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Alright, Let's Get Real!: What's the Worst Christmas Present You Received this Year? Someone gave me a sundial!
A Sundial! I mean, wtf?? I know it's the thought that counts. Just help me to understand the thought! 
(Actually it's a nice piece...) At least nobody gave me a book of deliberately bad poetry. Oh. Wait a minute!   | |
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All I got was cold, heartless cash... and I loved it. SUPERJOINT RITUAL - http://www.superjointritual.com
A Lethal Dose of American Hatred | |
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 you deserve a sundial.
Bad poetry? now 9s, I bet you wrote all of them. would you care to post a few? | |
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Lleena said: Bad poetry? now 9s,
I bet you wrote all of them. would you care to post a few?Sure! Here's a stanza from Solyman Brown's "The Dentologia," a long poem about TEETH. 
First a little bit about Mr. Brown: Solyman Brown was extremely active in the world of orthodontics. He ran a dental supplies outlet in Connecticut. He founded the American Society of Dental Surgeons. He formed the New York Teeth Manufacturing Company. (
 ) Most impressively, however, he wrote a poem on dentistry. It's full title is 'The Denologia, A Poem on the Diseases of the Teeth and their Proper Remedies with Notes, Practical, Historical, Illustrative, and Explanatory.' It runs to 54 pages. ( ) Here's a little taste for you: Whene'er along the ivory disks are seen, The rapid traces of the dark gangrene, When caries [cavities I assume?] comes, with stealthy pace, to throw Corrosive ink-spots on those banks of snow, Brook no delay, ye trembling, suffering Fair, But fly for refuge to the Dentist's care. | |
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Excellent!!! | |
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brut aftershave and matching soap - tho i'll never have a problem repelling insects All those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand...
---------------------------------------------- So I contradict myself? I am large, I contain multitudes. | |
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a carbon-monoxide detector
"its the thought that counts" Fuck the funk - it's time to ditch the worn-out Vegas horns fills, pick up the geee-tar and finally ROCK THE MUTHA-FUCKER!! He hinted at this on Chaos, now it's time to step up and fully DELIVER!!
KrystleEyes 22/03/05 | |
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I got about a dozen stuffed animals. What the hell! I am not five anymore. All they do is take up room that I don't have. And the worst part was that my mom gave me the biggest guilt trip about the stuffed bear she gave me. She tied a card around its neck that said "I love you Pammy and please take me back to Santa Cruz to love me too."
THANKS A LOT
Oh well. This was the first holiday ever (ever!!) that I didn't receive a Barbie of some kind or another. Geez.  I mean, like, where is the sun? | |
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Natsume said: I got about a dozen stuffed animals. What the hell! I am not five anymore. All they do is take up room that I don't have. And the worst part was that my mom gave me the biggest guilt trip about the stuffed bear she gave me. She tied a card around its neck that said "I love you Pammy and please take me back to Santa Cruz to love me too."
THANKS A LOT
Oh well. This was the first holiday ever (ever!!) that I didn't receive a Barbie of some kind or another. Geez. LMAO Arn't you at college now? That's funny. My father keeps buying me outdoor furniture. Every friggin year. I dont have a big back yard so I dont know what the fuck I'm supposed to do with it all. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. | |
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bkw said: Natsume said: I got about a dozen stuffed animals. What the hell! I am not five anymore. All they do is take up room that I don't have. And the worst part was that my mom gave me the biggest guilt trip about the stuffed bear she gave me. She tied a card around its neck that said "I love you Pammy and please take me back to Santa Cruz to love me too."
THANKS A LOT
Oh well. This was the first holiday ever (ever!!) that I didn't receive a Barbie of some kind or another. Geez. LMAO Arn't you at college now? That's funny. My father keeps buying me outdoor furniture. Every friggin year. I dont have a big back yard so I dont know what the fuck I'm supposed to do with it all. this is funny! ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect, it means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections... unknown | |
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TWO FUCKING COPIES of the Teen Wolf / Teen Wolf Too DVD. Even my godly obscenity-laced vocabulary can't describe how pathetically shitty that is. 
My future in-laws got this fucked up looking tube from one of their siblings (I think my father-in-law's brother or something)...we couldn't figure out what in the fuck it was supposed to be. I said it was some sort of pipe or a musical instrument. It looked like a tailpipe, had a few small holes, one big hole, and a little tail thing on it...My fiancee said it was probably some really shitty art. My future father-in-law eventually ended up just calling his brother, and found out the thing was a bird-feeder. 
. . . . . . "Drop that stereo before I blow your Goddamn nuts off, asshole!"
-Eugene Tackleberry | |
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someone sent me a used mumu.
can't even wear it because the cleaners told me those stains will NEVER come out | |
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I can't think of a gift that was bad actually. I can think of something else though... I had planned to take my son and myself to spend xmas with my boyfriend...and he cancelled...xmas eve.
Merry fucking xmas!! | |
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i got a book on how to make your own perfume...I AM HORRIBLY ALMOST-DEATHLY allergic to pratically every perfume out there...this gift sucked monkey nuts!!!
oops...sorry Aunt Dawn...i loved it, thank you!!! you're only as old as you feel..............so how old do i feel 
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. | |
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XxAxX said: someone sent me a used mumu.
can't even wear it because the cleaners told me those stains will NEVER come out wtf? I'm sorry but that take the cake | |
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4LOVE said: XxAxX said: someone sent me a used mumu.
can't even wear it because the cleaners told me those stains will NEVER come out wtf? I'm sorry but that take the cake That's some sad shit aint it.  | |
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I pair of nail-clippers from my grandma.  From the Great Smokey Mountains.
However, I appreciate the she thought of me while she was on vacation, and she also got me several other things to compensate. When I opened the box, and those nail clippers fell out, I was thinking, "What the..." which is better than what my Aunt Linda said last year when grandma got her a singing duck. -------
A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti... "I've just had an apostrophe!" "I think you mean an epiphany..." | |
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lmao @ this thread... this is what i needed to read!!
and i was feeling bad cause someone bought me a cheap gold chain... ~Live Free ... Be Wyld~AlwaysOnlyMakeBelieve - LiveUrLyfe... laissez le bon temps rouler...vivre sans être sauvage...हमेशा ही बना विश्वास ~Change and do so CONSTANTLY... | |
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A goblet.
From Mom. A GOBLET!!!?? | |
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Not to sound unappreciative, but...one of my customers, one who tips large and often, gave me one of those "Harriet Carter" boxed set of 3 tin "pails". They nested in one another, and was so cheap, my daughter could've done a better job painting them.
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Last year my roommate's parents stuffed her stocking full of Midol and shaving cream. Nothing says HAPPY HOLIDAYS like toiletries! I mean, like, where is the sun? | |
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I got the Kelly Osbourne CD.  I love working on my acting every x-mas.
Oh thanks, I LOVE it! ==========================
 LICK MY MAJIK NIPPLE!!! | |
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Boob said: I got the Kelly Osbourne CD.
I love working on my acting every x-mas.
Oh thanks, I LOVE it! 
I'd rather receive Barbies, thanks! I mean, like, where is the sun? | |
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I received two gifts this year and I loved them both! My grandma bought me a ring and my mother bought me a coat I had been wanting. YAY!
So, I didn't get a bad gift in the bunch! | |
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XxAxX said: someone sent me a used mumu.
can't even wear it because the cleaners told me those stains will NEVER come out LMAO!! When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. | |
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a Hadleys dried fruit basket... "Climb in my fur." | |
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XxAxX said: someone sent me a used mumu.
can't even wear it because the cleaners told me those stains will NEVER come out Hey! That's an heirloom. | |
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rdhull said: a Hadleys dried fruit basket...
Dried, huh? | |
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Does not being able to access the site while it was down this X-mas count? 
Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture! REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince "I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben |
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