I don't believe there is such a thing...if you're struggling and don't have a choice. When did you guys first move out? What are some important must haves when you first move-in to your own place? ex. tp lol

Hi Zombiekitten!
[Edited 10/27/09 5:52am]

I went to college when I was 17. My momma had me working since I was 14! I was always an independent lil heffa. I had my own apartment after 2 years of dorm living. My mom passed when I was 25, so there was no one to go live with. My sister lived with her mom her whole life, and took care of her, and when my sister passed now I take care of her mom and her kid.

I miss living by myself though I couldn't have lived with my mom, we fought too much, but if she had lived I would have taken care of her for sure.

BklynBabe said:

I'm sorry,

peacenlovealways said:

I had a choice: move out or kicked out so I moved out when I was around 20.

You'll need at least a bed, a table, and a chair.

peacenlovealways said:

thanks
I'm glad my mom raised me to be independent and that I can take care of myself.

My nephew has ADHD and always want to act helpless and I'm kinda scared for his future. I've already told him whe he turns 18, he gotta go. Either college or the military but I will not raised no helpless ass man with no sense of ackrite.

LeCram said:

I'm looking for work at a temp agency...not working now...I have money saved for over a year. I don't think places will let you rent unless you have a job. I don't want to live on the street. I have no friends...close friends.

I moved out when I was 18, I could have coped at 16 but i would have been a bit home sick. Childhood was fine but I moved away to Uni and it was the best thing I ever did.

I don't think there are any hard and fast rules on age. I might look at someone funny if they are in their 30's and still with mummy and daddy but everyones circumstances are different and everybody's relationship with their family is different.

I did temp agency work and it was really good pay. I even would do overtime work sometimes. They would have offered me a job but it was not my field, but I worked hard and got a good check.

You can rent without a job as long as you pay your rent LOL! Might not be too fancy digs though.

peacenlovealways said:

I be yo' friend!

look at bar jobs, pay sucks but they are sociable places so you feel like you are out while you work, make some friends too.

Massage therapy! My niece went to school (she dropped out, silly girl) but for a 6 mo program, the investment was not bad, and then it pays really well! You can even have your own business if you plan right, or work in resorts in Jamaica and such!!

I be yo' good friend if you be a massage therapist.....

BklynBabe said:

Thanks!

BklynBabe said:

You live in NYC? Can you recommend a good temp agency? I plan on going to some near my home. The one I'm with hardly has things. The last job they had was in NJ. My mom told me not to take it, because it was too far. I shouldn't have listened to her. She's the one that wants me out.

I've thought about this lately. I'm 24 and still living at home.
In our culture (and also throughout most of the Caribbean), a woman can stay in her parents' home for as long as she wants to (until she gets married then move out or if she just ready to move out).
A man can also stay for a really long time (well into their 20s) without objection or being asked to move out, just as long as he helps with/or fully takes care of the bills etc.

PREDOMINANT said:

In America they actually pay pretty well if you factor in tips. A bartender at a busy club can bring in several hundred dollars a night. (I knew a bartender at a gay-ish club who made approx 2,000 one night).

Imago said:

even better then, look at bar jobs, pay is great, you can make 2000 a night! and they are sociable places so you feel like you are out while you work, make some friends too.[/quote]

PREDOMINANT said:

!!

I didn't mean to debate you. I mean, you're the one with the expensive research grants. I just have a copy of photoshop


But, yeah--I was shocked in the UK when I discovered the bartenders barely get any tips for the drinks the served. What's the incentive to do a good job? (not an insult. I just don't understand the incentive if money is taken out of the mix for a job like that)

peacenlovealways said:

There are sooooo many factors.

My opinion is don't spend alot of money on anything. Have a large reserve in your savings.


Milk your situation as long as you can---especially in this economy.

Don't waste time--get your degree or whatever you need to. Have a plan, stick to it, and don't let emotions get in the way. Move out only when you absolutely know you can afford it.

Furniture can run you several thousand dollars. Electricity can be costly. You may have to pay for some maintenance yourself. And of course, your car, even without a car payment (if it's paid off) cost you several thousand in fuel, insurance and maintenance fees.

Just be very certain you can afford to do it.

Imago said:

He was probably very handsome..

Imago said:

I have to finish college, need 2 more years for a bachelors.

In these tough times, there is no time limit. Heck one of my wife's friends just moved back in with her parents, and she is 36 years old. So there really is no limit.

If you can make it on your own, cool. 22 years old would the range. But if you can't. There aint no shame in moving in and staying with your folks until things get better.

Imago said:

This I agree with. Although I wouldn't say "milk it". If you and your family are comfortable, there's no need to hurry, but if you're miserable, find a way to move on.


Chances are you have a bed and dresser and a desk or something you already own you can take with you. For a couple of hundred bucks you can get a couch and table and chairs and such at garage sales or goodwill or craigslist. Heck you can find free stuff on craigslist. You can easily outfit an entire place for quite cheap.


Or it doesn't have to be. My one bedroom apartment I spent $25 a month when I wasn't running the air conditioner. That made it go up to $45.


If you can get by with public transportation why bother with a car?

In this economy? If you have a roof over your head and food on the table, you're LUCKY.

Been on my own since i was 20.

I didn't leave until I was 28! I wanted to, but after my brother's passing I felt like I needed to stay with mom. When I moved out she sat in the middle of my room and cried for a day

She got over it real quick though.

CarrieMpls said:

Carrie, this is America. Not everybody lives in a place that doesn't require a/c or ownership of a car. I think there are only 3 safe months in Tampa not to run A/C !!
And if she wants to get a degree, you can just throw additional moola on top of that. I'm not saying don't do it--I did it and got a masters to boot. It's not impossible. You just have to factor in alot. I mean make out a list and go over EVERYTHING.

You can't even get to the grocery store in most of Tampa without a car.

And a living room set can run thousands.

I think everyone's situation is different.

I just moved out at 41. I decided (with my parents' encouragement) to use my money to pay for graduate school straight out instead of running up more student loans after I paid off the undergrad ones.
Then I got accepted to a Doctoral Program. Because my parents didn't go to college (Dad didn't finish high school), education is important.
In the meantime, I was engaged and had moved in with the EX- for part of that time....

I didn't want to rent... my parents allowed me to stay there (and help out with the bills and things) and save for a house and pay my Grad School bills.
I bought a house in January.


Sometimes I hated not having my own place, but I thought about how much I wouldn't have been able to do if I had struggled...
[Edited 10/27/09 13:03pm]

My daughter just moved out (again) she felt like she was to old to be living at home (shes 21) but we still pay her car insurance, cell phone, one of her student loans, and lately her car loan, is she really on her "own"...NO!

You may ask why we still pay for those things if she moved out... If i didnt pay her phone she probably wouldnt have one and that would drive me INSANE..the car loan is in our name hence my credit, and car insurance..idk why? lol....

I dont know what the point of my story is now... I guess it is if your parents are willing to help you out there is no shame in it...As long as you appreciate it!

Imago said:

That's why I said electricity "doesn't have to be" expensive and "if" you can get by without a car. I was just pointing out that it doesn't have to be that bad - depends on your circumstances.

And sure, you can spend thousands on a living room set. Or you can fully outfit your living room for a couple of hundred dollars by going with used items and goodwill. Heck, looking at my living room, every piece was bought brand new and it adds up to just shy of $1000.

Wife's parents, brother and nephews to look after. A family to look after, basically, so we're still at home. It is cheaper, certainly, and I feel it's only right we do our bit if we can. Been looking at houses and apartments for over a year now though. Just waiting for somewhere just right, not too far away but far enough. We'd probably end up splitting our time between the two anyway, and hopefully also a small beach bungalow.

peacenlovealways said:

this was years ago lol but let me think about the name and I'll send you an orgnote if I remember it. I think it started with an E and they were midtown. I do believe they had ads in the paper regularly, then you go and take some basic math, spelling, and typing tests and they found me a position really quick. In fact I had that one temp job for over 6 mo before I quit and got some jobs in my career.