This is an ongoing debate and bone of contention in society.

Which is better for the child, a working mother or a stay at home mother? Why does each group try and make the other feel bad about their choice? And why do fathers get let off the hook?

discuss...

I dont think one way or the other is better.... I know I wanted to be home to raise my children and do the "june cleaver" thing but i know thats not for everyone...

I dont put career woman down for their choice but I know alot of those women think women like me are, old fashioned and stupid basically...

I think as long as their is lots of love and your children feel loved everything turns out in the end! The kids adjust to either situation...my kids always had me home so when i tried to work it wasnt good for them, but my sister who always worked raised some pretty great kids and they had sitters...

I dont think fathers get off the hook... I didnt have the drive to climb the ladder to make the money that supported our family and he did so it worked out for us... Its whatever works for your family...

I think both working Moms and stay home Moms are awesome! I was a stay at home Mom for years, loved staying home with my kids, but what works for one Mom doesn't always work for another. I think ALL Moms should be praised! Stay home..working...being a parent is a hard job PERIOD!

DesireeNevermind said:

Self-employed, 3 day a week, stay-at-home Dad here!!

Yeah I know, I'm buckin' the norm and I have the UTMOST respect for Mothers everywhere!!! Guys who DON'T spend a large amount of time watching their kids have NO IDEA what hard work goes into this!!

How did we get here? Much had to do with the economy, her job's healthcare and the past year of slow business in my industry. Things are getting better though and when they do we may decide to swap roles... we'll see...

My wife hates her 9 to 5 though...

RenHoek said:

I for you. I think dads like you get left out of the discussion though. I think more dads should stay home if it works out financially. Plenty of women pulling in big bucks so why not. Or at least swap back and forth so that both have the opportunity to work and stay at home.

Which is better for the child, a working mother or a stay at home mother?

I think it really depends on the parent,I have been watching my nephews all of there lives because the job that I had allowed me to do it,and be here to watch them for my sister. I love my sister,I really do,but I truely believe that it is better for my nephews that she works.

Personally I don't see the point in going to work, only to pay for childcare for my children. I love being able to to do the school run then spending time with my son in the afternoons.
That said, I do get bored of being known as my children's mother and since having children, I have worked a couple of evenings a week just to keep me sane!

If money was an issue and I had no choice but to work, then I would do it.

I have friends who have returned to work full-time 3 months after having babies. It has worked out well for some of them, and not so good for others. It seems to me that it's about getting the balance right. If you work 9 - 5, it's important to spend some quality time in the evenings and weekends with the children.

DesireeNevermind said:

my son hurt his leg last night, and its still sore this morning.

i only work half a day today, but already am feeling guilty because i have to put my mum hat on and take rugrat to Dr.

its not like im chucking a sickie

hubby cant help..he is a truck driver and on the road. he takes a day off, his off-sider doesnt work either



his old job we would take turns when it came to stay home/sick duties..student free school days etc.

this one is too hard

and i feel guilty coz i cant attend a lot of school activities (performance assemblies/sports carnivals etc)

my old job was more flexible....but the store closed down!!!



breathe...1 2 3 you are employed, 4 5 6 it pays the bills, 7 8 9
[Edited 11/4/09 13:46pm]

EmeraldSkies said:

I think some days my guys would be better off with some time away from mummy too

prb said:

we live in the lucky country Tracy, I just heard some stories from Argentina that the master brought home to tell me

you would just cry

do what you have to do, and don't beat yourself up over it.

Mr. Mom here. We share equally to our best attributes in raising the President of 2044

I saw this show....which is what got me thinking "dayum...we still talkin' bout this shit?"

They never mentioned dads either. Oh and yes the show was called "mom vs. mom"

http://www.drphil.com/art...rticle/284
Making the decision to stay home with your kids or join the workforce can be a difficult process. There is no right answer. Dr. Phil encourages each woman to make the choice that brings her closest to fulfilling her hopes and dreams.

"It is damaging for parents to be away for more than a few hours a day," says Heidi Brennan, a stay-at-home mom, public policy advisor, and member of the Board of Directors for the Family and Home Network. "Research has demonstrated that the early relationship between infants and preschoolers is the foundation of all subsequent personality development."

"There is really no evidence to support that statement," Dr. Phil argues. "Children who are in quality day care have increases in cognitive skills, intellect, social skills and social comfort," he says.

Heidi is unfazed by Dr. Phil's comment. "Children do not do well with large separations of time," she says.

Joan K. Peters, a working mother and author of When Mothers Work, points to another issue. "One of the aspects of mothering that's terribly important is making sure that you can provide for your children financially," she says. She notes that many women work to be prepared for unforeseen circumstances like a husband's unemployment, a divorce, or illness.

This was covered on Dr. Phil a week ago. There were people representing both sides of the debate. I think it comes down to balance. I don't think a mom should be stay-at-home through a child's life. My mom was stay at home until I was in kindergarten then she went back to work.

Many women run their own businesses while their child is at work, and are still able to pick them up after school, having that flexible schedule.

Through school, I was a latch key kid. I'm not sure I wanted my mom at home everyday when I came home. Calling her when I got home was enough.

I have been/done both

and I respect each woman's choice to do what they feel is best

and that goes for men as well

with balance and proper priorites that is

Mach said:

It's not easy...I was going to loose my mind by the end of the summer

YESWECAN said:

No it's not easy

unless you are tuned out and not parenting

Mach said:

which really is only gonna make everything more difficult in the long run, if you care, that is

ZombieKitten said:

I really think that goes both ways,children need time away from there parents,and parents need time away from there children.

My job is awesome in that I do not have to be at work for an 8 hour day. I am the personal assistant to the boss, and he is mostly out of town or works from home. I can do much of my work from home or after hours. I can be flexible, as I have been with my same employer for 23 years and counting.
So I have a taste of both worlds, I love being around for my kids, and I have no idea what I would do if I was away for 8 hours at a time. I can drop off my kids, and be at work for a few hours, and pick them up at the end of their school day. I hate when I have to pull an all nighter at work, when my boss has a lot going on. But other then that I have the best of both worlds.

EmeraldSkies said:

6 weeks summer break is an unnatural amount of time for family to spend in such close quarters

I wish I could be a stay at home mom but I would probably want to kill everyone in the house after about a week.

Staying home is better, but I can't so oh well.

but who says definitively that stay at home moms are better? what about all those rich moms who don't work but have nannies raising their kids?

DesireeNevermind said:

Staying home and raising your own pre-school kid is best. Definitely.

ZombieKitten said:

Only 6 weeks!
Summer vacation for my nephews last almost 12,and they are mine all of that time except for 8 days out of the month that there Mom has days off.

EmeraldSkies said:

that's insane!!!!!

there is another 6 weeks broken into 3 spread out over the year, beginning april, july, september

I shouldn't be complaining after all!!!

DesireeNevermind said:

Maybe in 1979.

ZombieKitten said:

I'd love to be a stay at home mum but If we're going to survive I must work so in my situation a working mum is better, and yes hubby works too.

When my youngest was 1 we swapped roles and he got the part tIme school hours job, but then my health declined and we re-swapped.

The kids don't suffer at all I start work when they start school and I finish work when they finish school.

The only disadvantage is that dinner is always rushed and a little bit late.