if someone calls you fat, will you remember the incident for life?

No. Because not only am I an ideal weight for my height and body type, I don't have much in the way of body image issues.

depends on who said it, to be honest.

meow85 said:

really? great! Good for you! right on, and amen. sister.

whistle said:

my family (almost all members with the exception of my baby sis) did. All through childhood. After losing weight at age 12 they continued. Gained it back, continued.

As an adult, I lost a lot in one year. Family said NOTHING. But as it came back they had plenty to say.

So ummm, yeah I can thank that part of my upbringing for the obessessive exercising, purging, binging, crash diets. Looking back at my pictures it looks like I really only carried 20 extra - but to my family I was a hippo.

Once I figured out that when I lose weight they are confused as to what to pick on and cannot praise my efforts, it has made managing it, losing it, and living with it better. I'm pretty fucking hot anyway. No matter what size.

But yeah, it can really fuck with you. I mean I was on slim fast and carrots at age 11. Bananas. So I guess now, no. Back then, it was everyday, so I can't really pinpoint when or where.

KatSkrizzle said:

Sorry to hear that.

Some people, and sometimes it expands into full families, just don't really know how to be nice even when they're grade A at being mean. Sometimes it's intentional and sometimes it's not, but the lack of support or praise can make all the difference in how the meanness comes across.

sammij said:

Exactly.

The only people that ever said that to me were my grandparents. I've been slightly overweight for just about all of my adult life, but I wouldn't say I was fat. They have no problem telling me that I am everytime I see them My parents tried to tell me that it's supposed to be a compliment because in their country, being a little heavier is seen as attractive, but they never say it to me in a nice way. It's more like "WOW, you sure are fat! ", but in Spanish Yeah, it sticks with me. It makes me not want to visit with them.

Not always, no. But some of them, yes. I remember a man on the bus once attempting to compliment me. He was going on about how stylish my outfit was, then proceeded to talk about how I looked very nice for a "big" woman and how I still took care of myself in that manner. It got worse than that, but that was the jist. That guy was an asshole.

CarrieMpls said:

I get compliments like that too. And I'm like, so I'm a cute and stylish big girl? Did you have to add big?

meow85 said:

Its all good. I don't get mad anymore. They're full of shit and the only thing I can control is my reaction. I've turned the trips to Krispy Kreme to taking a walk. I find more peace that way!

meow85 said:

That's beautiful, I love what you said.

KatSkrizzle said:

Family, unfortunately, can sometimes be the worst enemy when it comes to weight and criticism of any kind.

for knowing you're hot no matter what size you are.

I agree. It depends on who says it. I lost 40 lbs, and have worked hard to keep it off. It bothers me when someone comments on my weight.

I was hanging out with a friend, and a homeless guy called me "thick" and "big-boned" in my dress. My friend got annoyed with me because I was insulted!

blessedk said:

Thanks.

One thing I'll always credit my mother for doing right, even for all her faults, is raising my sister and me to have healthy attitudes about ourselves. My sister's a big girl, but don't you dare tell her she's not beautiful, or she'll step on you.

Some of my friends have absolutely no tact when it comes to discussing my weight. They said shit I would never in a million years say to them. I do not need to be constantly reminded that I am fat or that I need to lose weight. I know this. Until I got sick, that shit would depress me so much that I would stuff my face. But that was then and this is now. I love me, all of me and I am grateful that people find me attractive whatever size.

JessieJ said:

I get that from my grandmother too...And my parents, when I was a kid.
My mom would wake me up in the morning à la "goodmorning thunder thighs!"

to all of you.

sammij said:

meow85 said:

haha luvs it!

my 5 year old said to me today, while pointing at a lady twice as wide as me, "that looks just like you mummy!"

Nope...didn't bother me when i was thicker than i am now...wouldn't bother me now either.
I'm thick in all the right places baby

JessieJ said:

i don't mind my body too much now... there are still many a thing i'd change, but i'm learning to be happy with this..

My kids ask me all the time...Mama, why are you fat? And then they ask me if I'm having another baby.... I'm only 137 pounds after giving birth 4.5 months ago...My chest is a 42 my waist is a 36 and my hips are a 38. I'm only 5'3" with heels and I'm not big at all. I still have baby weight on me...

This never bothered me until I gained 80 lbs from taking meds. I am still fat as hell, and now I found a new sense of compassion for overweight people because NOW I understand.

I don't get angry or hurt when people call me fat... I only cried once when my sister taunted my excessive weight gain because I was at ideal weight 9 years ago. She was always a bully to me my whole life, so this was just another way to hurt me when she equated my weight with a lack of class.

So I let her have it and called her a raggety bitch that lacked not only tact but a sense of class herself. She used to starve herself to be thin, and she still has body image issues (even though she is fit and beautiful). She even landed herself in the emergency room numerous times because of her extreme dieting.
One day I blew up at her, and she left me alone, shocked at the way I stood up to her. She apologized to me which is hard for her to do.
She wonders why I am happy in any size I am. I don't let people ( men in particular) bother me. I walk in confidence, even as a size 18W, I keep a mean strut. My sister doesn't understand, why I am happy in my size. Its because I can breathe and I feel healthier now that my lungs are functioning in a normal way. Yes, I will work on losing the weight in the future, but I enjoy my body just the way it is, even love my swimsuit I bought (yes an 18W!) and I wear it proudly on the beach. No harpoon needed.

Weird thing, I have wayyyy better sex in my "meatball" form than I ever did slender. I am just as agile, even though I queef a bit more because of my um... thickness. TMI But its the truth... dudes love the squishiness of my "pillowtop" form.

There is far more important things in life to worry about than name calling
but if something has made a comment that I don’t appreciate then I just point out their disfigurements and move on

paintedlady said:

You are just awesome.

Abso-fucking-lutety

My family doesn't really comment on my weight, and my friends have never said negative things. But an ex-boyfriend of mine made petty comments about my weight after I'd gained like 10lbs that really destroyed my self-confidence. I'm starting to get it back, but I fucking hate him for doing that.

No one has ever called me fat - at least not to my face. I'd probably laugh if someone did, because by most people's standard I am probably not considered fat. (I wish I were more toned though.) But when I was in kindergarten, I wore a baby doll dress to school for school picture day. This kid, David B..., told me I looked pregnant. Twelve years of school with him and I never forgot it. My "friends" in high school used to make fun of me for being "too skinny." Most people would probaby think I am not fat, but I wish I were about 20 pounds lighter. I suppose it may have something to do with those incidents.


name edit
[Edited 10/19/09 20:38pm]

i let friends make comments about my weight. hell i'll make a comment or two at my own expense at times when i'm out and i know it will help me in what i'm doing.

i won't tolerate it from people i don't know. there was one friend of a friend of a friend who thought it was funny to come up to me everytime he saw me and say girl eat a sandwich so i replied back with "i don't tell you that all you can eat doesn't mean everything at the buffet now don't make another fucking comment about my weight again." he hasn't spoken to me since.