OK OK.

I haven't been awake long, but I just finished examining my penis to see if anything was wrong with it, under bright lights and with the utmost detail.

I went to take a morning pee this morning and it was one of those pees that seems to last for ever--you know, it just goes and goes and goes, and could fill at least 2 complete water bottles?

But through the general morning haze I noticed two completely separate streams of pee shooting out of my penis. They shot forth in the form of a very narrow V-shape. I tried to bend over to see what was happening as the streams of urine did not appear to be originating from the same location. In other words, they appeared to be coming out of two separate narrow holes/slits in my penis.


THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME IN MY LIFE
Is this normal? For fucks sake I've had a very stressful month as it is already with my penis being the star protagonist in the middle of it all. I can't handle the notion that something else might be wrong with the plumbing.

I can't find anything on google or bing about it either.

I bent over to try and examine it while the pee was coming out but couldn't get a good enough angle. Just before I finished urinating, the separate streams of pee sort of combined to form one thicker stream of pee--but this only lasted about 1 or 2 seconds before the well ran dry so to speak.


I got a million theories for what's going on, but they're all frightening me. I've been drinking tons of water since to get me to want to pee again so I can see if this is repeatable.

The only thing I can think of that might be remotely viable is that I masturbated this morning, and may not have wiped all the sperm up? Perhaps a small dollop of my sauce remained at the tip of my penis, dried, and formed a small 'bridge' that split the little penile slit in two? That would explain the two streams AND explain the fact they combined into one at the end--the crusted sperm would have dissolved from prolonged peeing or even popped off allowing an even, singular urine flow?


What ever the case, this is the first time in all of my years I've had this happen. Please lawd, don't let the plumbing give out on me now



.
[Edited 10/4/09 18:17pm]

stick a pin in it and work it around to clean the ductbutter out.

Give us an update when u pee again.

I hope you washed your hands before typing this

Oh, and it has happened to me like a million times since I was a kid

WOW, you share alot


I hope nothings really wrong and it's just a matter of not clearing the way properly.

Imago said:

You're a damn liar

It's usually leftover seminal fluid that dried at the opening. You'll pee it out. Soap up and you'll be fine.

Unless it's some really horrible problem. But it's probably not.

just like in Alien, there's a tiny penis INSIDE your penis and it's now making it's way out...

a mushroom burster as it were...

lint stuck to your dried up spunk

Why are you pissing in water bottles?

Imago's thread

can't believe you made it to almost 40 without this ever happening to you before.

I'm agog. This never happened to you before?

This nearly always happens to me.

It pisses me off when women make a fuss about hitting the floor because sometimes you can get a direct hit into the loo but there'll be another sprinkle at a right-angle, like a fucking letter L.

It's worse in the morning, if you have a bit of a chubby-stubby going on.

I dont know how you guys live with those things!!

Im rather glad this didnt come up before your phone died!

errant said:

If you really have a smaller hole below the urethra it is a rather common developmental anomaly, which is usually nothing else than a slight cosmetic defect. It develops already during the prenatal stage, and if it poses no other problems than the occasional "V-stream" then it shouldn't be anything to worry about.

Or you might have lint stuck down there, who knows.

PANDURITO said:

heybaby said:

(not actual size thankfully)

I should first say I hope this is the first and last time I give your penis any attention, Dan.

If there are irregularities inside or on the tip of your urethra -- a small growth or swelling from infection, say, -- your urine stream could be effected. Drink lots of water or unsweetened cranberry juice (which is not only a diuretic, but has great antibacterial properties) and try to take a whiz frequently. See if the problem goes away on its own. If it doesn't in a day or two, if urination begins to sting, or if your thingy starts to look like cauliflower, go see a doctor... and don't come to Canada anytime soon.
[Edited 10/4/09 15:31pm]

Lmao OMFG I cant believe this. this shit happens to every man no big deal calm down.

i have two streams but i did ad an extra hole a few years ago.

I want to make popular threads like this but I am urinating in a single stream.

It's perfectly normal to take a morning piss that sprays like wind shield wiper fluid.

ultrablue said:

My post-colonial sensibilities are grossed out and offended by this thread.

connorhawke said:

you got a post in your WHAT?!?!

ZombieKitten said:

In my sensibles