my ex and i still talk alot in fact i'm spending next week with him and he's in a committed relationship

NDRU said:

That about sums it up.

I'm friends with all my ex's. They've been friends throughout my relationships. My partners at the time knew that. Some liked it, some didn't. If they didn't trust me, they had no reason to be with me. Out of respect, I always invited my partner to go with me to see whatever ex. There was never any hidden agenda.

If your ex is just your ex then it should be cool but that's something you have to ask your current partner.

Sorry if I didn't make any sense.

you totally can and then there is always one or two that remind u how much you would like to stab them everytime you talk to them

PANDURITO said:

Serious said:

no, but if the shoe fits....Sorry, no offense! NEVER MIND!!!!! lol!
[Edited 9/16/09 14:27pm]

kenlacam said:

Some of us prefer to treat situations as they are rather than assuming the worst. I guess that's weird.

I know lots of people that are very good friends with their exes. They even get invited to their exes' weddings. I don't see anything wrong with that.

The general rule of thumb is to not do anything that you wouldn't want your spouse to do, or you KNOW would make your spouse mad. If you don't know, talk to them about it, you'll find out pretty quick.[/quote]
AGREED
Don't ladies realize that 99% of the time your platonic, innocent male friends WANT TO DRILL YOUR BRAINS OUT? I think some do but are so badly in need of companionship that they act naive. Trust me, your husbands/boyfriends know this and that is why they aren't comfortable with the "friendship" ESPECIALLY with someone who's already had you and might want to go there again!
Trusting your partner is one thing. Being stupid and blind is another.

In general, I would prefer no friendship with ex-'s, but sometimes it is unavoidable; like if they work together or have a child together.

jone70 said:

such a straight point of view. most everyone i know keeps in contact with their ex to some level.

I don't see a problem with it, if you both are over each other...I think it actually seems kind of nice to remain friends, if you end to relationship not hating eachother

sextonseven said:

our exes came to our wedding and we met up with them socially loads of times, lost track of them now though, over time.

ehuffnsd said:

Straight as in hetero or straight as in narrow?


I am not a very trusting person to begin with, and based on past experience, I am very wary of people I date "hanging out" with their ex's. (Not to mention I think a lot of women have no shame and will hit on a guy even if they know he is involved with someone else.) So, personally, I'm not very comfortable with the whole idea.

jone70 said:

straight as in hetro.

No, my ex tried to get all smooth and consistent with her correspondence when she found out I had a lady. They see you are happy and will ultimately ruin it. Plus its a rerun, reruns suck, you've seen the show before and know exactly how it will end

meow85 said:

I will never, ever understand this as long as I live and breathe.

NDRU said:

Of course it's totally fine. I think it's weird to totally cut someone out of your life that you care for. Just because it ends doesn't mean that you don't care about them anymore. In fact, I find non-amicable break ups odd. I could never suddenly hate someone I love. weird.

Vendetta1 said:

Allow me to join the choir, me neither.

Many a relationship didn't get off the ground because some man thought he could tell whom I could be friends with ex or not. A relationship should be based on trust and honesty not ownership. I have an ex for which I continued to have friendship with and I've been married for 22 years. Habbo (my husband) doesn't trip and never has over my male friendships just like I don't trip over his female friends.

=====
[Edited 9/16/09 20:43pm]

TD3 said:

It's up to each individual and whether they are comfortable with their partner maintaining a relationship with someone they have been emotionally and romantically attached to in the past. Personally I do not because they are an EX and for me that means they are now EXcluded from my life.

kenlacam said:

And there it is.....

PanthaGirl said:

That's how I feel too. To me, it's like what kenlacam said, that keeping an ex as a friend is just a back up plan for the current situation. So if the current partner fucks up, then they can lean on the "ex" for support, and we all know what that leads to. I don't have not one ex that I wouldn't mind being friends with, why? For what? To play catch up on our lives? No honey, I've moved on. That's my past, I've moved on to my future.

I'm not in touch with my exes, but when I was, there was nothing romantic about it. Last time I saw him, I was sitting there thinking "wow, I used to be ATTRACTED to him" my how my tastes have changed!!!

Then again, there was this other ex
who I wouldn't DARE stay in touch with!!!!!

missfee said:

Absolutely...

PanthaGirl said:

For you two maybe...but definitely not for everyone. It's cool to realize that it's that way for yourselves but to assume it's also that way for your partner is silly.

TD3 said:

Its much much more complex sometimes. There is nothing wrong with being friends with exes or the opposite sex and your in a relationship. It all depends on the intentions and/or actions or expectations of the other party. That is when there is a problem. My ex of ten years had a female best friend and ex whom he was friends with and I never had a problem with it because they never over stepped their boundaries. So it all depends. And a relationship takes two. Whats good for one relationship may not be okay for another. Its not always about trust issues but about what each is comfortable with.

heybaby said:

And I think its wonderful how every body is telling every body how they should think