Ok now I'm just feeling plain guilty, so I have this to say:

My condolences to anyone who's lost their parents.
I'm not venting about this because I take my parents for granted - which is obviously what most think.

I have been seeing it from my parent's perspective for sometime now, I owe some attention to myself right now.
And thank you for the advice, regardless.

we used to have to make everything by hand back in the olden days to mimic a finished printed piece. Custom letraset anyone? Screenprinting, bromide paper and chemicals

sammij said:

And you shouldn't feel guilty about that. Not at all.

We're all going to die someday; that doesn't mean that we should all be long-suffering martyrs just because the people we're dealing with won't be here one day.



You're not an asshole and you have every right to vent.

PunkMistress said:

Geeesh
I never called her an asshole, never said she shouldn't vent. Never said she should be a martyr. Never said she should feel guilty. Just giving a different perspective, that's all. There is nothing wrong in saying she could take a difficult situation and try to make it better.

shellyevon said:

I wasn't accusing you of anything. Just trying to be supportive to Sammi, that's all. She said she felt guilty, and I didn't want her to feel like shit. I just don't think that simply because her parents will die someday, she should accept any old treatment from them. She has the right to want space to herself, and to want her mother to behave reasonably toward her.

PunkMistress said:

Of course she shouldn't accept being treated badly.
Trying to understand her mother is a step towards a good relationship. It's patently obvious they are a loving family, Even in a loving family it isn't always easy to get what you need.
That transition from being a family where the parents have all control to being a family of adults who are friends that respect each other can be difficult but it is worth the effort. By validating her Mom's feelings, then Sammi can work towards having her needs validated too. It can be a win-win situation.
It's sad that some people never even try to find the middle ground.

shellyevon said:

To be fair, you don't know even half of the story, just what I've told you.
And to be honest, the middle ground has been attempted by myself, and it hasn't worked.
Thanks for the advice, though.

ZombieKitten said:

I remember Letraset! Color Aid paper was big in our school too. We also learned how to use Rubylith.

People have given some advice about letting your mother know your boundaries and that is good, but I think you should try and see things from your parent's perspective.

They probably are as anxious as you are for you to be out on your own again. Yes, they love you and will try and support you but they have been waiting a long time for their turn to do what they want sans children. They are making sacrifices by letting you come home, at 23, they do not owe you a place to crash.

Would it kill you to make some small talk when you come home if that's what your mother would like?
If you really CAN'T do that for her then could you try and make time for conversation another time? Maybe go out for coffee or walks or something.
I know it can be a hard transition, but at 23 you should be becoming friends with your parents more than being their "child". That will be harder in some ways because you are depending on them right now, but the forced togetherness can work for the good if you let it.

Good relationships take a lot of effort.
I'm sorry if this sounds preachy but your time with them is limited and you should make the most of it while you can. My Dad has been gone for7 years now and my Mom just passed away last month. I would give anything to be able to make small talk with them again.

sextonseven said:

you're bringing back all my suppressed memories now!! Yoken marker fumes, spray adhesives, that squeaking sound of the bromide rollers when you're alone in the dark

ZombieKitten said:

My biggest nightmare in school was using the photostat camera in the darkroom in the basement. Making prints on that thing was such a pain!

sextonseven said:

tell me about it is that a bromide machine?


how olden days is this photo!!!

this thing?!?!?


how do you copy your bum on one of these?

I've learned never to tell my mother if I feel bad, because it turns into a competition.

You know...

"Well, God help you if you feel like that now, because I'm 63, so imagine what I feel like? You've got nothing to complain about!"

Yadda, yadda, yadda...

graphic design used to be the second most expensive course you could do
(first was gold and silversmithing )

if they are teaching you CS4 or whatever, you'd need a macbook pro, right?

we used to have to make everything by hand back in the olden days to mimic a finished printed piece. Custom letraset anyone? Screenprinting, bromide paper and chemicals

when I get home, no wait. I never actually leave!

when everyone ELSE gets home they should most definitely NOT talk for at least an hour, especially not to me

sextonseven said:

tell me about it is that a bromide machine?


how olden days is this photo!!!

this thing?!?!?


how do you copy your bum on one of these?

ZombieKitten said:

i'd be down for learning how to use those gadgets

ZombieKitten said:

I think we both mean the bromide machine although I don't remember anyone calling it that at school.