Ottensen said:

Actually, I guess somewhere along the way people started claiming that this is what a cougar is, but it's not the true meaning at all.

They are not alpha, they are old, worn hard and usually very cheap looking, dressed like a 20 something skank, usually divorced with kids and are desperately trying to reclaim their youth.

Enter the Cougar Den!

maybe i can hide behind being a student at university of houston again.....there is a "cougar den" over there.....fuck marketing myself as "an older woman" whoever is at the cougar den with a respectable look and convo....we having at it...

JustErin said:

Perhaps you may be speaking of the women you know, but in my experience that has hardly been the case.

Just sayin', Mamacita

Ottensen said:

Or maybe where she lives, that's what the term has always referred to.

I've heard the term for the first time last year.
A 26 year old male workmate of mine called our supervisor (A 38 year old female) a 'cougar' cause she had a date with a guy that was 10 years younger than her.


I had to ask him what 'cougar' meant.
She and he both thought it was funny, but what struck me as odd, is that the girls I tend to hookup with have been on average 7 to 10 years younger than me and there's no term for me.

But then again, it's not like I go out looking for younger people to hookup with. It just seems to be what happens. I rarely end up with someone my age or older, even though when it comes to men, I prefer older, and with women I don't really have a preference. It's not something I actually 'think' about consciously. It would be weird to have to live with a label like that based on someone I hook up with when their age isn't factored into it for me. Though I admit, I'm not interested in anyone in their younger 20's on average.


Is 'cougar' derogatory? It seems to me like it's one of those terms born from a certain level of meanness.


.
[Edited 9/20/09 14:36pm]

Imago said:

Well of course it's to some extent derogatory, just by its existence. It implies that she must be a certain "breed" of woman to be considered desirable by younger men at her age. The reason we don't have a name for older men who screw younger women is that we don't find it odd when middle-aged man are found sexy and fuckable by young women. They just are. But when we think of an "older woman," we think "undesirable." So a woman over 40 who is still in the game must have a label attached to her, because in our minds that's just so out of the damn ordinary. It's born of sexism, of course.

But, as Ottie has illustrated, it has been claimed and flaunted by some fierce and sexy bitches (another term born of sexism that's had its power reclaimed.)

PunkMistress said:

But it just seems to me that the term doesn't actually mean a desirable older woman, but one that is...erm..... skanky.

MILF seems more akin to someone you'd say was 'still in the game' for being older.


Cougar evokes a predatory, over-the-hill desperate type.

Or am I just reading too much into it?

Imago said:

I'll be honest; when Chris and I are out in public, we make a "rawr" cougar noise whenever we see an over-the-hill broad with giant implants, sprayed-to-death hair, and spackled-on makeup.

PunkMistress said:

Oh honey, in Tampa, it may not be a cougar but a drag queen. You just never know

some men like raisin bread puddin

utopia7 said:

Yeast infection?

RenHoek said:

Ok good..was worried.

PunkMistress said:

Exactly and the term originated in Canada, so what I described is the original definition, and still is that around these parts.

It has nothing to do with woman I know.

Imago said:

Nope, you're right. That's a true coug.

Cougar hall of fame;


Demi Moore


Madonna


Linda Hogan

PunkMistress said:

um no.... some men like old women THE END

JustErin said:

Well that's disappointing to hear . I like the icy, sexy bitch power cougar. Something about the alpha bitchness in them is very entertaining ...actually, just going my your avies alone, at 45+ you would be an ideal cougar; that is diva cougar. The fashionista in me is not liking this skank cougar catagory thingy at all

PunkMistress said:

I guess just a little bit of everywhere I heard it, that's what some of the older ladies I know are referred to and refer to themselves as. They're all high achieving, well heeled women, short on time, even shorter on patience who like er um, dalliances with younger men. Most of the cougars I know are in the Manhattan area, though; music publicists, choreographers, model agents, art directors, the occasional fashion editor...bad hair, make-up, & clothing is a no-no in that arena, no skankness allowed

Ottensen said:

Can you help me getting an apartment in that area?

novabrkr said:

Nope. I live in Europe

You mean to tell me you wouldn't mind ironing your girlfriend's blouses in your underwears while she looks at you like a Praying Mantis

I don't look that good when I'm just in my underwear.

novabrkr said:

me neither

ZombieKitten said:

Add me to the club, I need to do sit-ups BIGTIME