immediately as you can. Few things can make a bad situation worse than hearing from the other party/parties involved: "Well, you should have said something then..."
And, sometimes people need to see the reaction their behavior has provoked, as well. Oh, and give them the ol' bow-slap, if all else fails! bowslap edit.  [Edited 11/5/09 7:27am] | |
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ThreadBare said:
I say find a way to communicate honestly as immediately as you can. Few things can make a bad situation worse than hearing from the other party/parties involved: "Well, you should have said something then..."
And, sometimes people need to see the reaction their behavior has provoked, as well. Oh, and give them the ol' bow-slap, if all else fails! bowslap edit.
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Mach said: heartbeatocean said: they're just so strong and uncontrollable, I may do things I regret, especially in the workplace where emotions are frowned upon. But then again, it's important to concede to my own truth which is a truth, after all. It's a fine line. But if emotions were not so pesky, I would not have these kinds of problems. " trying to control them " we have them for a reason and learning to allow ourselves them and express them in positive way is a huge weight off the shoulders of our inner control freaks  I like this. | |
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ThreadBare said:
I say find a way to communicate honestly as immediately as you can. Few things can make a bad situation worse than hearing from the other party/parties involved: "Well, you should have said something then..."
And, sometimes people need to see the reaction their behavior has provoked, as well. Oh, and give them the ol' bow-slap, if all else fails! bowslap edit.
[Edited 11/5/09 7:27am] True! But looking back at my formal training as a violinist, it took years to learn to operate the bow in such a way as to manifest a clear, resounding note. That bow-slap requires highly developed technique. So communicating immediately may not always be possible for the apprentice. | |
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heartbeatocean said: Mach said: How so ? they're just so strong and uncontrollable, I may do things I regret, especially in the workplace where emotions are frowned upon. But then again, it's important to concede to my own truth which is a truth, after all. It's a fine line. But if emotions were not so pesky, I would not have these kinds of problems. i spend a lot of time regretting and being embarrassed by the things i say and do, but ultimately, i'm glad i said or did them, if only to get that emotion out of me. just learn to roll with it. once you get past the immediate "i can't believe i said/did that" phase, it feels better. consequences be damned | |
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errant said: heartbeatocean said: they're just so strong and uncontrollable, I may do things I regret, especially in the workplace where emotions are frowned upon. But then again, it's important to concede to my own truth which is a truth, after all. It's a fine line. But if emotions were not so pesky, I would not have these kinds of problems. i spend a lot of time regretting and being embarrassed by the things i say and do, but ultimately, i'm glad i said or did them, if only to get that emotion out of me. just learn to roll with it. once you get past the immediate "i can't believe i said/did that" phase, it feels better. consequences be damned do they just come out? like you blurt out stuff? I'm so guarded and afraid of forming an opinion being without careful thought, I rarely say what I think without being asked. Strangely enough I do find my opinion is very sought after by those that I respect the most  My husband says finding out what I think is like getting blood from a stone  and can truly say what he thinks and does isn't directly influenced by what I say, BUT he is constantly thinking to himself "now, what would Charlotte think/do?" His imaginary me must drive him bananas  | |
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ZombieKitten said: errant said: i spend a lot of time regretting and being embarrassed by the things i say and do, but ultimately, i'm glad i said or did them, if only to get that emotion out of me. just learn to roll with it. once you get past the immediate "i can't believe i said/did that" phase, it feels better. consequences be damned do they just come out? like you blurt out stuff? I'm so guarded and afraid of forming an opinion being without careful thought, I rarely say what I think without being asked. Strangely enough I do find my opinion is very sought after by those that I respect the most My husband says finding out what I think is like getting blood from a stone and can truly say what he thinks and does isn't directly influenced by what I say, BUT he is constantly thinking to himself "now, what would Charlotte think/do?" His imaginary me must drive him bananas I think those who have the habit of holding their thoughts back are those who can formulate better structured ones...that is I mean they have the ability to "churn things over" and reach conclusions better than others. This is probably why you're sought out.....your opinions and thoughts are probably less spontaneous and therefore probably more correct / wise. "...and If all of this Love Talk ends with Prince getting married to someone other than me, all I would like to do is give Prince a life size Purple Fabric Cloud Guitar that I made from a vintage bedspread that I used as a Christmas Tree Skirt." Tame, Feb | |
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connorhawke said: ZombieKitten said: do they just come out? like you blurt out stuff? I'm so guarded and afraid of forming an opinion being without careful thought, I rarely say what I think without being asked. Strangely enough I do find my opinion is very sought after by those that I respect the most My husband says finding out what I think is like getting blood from a stone and can truly say what he thinks and does isn't directly influenced by what I say, BUT he is constantly thinking to himself "now, what would Charlotte think/do?" His imaginary me must drive him bananas I think those who have the habit of holding their thoughts back are those who can formulate better structured ones...that is I mean they have the ability to "churn things over" and reach conclusions better than others. This is probably why you're sought out.....your opinions and thoughts are probably less spontaneous and therefore probably more correct / wise. I'm the least spontaneous person on the planet I swear  | |
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ZombieKitten said: errant said: i spend a lot of time regretting and being embarrassed by the things i say and do, but ultimately, i'm glad i said or did them, if only to get that emotion out of me. just learn to roll with it. once you get past the immediate "i can't believe i said/did that" phase, it feels better. consequences be damned do they just come out? like you blurt out stuff? I'm so guarded and afraid of forming an opinion being without careful thought, I rarely say what I think without being asked. Strangely enough I do find my opinion is very sought after by those that I respect the most My husband says finding out what I think is like getting blood from a stone and can truly say what he thinks and does isn't directly influenced by what I say, BUT he is constantly thinking to himself "now, what would Charlotte think/do?" His imaginary me must drive him bananas nah, i don't generally blurt things out. i spend a lot of time thinking of how to say them to maximize their effect, actually. it's just the nature of them that is questionable | |
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errant said: ZombieKitten said: do they just come out? like you blurt out stuff? I'm so guarded and afraid of forming an opinion being without careful thought, I rarely say what I think without being asked. Strangely enough I do find my opinion is very sought after by those that I respect the most My husband says finding out what I think is like getting blood from a stone and can truly say what he thinks and does isn't directly influenced by what I say, BUT he is constantly thinking to himself "now, what would Charlotte think/do?" His imaginary me must drive him bananas nah, i don't generally blurt things out. i spend a lot of time thinking of how to say them to maximize their effect, actually. it's just the nature of them that is questionable | |
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That's why the internet is my friend. I can spend hours refining a four sentence email before I hit the send button. Everything must be worded just so, and the punctuation must contain perfect expression. It's like a painting.
Now catch me in real life, and I'm a tongue-tied mess. | |
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heartbeatocean said: That's why the internet is my friend. I can spend hours refining a four sentence email before I hit the send button. Everything must be worded just so, and the punctuation must contain perfect expression. It's like a painting.
Now catch me in real life, and I'm a tongue-tied mess. yes yes yes!!!  | |
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I must add that because I tend to keep everything deep inside, when I do say something, it almost always has giant impact. Like an earthquake. People seem to jump to it.  | |
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heartbeatocean said: I must add that because I tend to keep everything deep inside, when I do say something, it almost always has giant impact. Like an earthquake. People seem to jump to it.
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In fact, I have to be careful sometimes. An offhand comment has almost gotten other people fired! | |
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