dreamfactory313 said:

I did not say that! Read what I said again... Most gay men that I know are in the arts and I don't know any Indian doctors who are gay. There could very well be some, but I don't know any.
[Edited 9/26/09 17:13pm]

I missed his pic.

pplrain said:

I understand what you're saying. Its all good.

I think y'all are gonna get nekkid after the football on Sunday

Seriously though, good luck, whatever happens.

Mach said:

dreamfactory313 said:

I have a feeling you'll hadle it a bit more smoothly than this...but still..

take notes here, Dahling. take notes

PurpleJedi said:

Scoot Over! ...I'm totally late to this thread and can't believe I missed out this much

dreamfactory313 said:

Y'anno? Maybe I should tell my childhood Ivy League graduate gay friends that they need to give up their careers as anesthesiologist, surgeon, and podiatrist because somehow the fine and performing arts are more suited their abilities, or
...?

Ottensen said:

make room for me

veronikka said:

The more the merrier


We should set up a coffee clutch to discuss how this thing is playing out, or something.

Missed the pics tho.

Ottensen said:

PurpleJedi said:

so did I

Tell him you need to suck his feet.

Hi everyone. Ive been back from the game for a few hours now. We had a great time. We must have been good luck for the Lions because they won their first game since November 2007 today! It was far from a sellout but I found it waaay too loud to have a consistent conversation but it was still cool. We met at the Will Call window. He shook my hand smiling and added a quick hug this time when he greeted me. He wore a green Polo shirt and jeans. I wore jeans and a green button down. We talked sports and what it was like for him growing up in Jersey as compared to here in Michigan. We talked Obama, economics, food, tv, and fashion, but not once did he mention a girlfriend or any kind of topic even remotely involving sex or romance. I had a cool time with him but I just cant get a read. Most of the game, I couldnt look at him because I thought Id say something stupid, so I talked to him alot of times without much eye contact. I kept my eyes on the field and the scoreboard. Neither of us had concessions because we are both frugal. Who wants a $5 hot dog or a $8 beer anyway. Besides, I dont eat hot dogs or drink beer. We didnt grab food afterwards because he had studying to do. We left with about 10 minutes left in the 4th, said we'd see each other tomorrow morning and walked in our separate directions. The walk back to the parking structure was so lonely. I wanted to have him back at my apartment. I tried to think of something else. There was a street musician playing a depressing blues song with his guitar on the curb with his case propped open to receive tips. I threw the $10 change left over from my parking charge in the case and I told him, God bless you. Im really hoping that God blesses me. I went home thinking that for the most part the whole thing was too platonic. Sure, all of his usual niceties were present. He is a total gentleman and as warm as grandma's apple pie. I love the guy but I just dont know where this is going. I dont wanna be on a roller coaster that ends up slamming into a wall.

God help.

You're so much more brave than I could ever be!

Hope it all turns out well for you

edit.
[Edited 9/27/09 19:12pm]

I really wish you the best with this. It sounds like you are very much into this guy, and I hope it works out. I had a somewhat similar experience once with a work crush, and it really didn't end well. Every situation is different, but just a couple things I would suggest thinking about after reading your description of going to the game.

For one, you mentioned he didn't talk about any girlfriend or anything like that. But did he talk about any former boyfriends or say anything that gives you an impression that he is gay, bi, or bi-curious?

Two, does he know you're gay? Did he ask any questions about your romantic/personal life?

Three, when you're the object of someone's affections, whether you know it or not, it's incredibly flattering. That kind of attention feels great, and some people soak it up. He may simply be impressed with the flattering attention you give him and that might be why he seeks you out so often at work.

Four, when you leave a night out with someone feeling lonely and depressed, it's a big red flag that your head knows something your heart doesn't want to accept. Just my two cents based on my own experiences.

Hopefully you'll know where you stand very soon and then you can either enjoy the relationship or move past the crush part of it and enjoy being friends with him.

Efan said:

Great advice John.

Efan said:

Thank you for your sobering advice.

Ive decided that we are just going to keep going out until I know for sure whats going on. I'll keep you all posted along the way..

just stay away from the players, you know when you get that intuition about that someone.
[Edited 9/27/09 22:19pm]

Ottensen said:

dreamfactory313 said:

Great idea, maybe he is just lonely and needs a friend.
[Edited 9/28/09 1:22am]

dreamfactory313 said:

That sounds fair enough. It seems the more contact you'll have, eventually you can get around to being subtly (and respectfully) nosy about each other's private lives. It may also provide the opportunity for a few more of those "hand shake" greetings for you to see if he's going to let his hand linger in yours a bit longer than what is usual for a standard greeting, and make any intense eye contact.

In the meantime your cyberspace org family will be here for you, waiting for details and cheering you on

Look at it this way, at least you guys are friends

I wish I could say I'm friends with my crush

That being said, just be patient

Alej said:

But doesn't that make the feelings of inner conflict more intensified


Wait! What am I talking about? I have a crush on one of my friends too

Actually... TWO of my friends

Ottensen said:

Not in my case Especially because he has a boyfriend, so I know I can't do anything. I simply would LOVE to get to know him but He hates me

Alej said:

Okay, but.... look at it this way,at least you know where you stand 100%




I'm not in a proper frame of reference to think about dating anybody right now, but I can't help catching fuzzy wuzzy feelings when I'm around my friend...and I'm starting to feel dorky every time I see him standing around a girl at my church. Not all girls, just certain ones that I know he's friends with outside of church. I'm almost 40 and I feel 14 again and I hate it

Ottensen said:

Feeling 14

And, yes, I guess I know where I stand but

Ok guys. Today, I was walking the hall to the PT offices for sitting rounds and as I walked past the elevators, there he was Styrofoam coffee cup in hand, crisp white lab coat on, lavender tie, black pinstriped pants, shined black shoes... I wanted to push him back in the elevator and have at it.

Instead, we greeted each other in our usual way with Kool-Aid grins and lingering handshakes. I lead him into the office and we sat next to each other and proceeded with sitting rounds for the next half hour. After 9 am, I had a patient refuse treatment secondary to nausea and lightheadedness. I went to notify her nurse, she in turn asked me to tell another resident who I am also buddies with. I found this doctor and he was seated next to Dr. "R" at the computers preparing for walking rounds. There was another doctor there too but I don't know him well. Anyway, I walked over to the resident and told him that the patient refused treatment secondary to nausea and lightheadedness. He said okay thanks for letting him know and that he'd go in to see her during walking rounds. Dr R heard our conversation and chimed in, "You have that affect on people." The other resident added, "Do you have that affect on women?" I chuckled, finished writing my cancel note in the patient's chart, looked up and HE WINKED AT ME!!!!!

I couldn't believe it. I played it off like I didn't see it because I was stunned. WTF!?

About an hour later, I met up with him again in the Physical Therapy gym. I was just starting my stretching routine with my TKA patient and he calls me over, "Damon, can you come here for a second." I say, sure. He opens a piece of paper with the unit's patients names, diagnoses, and room numbers, points to a what seems like a random name and asks, "Do you know her?" What kind of a question is that?

If she is on your case load, you should know her, if not why do you even care?== this is what Im thinking, which is why I know it was random. He just wanted me to come over there. I know it. Anyway, the person that he pointed to I hadn't conducted a chart review at that time but was due to see her at 2pm. I told him no, I don't know her. I was close enough to him to kiss his cheek. He said, ok, thanks and I went back to my patient. For my next two patients, I could barely concentrate thinking about him and his weirdness. I cant wait until he isn't a resident at my hospital anymore because I am going to tell him how I feel about him come hell or high water. I just hope the situation presents itself before then. I think we are getting closer but its taking forever. I think we are both treading light because we don't want to jeopardize anything. We both would have so much to lose if things don't work out. But I know that theres something there. We've carried on much to long like this. Im going to hang out with him at one of the football games sideline. next Friday.

Stay tuned....