No

OnlyNDaUsa said:

Alej said:

and you still turned out perfectly

we have proof!!

Cinnie said:

aw

Cinnie said:

I meant according to her standards. I don't think ANY child or adult deserves it.

Cinnie said:

At times it was measured decision. "if I do this I might get a beating so I made SURE whatever I was going to do that it was worth it..." At some point in time I knew I would get one anyway so I would push it. So even if I know I did NOT deserve the beating, I did whatever it was (shooting roman candles at cops or using a kite to fly a copper wires over a high voltage line or into the power plant. *how am i alive?* )

Cinnie said:

Yes, except for when she couldn't sit near me and was up in the choir. lol I was very hardheaded and my mother was a single mother to me and my sister for some years so there was alot of frustration she was going through as well.

no. she had a belt hanging in the closet but never used. I would usually stop if she said she was going to get the belt. I was a very angry kid sometimes and we yelled at each other a lot, especially junior high/early high. I remember she slapped me once. (I was hard pressed to not knock out my own momma) Once she went and got the popo!

In retrospect I don't even know why I was so angry (I think I am a little bipolar) and why we yelled so much. I wasn't exactly naughty as much as overbearing in a way and too smart for my own good and sneaky. She trusted me to leave me at home at a young age and I was in my playing with fire stage and set the damn place on fire! I was disgustingly messy. I had few friends. I was just really messed up inside all the time. And not really for any good reason either-I had it pretty good, actually. I wish now that she HAD beat me with that belt more because I think the stress of it all killed her early by putting stress on her heart.

This is why mine gets the belt. Too smart for his own good but no common sense not to cut it out after a while. Actually in a few years I will have him go to a boarding school for ADHD boys too and see if that helps. Right now I have a psychiatrist for him, and medicines. When he starts getting ugly though, the belt puts him in his place like nothing else. I told him my temper might be a bit worse than his so he should try not to make me reach for a belt. He's been warned y'all!!

Today his day care told me he had his pants unzipped and a little girl had her top off...I am so livid I did not reach for a belt but put his ass straight to bed so that I would not kill him. This is not the first inappropriate moment with him and other children. So he has been told this over and over. And now if his ears won't listen his behind will glisten! This is with weeks of sassing teacher, failing tests, and generally being an asshole!
[Edited 10/20/09 20:14pm]

blessedk said:

I feel like anytime we examine our upbringing, it is very healthy to have empathy for what your parents as young adults were going through, yknow?

OnlyNDaUsa said:

My sis and I never did anything like that. We got beaten for forgetting to put our baby brother's bottle in the frig. Things like that. We were little girls. My sis got it worse for wetting the bed.

My Mom says that I was,but not often. I really don't remember getting spanked.

noimageatall said:

Children should not have to go through that, especially at a place they call home.

noimageatall said:

That's awful! Jeez, the beatings probably were CAUSING the bed-wetting terror

Imago said:

That's really sad.

EmeraldSkies said:

The problem is that by the time I was 14 years old, if my parents had all of a sudden transformed into loving, understanding, and kind folks who wanted to know what I was up to, I would have been terribly irritated and uncomfortable.

I learned to enjoy not having a curfew, not being told what to do, and doing whatever I wanted.

Cinnie said:

That's what I thought when we grew up. My sis and I slept together, and so I would know when she wet the bed. I'd try to be quiet and wake her up, change the sheets, and find her some dry pajamas. Inevitably my mom would hear us. The most vivid memory I have was when she grabbed my sis' head and pushed it into the pee...then she put her in a cold shower. Ok...that's enough for me tonight.

Cinnie said:

Yes

Cinnie said:

Vendetta1 said:

Imago said:

I can understand that,it would be such an extreme change that it would make things uncomfortable,but it still sucks that you had to go throught that. I could'nt even imagine.

MoniGram said:

noimageatall said:

That's exactly how I feel.

I grew up thinking that some people should have never had children and I always wondered what it was that I had done that was so horrible to make my parents abuse me in the way they did. Even though the physical abuse hurt, it’s the mental abuse that stung the most.

Back in the 70’s even the nuns at catholic schools didn’t hold back.

I used to love it when we got visitors that stayed past bedtime because I knew I was safe for that night.

I spoke to my mother recently about it and she believes it’s how to bring up kids, so I asked her what she would say to me if I was doing that to her grandchildren. She wouldn’t answer. I see my parents about 3 times a year and that’s all I can take and my parents have never looked after my children not even for 10 minutes.

It all started when I was about 2; she would tie me up with a rope so that she could do her house work. Both my parents would use the first thing they could find to beat us. For some reason my sisters were seldom punished. My parents always said I was the most unruly and needed the discipline. Where was Doc’s?

Growing up with abusive parents has made me aware of my children’s needs. I tell my children everyday that I love them. At home punishment is no TV and they sometimes have to clean their rooms. My girls are all pleasant, happy, well behaved kids.

veronikka said:

Hated the belt...

y'all all need therapy

all the time.

about the age of seven after a few years of the use of other devices

she settled on the employment of a bread paddle.

we lived in the country so we could burn our trash.

one day i took that shit and threw it in the burn barrel

and lit that shit on fire.

it was damn funny the next time my step-mom went to look for it.

she never saw it again.

then she decided to take up slapping me in my face.

that lasted like once.

the second time I put my arm out and it knocked her arm out of socket.

she never touched me again.

I think I was spanked 2 times by my mother. I wasn't really a bad kid so they never hit me.

I got spanked a couple of times, I think. Can't really remember. THere was definitely the threat. Got a shoe thrown at me a few times too.

Been thinking about this a lot lately. Why is it that I can't even conceive of raising a finger to my own kids? Are we doing the right thing by them?

noimageatall said:

Well at first they were for trivial kid mistakes and normal things kids do or do not do...like not folding the clothes before dinner. It was something a few times a week. So I decided I might as well make them mean something.

We also used to fly trash bags over a missile site near our home. it was easy, if the wind was blowing that direction fill the bags/balloons with helium or even some flammable stuff (maybe acetylene gas or maybe hydrogen). We would hear alarms going off and they would react. Then after a few times, they came to our house. I think that was the end of that. But the beating I got was worth the fun.

(the next door neighbor had left a bunch of tanks in their yard and we rolled them under the fence. We know one of the would ignite because we would shoot them with bottle rockets.)