To get some food. On the way to the store they ran into an intersection with a stoplight. The light showed red. The man driving went right through the red light. The passenger looked at the driver and screamed, "What the heck are you doing? You're going to get us killed!" Then the driver responded, "Don't worry, my mother allways drives like this." So later on, the two guys came to another stoplight and that too was red. The driver sped right through the light. Again the passenger looked at the driver and said, "I thought I told you, you're gonna get us killed! Would you please stop this nonsense!" The driver looked at the passenger and responded, "I get it! But like I told already, you my mother drives like this all the time!" Again, the two guys ran into another light. This time in was green. The driver slammed on his brakes and stopped the car completely. "What the hell are you doing?" The passenger screamed. "This is the third time you almost got us killed. Why did you stop at a green light?" The driver replied,




"That's my mom's car coming over there!"

Good one

Happy Friday, Y'all !

Hee hee hee

lol

I don't get it.

PunkMistress said:

i hope you're playing.

sinisterpentatonic said:

Did he stop because his mother's a crazy bitch and was about to run the red light on the other side?

PunkMistress said:

no silly, you don't get it, do you?

sinisterpentatonic said:

PunkMistress said:

s'ok. i'm sure Chris will explain it to you.

At joke and thread!!!


Happy Friday Funkhoney!!!




I'm off for 10 days after today!!

PunkMistress said:

i don't either

InsatiableCream said:

They were driving to a local grocery store. Get it?
A grocery store!!!


The mother!

teehee

Here's another one.. (don't read it if you're easily offended!)

A man is queueing at the 5 items or less checkout. The girl in front of him turns around and looks in his basket. He has a 4 pack of lager and an indian meal for 1. She smiles at him. He looks in her basket and sees a half bottle of wine and a chinese meal for 1.
He says to her "you're single aren't you?" She gives a girly giggle and says "yes, how did you know?"























The man replies "cos you're an ugly cunt."

Hellooooo


Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and
one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther
away... Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says "Hellooooo,
can you see Florida ?????"

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if
he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you took away my license and then today you expect me to
show it to you!"

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I
get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and
shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her
body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed,
then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee
and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is
broken."

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on
the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook
their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn
up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know.
We're going at night!"

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,
and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying
that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said,
"Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOO.....," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"