Thanks again everyone for ur support, thoughts and words...

Here are some pics wanted to share that I dug up of J. May he rest in peace.

I really feel for his family That's so tragic

for his family, work mates and you panthgirl

I think it's harder for men to deal with depression because it's been so ingrained by society into our psyches to "man up" and not get so emotional in front of people. It's also harder for men to open up emotionally because most guys don't have an emotional support system to help deal with their issues. Women who get depressed usually have their friends they can see to discuss their feelings, but men are taught not to express them, which is why in most cases they confide their emotions only to their spouses, mother, or significant other.

As for your co-worker, I'm really sorry to hear what happened to him, but I've been through some ugly breakups where I felt so unloved that I figured no one would miss me if I were gone. While people who commit suicide have done it mostly to end their own emotional anguish, those who have killed themselves over lost lovers do it subconsciously to get back at the person who dumped them. In most cases like this, if they go professional help, they could get through their issues, which usually involve other things besides "losing" the love of their life.

Now as for those who are clinically depressed or bipolar, there are obviously some types of chemical, hormonal, or neurological imbalances which are causing their situation. Ironically, a lot of those people get addicted to drugs and alcohol in order to self-medicate.

728huey said:

I am a lot to handle and while I do have friends I can turn to, it gets to be too much for them. Some of them say I can talk to them about anything, but then I can tell they can't handle it. They say they worry about me but then it turns into not hearing from them for a few days or week to not hearing from some at all. This is a very isolating feeling. They say they care and then don't call to check up to at least see how I am and to me, that sucks. I am sure I am not the only person that has gone through this. I am also sure more people see more signs that it is coming than they care to admit. Folks talk about what it does to those left behind but how many of them are going above and beyond to really be there for such a person?

Vendetta1 said:

I'm sorry about what ur personally experiencing and u would know first hand because it seems it's something that U have had to learn to live with for a while. Sometimes U need to seek the advice of a professional because personal friendships and family are not a solid guarantee to be there for U in time of duress. If U have a virus, U will see a GP to take care of ur physical health. The same procedure should be applied for ur mental health as well.

As for those that go above and beyond, we really do exist. My mum and I saved someone very close to us from self destruction a few years back, it was so bad at one stage she was locked up involuntarily in an institution and put on suicide watch 24-7, they even had to take her shoelaces off her sneakers. She was released 3 months later and has been a lot better ever since, and on some new anti-psychotic medication as well. This was all due to her mental disability and these days she does voluntary work at a childcare centre, has made some friends and attends support groups 5 days per week.

That's why this news with my beautiful friend J hit me like a ton of bricks, I've seen the signs before, but unfortunately I didn't see this one coming. Nobody did...

728huey said:

Thank U I appreciate ur post...

It is a whole different ball game when it comes to men, which is why the suicide rate is higher in men than in women. The strange thing though is that J had a network of friends and family surrounding him open to discussion at any point, but nobody knew a thing because he was keeping it all in. He seemed fine a lot of the time, but obviously dealing with anguish in silence. After his fiance broke up with him a few weeks ago all the boys went to Las Vegas for a trip and he was in great spirits according to what the guys said.

A number of factors contribute to taking such actions, depression, chemical imbalances and all the other ailments and situations stated above and help is available to assist with the status quo, if only peeps dealing with such things would make it known. It's so hard...