1. When women refuse to get naked.

I've had hook-ups with women before that refused to let me take their shirt off. Either because they thought their breast were too small or because of the effects of having a child. It's weird having sex with someone who has a sweater on and both of you trying to act as if it were normal.

2. Women who try to hide their naked bodies.

I've had girls refuse doggie, not because they didn't like it, but because they thought their ass was too fat. Or when they are constantly trying to hide under the sheet. What's the point of being naked!

3. Saying I love you

Maybe if we are in a loving relationship, but if I just meet you at a bar! Don't ask me to tell you I love you and I don't want to here it from you. I was with a chick one night that kept telling me she loved me while we were having sex and asked me to do the same. One problem! I thought her name was Rene but it was Rena.


4. Abruptly telling me you don't like something during sex.

If you don't like were my hands are going, then move them were you want them. If someone kissing your nipples feels weird then move my lips were you want them. Don't launch into a speech about you not being that kind of girl or it feels weird because your step brother did that when you were younger.

5. Women who don't give head!!!!!

It's 2009, feel free to get caught up in the oral sex craze! I've been with woman that wouldn't give head because "it's nasty" but they would kiss their dog or cat in the mouth.

you've had some great luck, there, haven't you?
here I suppose I could add:

-roll over after 15 minutes

-yawn

emm said:

Who the hell can last 15 minutes?

Thank goodness I have been in a monogamous married relationship for almost 26 years.


Not take my clothes off? Hell he has seen me give birth 4 times..

Stare at my while performing fellatio.

If im working my way down, dont put ur fuckin hands on my head and push.

the fuck u think im about to do?

DanceWme said:

I always say "Do you WANT me to throw up on you? No? Ok, then take your fucking hands off my head!"
[Edited 7/8/09 11:20am]

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

Guilty of that!

CarrieLee said:

I was also going to say "putting on a condom" but I really don't want an std so I deal with it.

jockeyb4u said:

amazing.

DanceWme said:

CarrieLee said:

Oh, you big babies.

That shit is hot.

[snip - CarrieMpls]


why yall so uptight ? why cant you just take it to the next level ?

celebrate life yall ! tis the season of the year you know?


yall so prude

JustErin said:

of course it is to u.

thats why u puked up doritos


But i wont go there

JustErin said:

You still haven't revealed your schedule for "love making"

DanceWme said:

ONE TIME!! ONE FUCKING TIME!

Be clean and brush your teeth..oh..and trim the bush.
For the rest...almost anything goes as long as the 'magic' is there

DanceWme said:

oh hell

jockeyb4u said:

My ex could go for 45 minutes. but his personality sucked

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

and the whole time they're thinking "oh god i hate doing this" ahahahaha

jockeyb4u said:

Love making?

That's easy, that would be never.

MacDaddy said:

Magic = alcohol?

JustErin said:

stiiiiilllll funny

DanceWme said:

Yes, I know.

DesireeNevermind said:

To brag on myself a lil bit, even when sex was new to me, I've never had a problem lasting. But I've found several women don't want it to go on for too long, some even act insulted if they feel you should have busted by now. As if they think you're not enjoying yourself.

jockeyb4u said:

sometimes it's just that people are not matched up sexually. sure you can learn adapt to your partner but some things are beyond one's control. I mean if you know yourself that you take a long time to bust a nut then you need a chica that takes a long time to climax. If you're gonna bust it after 60 seconds then you need a chick that's gonna fall asleep after 30.

1. complete absense of foreplay.
2. having a television on.
3. asking "who's your daddy?"
4. being treated like a inflatable doll....
5. when it seems like there's a one-way conversation going on between him and his self.

jockeyb4u said:

There's nothing wrong with that, it's just one of MY things.

my gay friend says his boyfriend farts when they do it and he hates it. I just don't see how that's even possible and uh...ewwwww! farting is so gross now that I'm thinking of it. I actually think farts smell worse than the shit itself.
I digress. CARRY ON!